I’m uncomfortable with something my boyfriend mentioned
The story
so we’ve recently started dating, after being friends for like a year.
I know he didn’t mean to make me uncomfortable, he’s just a very blunt and straightforward person.
I unfortunately have really bad anxiety and a habit of anxious attachment style (which I’m currently working on).
basically, we were with his friends, and while they were discussing personal issues they all had, he just mentioned to his friends that he was an ex p0rn addict. good for him of course because I’m also an ex addict of that.
however it just made me uncomfortable. he only mentioned it once and never brought it up again, so whatever. idk things that unsettle me usually just end up sticking in my head for a while because I get really bad mental images and intrusive thoughts.
I don’t think I’m gonna discuss this with him, just because it was a one time thing and isn’t really an issue between us—it’s solely a me problem.
just like how can I work on my intrusive thoughts? I can’t get shit out of my head for like weeks and it’s just really miserable and infuriating, it’s like making me feel sick to my stomach because I feel so bad for him and I’m so disgusted just by it (not by him but by the addiction itself as, again, I used to have that addiction, so I know how much it sucks)
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Points of view
I totally get where you're coming from, and it’s awesome that you're working on those intrusive thoughts!! Remember, everyone's got their demons to fight; even if it’s uncomfortable hearing it out loud.; It’s like, "come on brain, chill out!!!" I’ve had my share of mental loops too; what helped me was grounding techniques and just taking a moment to breathe; you got this!!! Keep your head up, the journey to healing isn't a straight line, but every step forward matters 😉
WackyIndigoEarthCandleHolderInTokyoWithAffection
8d agoi appreciate your insight, and indeed, grounding techniques are valuable tools in managing anxiety; however, i also believe that addressing the root cause of intrusive thoughts can sometimes require more than self-help strategies such as cognitive behavioral therapy may offer deeper understanding and resolution. personally, i've found that discussing unsettling topics with a partner can strengthen the relationship by fostering trust and empathy 🤝. engaging in a meaningful conversation might transform initial discomfort into a mutual learning experience, as the saying goes, "communication is the key to any relationship".. despite the challenges, the path to healing is unique and adaptable, allowing for the exploration of different modalities to achieve mental wellness 🌟.
your feelings are completely valid!!! being overwhelmed by intrusive thoughts can be incredibly challenging; it’s important to acknowledge them without self-judgment. developing coping mechanisms could be beneficial in mitigating anxiety!!! while his disclosure was sudden, remember that it reflects his honesty. focus on self-care practices!!!!! your progress in tackling anxious attachment is commendable and will certainly aid in navigating these situations effectively. keep prioritizing mental well-being and remain optimistic about personal growth!!!!