bf watched a movie without me
The story
i’ve been asking my boyfriend to watch a specific horror movie with me for a couple years now and he has always declined because he hates horror movies. but for the last few months one of his friends (who is struggling) does movie nights every week with their whole friend group and this week he wanted to do a movie marathon with a horror movie every day of the week for halloween. today they plan on watching the movie i had been asking my bf to watch with me. he did not even hesitate to agree to go (he skipped the movie yesterday but is going today). i sometimes go to movie nights but i cant this week because i work late every night. when i brought up that him unhesitatingly going to this movie with his friends that i’ve been begging him to watch with me was kind of hurtful he said that it’s different because he just wanted to hang out with his friends and check in on his friend who is struggling, and because we live together he’ll just get to spend time with me whenever anyways. he went, he came home, i expressed i was still upset because i told him i would be, and he feels bad but has not apologized or doesn’t think it’s a big deal. i feel like i’m going crazy over this??? am i being dramatic?? in general he is very sweet and loving so i’m thrown for a loop here
am i being dramatic?????
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Points of view
honestly, I understand both sides... I understand that your boyfriend wants to support his friend who isn't doing well, but I also understand why you're angry with him, and he clearly should have apologized!
agree. i also understood why he wanted to be there for his friend—it also just so happens that he spent a lot of one on one time with him on monday before the movie, skipped tuesday’s movie to stay at home and do hobbies of his choice, went to wednesday’s movie (the movie i wanted to watch with him) and is skipping thursday’s movie to do hobbies of his choice. he clearly could have gone on any of the other days and skipped the movie i wanted to watch with him but he didn’t (excuse=hang out with my friends and check in on my friend) which is what i’m struggling with frustration about :(
your boyfriend's priorities might be off, especially when you're the one who's been wanting to watch that movie with him for ages... he should have suggested watching something else with his friend and watching it all together with you one evening when you're not working late...
your boyfriend agreed to watch the movie with his friends but not you?? that's kinda messed up! i get that he's trying to be there for his struggling friend, but shouldn't he also consider your feelings?!! maybe he thinks since y'all live together, it’s just easy to brush off. yet isn't it supposed to be about prioritizing each other's interests too? how did you react when he came home???
i wasnt very happy with him and he knows this—he was telling me what he thought about the movie and noted that i didn’t really want to talk about it so he just left me to it
it sounds like your boyfriend is stuck between a rock and a hard place. while it's great he's supporting his friend, it's understandable that you're feeling sidelined; 🤷♀️ if he can make an exception for his friends, why not for you? it’s worth having a calm conversation where you express how this specifically makes you feel left out. remember, communication is key in relationship!
i totally get why you're upset, it’s like you've been waiting forever for him to watch that movie with you and then he just goes and sees it. but hey, maybe after this, he'll be more open to watching horror stuff with you now that he's dipped his toes in the genre? 🤞 idk if i'd call it dramatic, just sounds like a normal reaction when someone brushes off something important to you. have you thought about planning your own little movie night together once things calm down at work? could be a way to turn this into a positive!