Valentines day crisis with me+ best friend: Leia+Online BF
The story
My best friend Leia, has a boyfriend in France, in other words we're in England and therefore they're online dating. I don't have a problem with online dating because I've done it before, but I don't like him. Not because he is French and in another country but because of him in general.
We were all friends, obviously they were dating and therefore it's different but me and him would play Minecraft. It was meant to be all 3 of us, but Leia was never in the mood simply because she was not in the phase.
Time skip, Valentine's day. They spend practically every day on call, calling till they sleep. Sleeping on call. Valentines was going to be the same. I wake up and find a message that it was Leia finally being on Minecraft! I have always wanted her to join ever since the world was made. I asked to join but I joined the world anyway, because I have technically been on the world longer than she has as a whole. I was told I was being "extremely rude" by her bf for simply joining.
Now thats a bit odd, yes its valentines day... But am I rude for simply being excited over my best friend that I know much longer than he does, bare in mind by 2 extra years of a sort simply from her being on a game that I wanted her to play all together for weeks? After simply 20 minutes. they left, he left minecraft on for me to carry on building, but thats it.
I did open up to this, with my other best friend, Sophia on call because... It wasn't personally that fair? just because its valentines I have been pushed away. Sophia asked her friends to see if it's okay also, one of them has a boyfriend themselves and they all said it's not okay. Therefore I message them both.
The hilarious bit. I was practically in the wrong from their point of view.
I brought it up, long argument short, I apologised for 'intruding' and just played with Sophia.
Another situation with them!
So, it was a random day, he asked me if I wanted to play minecraft at all that day, HE asked so I thought why not? it was 10am, I was busy, I told Sophia I couldn't call her today cause I had plans to call him. Now, throughout the day, I called with Sophia anyway but told her I had to leave at 4. Throughout the time, he has not left minecraft since 10. That was 6-7 (I'm not brain rotted, and it depends if you count 10am also) he has played practically none stop. On the dot, 4pm we planed to call. "Sorry im not in the mood anymore, maybe another day." Sorry? You're not in the mood because you played none stop, if you wanted to avoid that, log off especially if you know the time and what youre doing. I didn't hang up on Sophia thankfully. But what if I cancelled other plans just for this? not 10 minutes notice. Bang on the time of 4pm.
I texted Leia the problem, we went back and forth, she simply told me "talk to him on the group, I'm not involved" thanks.
On discord, on the group chat, I was texting him, back and forth, I now have another friend Ellie because I needed help knowing what to say and also to put in text (I tend to forget important information to involve so they help, + it was to help me know if im in the fault or not).
During this argument, he was not apologising for cancelling the game. He believed he was not in the wrong, He was also a year older than me and like I said before, immature. Therefore he was brainrotted. I despise him to this day for all of that. a year older than me and his girlfriend and he acts like this?
Anyway, it lasted long, to the point Leia steps in simply saying "this has gone on for too long, therefore I am going to point out the problems."
He gets 2 sentences of pointing out what I have said, he shouldn't have cancelled the idea last millisecond. She calls him "baby" I get thats his nickname, but you're babying him... No? And I get 2 paragraphs for 'dragging it on' and what I had done wrong.
Now I'm practically pissed, shes not on my side because I'm dragging the situation on valentines day in this predicament and now this? and she babied him cause thats a nickname. Thanks.
Moving on, it went back and forth. I told her I am not mad at her, she was panicking I was mad and furious at her, I pointed out numerous times I am not. I am mad at her boyfriend. Yet she has a panic attack and he begs me to be his friend still numerous times.
Did I know about the panic attack at the time? No. she never told me till a week later. So I thought he was being a creep, I still wouldn't of accepted his 'deal' to be friends (exactly how he worded it) because im not dealing with an immature boy who cannot say sorry when even his girlfriend knows he was in a wrong, 2 sentences or not.
I ended it by unfriending him and leaving the group. That is practically how it all went down.
I hate how she picked his side, couple or not, I know her more by an extra 2 years. and im not online. So if it all went downhill, I am closest and also her parents dont know him and also against online friends. Make it make sense...!
Am I the problem in this predicament?
Stories in the same category
Points of view
It sounds like a really frustrating situation. It's tough when friendships get tangled up in drama, especially with someone you were all initially friends with. The way he handled those situations seems pretty inconsiderate, and it's understandable why you'd feel sidelined. Online dynamics can become complicated, especially when emotions are involved; it sometimes feels like common courtesy takes a back seat. Hopefully, things can settle down without straining your friendship further with Leia.
Kinda seems like there's a clash of expectations happening here; the boyfriend sounds pretty inconsiderate by flaking last minute, and it's definitely understandable why you might feel sidelined. But also, maybe Leia's stuck in the middle and trying to balance her relationship with her friendship... not easy! It's messy when lines blur between friends and partners, especially online! Hope things chill out between everyone without more drama.
honestly i totally get what ur saying. i've had a similar situation w my bestie too when her online bf was acting all possessive over stuff like that. she'd always be on call with him and it felt like i was just some side character in her life. one time we were supposed to hang out irl n play games but she bailed last minute for him. it's so frustrating dealing with these immature guys sometimes!
no she does that, she says shes busy or she says "sorry I was busy" but u were on call with him all day? she says shes busy with something else as if I cant possibly see. and it is frustrating lol!
maybe they just need space? idk...
man, that's a rough situation all around. it's crazy how sometimes people just don't see things from your perspective and you're left feeling like the odd one out. i totally get why you'd be mad, especially with leia taking his side when she knows you better. online dynamics can get tricky, but it sounds like you've tried to handle it as best as you could. maybe distancing yourself was the right move for now, so you don't have to deal with that drama anymore 🤷♂️
Man, it really seems like your friend's boyfriend doesn't know how to handle things maturely. 🙄 Cancelling plans like that last second is not cool at all. And getting hammered with paragraphs when he's the one who screwed up? Frustrating doesn't even cover it! It's wild she didn't have your back more, considering you’ve known her longer and her family would be on your side if push came to shove; makes no sense. You deserve better than being caught in the middle of their drama and having to constantly explain yourself. Keep doing you; sounds like Leia needs to figure out some loyalty priorities for real.
yeah uh i kinda agree tho u might wanna give them some space sometimes people act weirdly bc of pressure or stress its not always about you personally
Honestly, it seems like you're caught in an unnecessary whirlwind of drama with your friend's boyfriend. From what you've explained, he's acting rather immaturely for someone supposedly older, and it's completely reasonable to feel frustrated by his actions. The fact that he couldn't even bother to inform you earlier about canceling plans just shows a lack of respect for your time! Perhaps it's time to establish some boundaries with Leia; after all, friendships should be more reliable than being subjected to someone else's whimsy.
mabey try talkin face2face.
man, it sounds like a mess; i once had a friend who was all about her guy from another country too. she slowly drifted away and it kinda sucked. 🤷♀️ it's wild how relationships can shift like that, especially with online stuff where things are more intense. the dude seems to have his priorities mixed up, not respecting plans... maybe leia isn't seeing the whole picture because of their connection? hang in there and maybe things'll smooth out; fingers crossed!
Sounds like a tough spot to be caught in, especially when it seems like your patience and kindness are being taken for granted.
wow, this sounds familiar. my friend once ditched me last minute too after we'd planned a movie night because her bf suddenly wanted to do something else. it's like your time doesn't matter as much to them, feels unfair especially when you're the one whose been there longer.
ugh same here! why do they do this?
Man, I dunno... it feels like you're stuck in a real-life episode of "Friends," but without the laugh track to lighten things up. 😅 It's kind of strange how quickly friendships can hit turbulence when a new romantic interest comes into play. I've had my share of similar experiences where you think you know someone well, and then suddenly they start prioritizing someone else who couldn't even say sorry for bailing last minute! Maybe Leia's just trying to juggle too many balls at once (friendship and romance), but it ain't fair when you're the one left holding the bag. Honestly, good on you for not putting up with that nonsense anymore. Sometimes it's better to cut ties than stay tangled in all that drama.
Sounds like this whole thing's blown way out of proportion. Maybe there's just a big misunderstanding here, and emotions are clouding everything for everyone involved. Online stuff brings weird dynamics, and maybe that’s just the nature of juggling relationships in real life versus virtual; Hopefully, you don't let this mess sway your future interactions with Leia too much.
sounds exhausting but... i dunno :)
You know, I think part of the problem might be that everyone involved is prioritizing their own needs without really considering others'; it's like your friend's boyfriend is only thinking about how he feels in the moment and not understanding how his actions affect you or even Leia. But at the same time, Leia seems torn between her relationship obligations and her friendship with you, which is understandably a tough spot to be in. It still kinda sucks honestly because it sounds like she could do more to bridge the gap rather than just passively stepping back and letting things escalate. Maybe if you all sat down (virtually) and laid out some ground rules for communication or interaction when gaming, it would help minimize these kinds of conflicts in the future 🤔? At least then it'd be clear what's expected from everyone and avoid misunderstandings.
sounds like a messy sitch, but maybe it's worth looking at things from leia's perspective too. she might feel caught between you and her bf, not knowing how to handle it all. relationships can be intense, especially when they're long-distance and reliant on tech. doesn't excuse the bf's behavior though; he should've been straight up about timing instead of flaking last minute. might be helpful to chill for now and let her come around when she's ready, while setting your own boundaries; don't let their drama drag you down too much!
i kinda see how leia could feel caught in the middle though. maybe she's trying to balance things without upsetting anyone but yeah it does seem like she's siding with him too much.
Sounds like a tough spot to be in! I think what makes this situation even more difficult is the feeling that your friendship history with Leia isn’t being valued as much as it should be. Online relationships can definitely complicate things, and sometimes people get so caught up in their virtual bubble they forget about the bonds they've had for years. It might just take some time for her to realize how important your friendship really is; maybe once she sees past these intense emotions, she'll come around. In situations like these, patience is a virtue and by holding onto your other friendships, it might help ease things while you wait it out.