so i'm chilling at home, right? and then my phone buzzes. it's my partner's boss and i'm like, seriously? she asks if i can cover for him... again. really? apparently they called in sick but we both know that's code for drunk off their ass. you know, the kind of sozzled where words slur and shoes vanish into thin air. anyway, here i am torn between protecting his paycheck and confronting this ugly truth that's been staring us down for months now. honestly who's gonna put up with me lying through my teeth every time he pulls this stunt? honestly i want to cuss them out for all the late nights i've spent worrying if they're passed out in some ditch after a reckless bender.

and don't even get me started on our relationship taking hits below the belt more times than rocky balboa ever did. it's like dating dr jekyll and mr hyde; never sure which version walks through the door each night. sometimes i wonder if there's a hotline that specializes in significant others of boozehounds because god knows, i'll be their first platinum member after these nightmares. friends say love ain't blind but dude it's dumb as hell when you're tangled up with someone who can't even remember half the promises they make unless there's alcohol involved.

i've lost count of how many al-anon meetings i've thought about attending while sitting alone on saturday nights pretending everything's a-okay over instagram filters and oh-so-fake smiles. wish there was an award for best actor in the role of pretending life doesn't suck when your partner chooses liquor over love more often than not; i'd win every year hands down!

what bugs me is when people ask why stick around or why put up with this madness as if breaking up is like ordering a coffee. it feels way more complicated than that. heartstrings don’t just snap without leaving scars. it’s not like i can just walk away and pretend nothing happened. every day, i find myself wading through this sea of shattered dreams and painful memories. sometimes it feels like hope is a distant memory, buried under the weight of all this chaos. i wish it was as easy as it sounds. yeah, love can be beautiful, but when you’re left holding the pieces of someone else’s choices, it turns into something heavy and exhausting. i just keep waiting for the moment when everything shifts, for the chaos to calm down enough to find a way forward, but it feels like that moment is always just out of reach.

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