I feel terrible because I'm not spending my day with her. It's a holiday, and we're not going out for drinks or anything. This whole "each of us doing our own thing" thing bothers me, and I don't want it to be this way. I want to be with her, I want to experience things together, kiss her, have sex with her, go out, and do other romantic things. She's a very special girl to me, the one who has won my heart. I met her at the office, but I'm not willing to let things end there; I'm not willing to let her go. She's the one I want to marry. I hadn't planned it at all, but I don't care. I want to build a life with her. Just one touch between us, a light kiss on the cheek, done completely naturally, told me everything, absolutely everything: that she's the one, that she's my soulmate.

I can't imagine a life without her. Personally, I don't care at all what people at the office think. I don't care about our differences, not at all. I don't even care that she has terrible social skills, that she's the most annoying person in the office. I feel like we share something special; we've been through a lot together, and that can't end there. I'm fed up with her seriousness, with that thing that makes her always stand on the sidelines. I know she came to the office with a certain idea, just work, but the answer is no. Our feelings speak of something else entirely. This isn't just work; in fact, there's nothing that connects us, so there's no excuse to say this is just an illusion. What we've experienced is definitely the story of two strangers, no shortcuts, who were drawn to each other, and she certainly didn't want to let it go, and she never did. In fact, no matter what, even if she denies it, even if she hasn't said anything, without a doubt, we're dating, definitely. Nothing has been said, but that's what I feel.

We're dating because our moments together are unique, private, understood only by us, and they fill us in our own way, setting us apart from all the other relationships around us. She's the love of my life, the only one who has truly won me over, the only one with whom I haven't felt the weight of being alone. We're in this together, we've risked everything, facing life's unpredictability. I feel like we don't even need to do anything, just wait for things to happen, like we always have. It's no secret at the office what we have, that I fought against my coworkers' insistence on maintaining a united front, which, to begin with, wasn't really there. I fought for her for something real, something established, something well-built. She protects us, literally, with her life, as if there were no tomorrow, and with everyone else, she keeps them at a distance, at bay, never talking about life's misfortunes. Not with me, though; it's all just pure sweetness. Indeed, to be with her, like me, you have to earn it, you have to face challenges, fears, the fact that she's no longer just meeting expectations, but revealing her feelings.

I think I can say, with all due respect, that I'm crazy about her, that I can't live without her, and I hope this isn't seen as obsession. I mean, I want to say it, I'm fed up with this censorship of language that translates into a normality no one believes in, that instead threatens outbursts of violence. I don't care if they understand it at the office or not, I love her and she's my girlfriend, that's how I see her. In part, I have to admit that I'm extremely happy with how things have turned out with her; I've never felt so special, so cherished, so loved, so valued in my entire life. It's as if we were husband and wife. I really needed to say all of the above to somehow unblock myself regarding those thoughts and settle into the present, under what little agreement there is, which is essentially nothing. I feel that I would never, ever make an agreement with her, and that working with her is dangerous, personally, because you can't have any conflicts with her, otherwise strange things will start happening.

With her, having something like that based on agreements is a recipe for instability. That favoritism, that manipulation, those standards—it's a beautiful thing I'd rather never deal with. I prefer my relationship with her to be discreet, comfortable, intimate, and where I'm allowed to make mistakes, not confined by any standards. I mean, I don't feel pressured by her in any way. In fact, I'm grateful that she has me blocked everywhere right now, because there's no way to make any assumptions about what she expects regarding the treatment, which in fact, after a certain standard treatment from her, she does have certain expectations and it's not crazy to say that she thinks about things that one doesn't.

I can't deny it, to me that girl seems like a danger par excellence. I don't like her at all, and that's why I've preferred a daily relationship, where there's a real, divine, delightful connection, where we feel each other and act with absolute respect, not in a routine intrusion, not in a situation where we're caught between a rock and a hard place, as they do with others. She never tried that with me, and that's precisely why I decided to make this happen, because, in fact, I was tremendously grateful for her respectful, inclusive, and welcoming treatment when I arrived at the office. That definitely couldn't stay that way, and that's why I fought to get to the point I've described. She, I can say from my own perspective, deserved it, and in fact, I'm willing to go as far as she wants. Not just anyone would treat me that way, and in fact, she broke through that mold of distance that others had with me. It was definitely worth it.

The others didn't understand; instead, they chose to take action to distance her from me, considering it an act of manipulation or something like that. It was a game with her feelings, and that's why I stood up to them, to the point that now at the office I feel completely with her, not with any other group, simply setting aside the prejudices that bureaucracy imposes on us. We've overcome many difficulties, and even though the diagnosis was that we would be fired, we categorically refused and are doing everything we can to maintain that stance. The environment doesn't dictate our relationships; we do. The environment doesn't tell us how to be; we do. The days of abandoning our feelings for others to move on with life, thus abandoning them, are over. It happened to us once, not twice. I feel proud to be by his side, to feel that I'm with someone who truly stands up for himself, fully defending his environment, on his own terms, from his own individuality. I foresee a prosperous future between us, because I feel a bond between us, before the world, and therefore one that can endure. A place to rest.

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