Why can’t I fall in love like everyone else
The story
I guess I’ve always been out of place since I was like a kid,like from 1st grade(I’m 18 now btw) I was littering an outcast cause I could only speak English yeah imagine.Now it’s 6th grade and everyone suddenly has a crush and there I am being all confused and weirded out by love in general which made me feel more out of place and to try and fit in I just pointed at a random guy from the next class during lunch break and said that he was my crush (I’m so dumb for that).
Anyways high school rolls in and everyone is dating left right and center well except me-maybe because I was a chopped ahh with a buzz cut-and like every other girl had long hair except me(side plot:I was very gender dysmorphic at that time so I cut my hair and told people to address me by they/them).Everytime someone would ask me why I didn’t like anyone I just said I didn’t because duh I don’t,so someone started a rumor that I was lesbian which made me a target for a lot of homophobic remarks and when I confronted the person who spread the rumors so they stopped and then proceeded to say I was trans mtf which was out of pocket and I then had to confront them again😭(Promise this leads some where and I’m an ally yallz )Anyways this made me realize that this was all because I didn’t have a boyfriend and wasn’t interested in having one at all and I genuinely thought it was a skill issue or I was just emo🥲.I then started talking to ‘Josh’ which was actually pretty fun cuz he was a nice and friendly person and we had a lot in common but I didn’t feel what you are supposed to feel when you love someone I guess,so I just kinda ghosted him after like a year and guess what a new girl comes and 2 weeks in to them talking they are dating 💀🔫.Like okay so clearly the problem is me right.
At 15,I became friends with a guy from my church,’Kyle’.So he was literally the only friend I had since most of my friends and moved out of town and he was literally the only person who talked to me.I never really thought to much about the idea of us being together cuz we were just church buddies until we started hanging out more and my brother noticed and started shipping us which annoyed the hell out of me.Kyle then started flirting with me and I obviously was blatant about it and flirted back thinking it was a joke and long story short he asked me to be his girlfriend (over text💀) and I said yes-but I felt guilty about it because I didn’t see him in that way so I kinda had to put some emotional distance between us cuz I felt like a horrible person.
So yeah he broke up with me 3 weeks later saying that God spoke to him 🥲 (over text) and I wasn’t upset it felt like when you see a funny TikTok and before you save it your FYP refreshes….okay maybe I am the problem.So I tried doing my own research to find out why I’m like this and apparently I might be AROACE,which means I experience little to no sexual and romantic attraction to anyone,which is soo gut crushing for me cuz if it is true does it mean that I will never fall in love 😭😭😭Like dude I want to get butterflies and feel heartbroken,like why am I like this it’s the biggest whomp in the world my life.This is like a basic human experience and I just can’t have it.I like to see love like I genuinely do enjoy 2000s romcom unironically okay shot me.But at the back of my mind I think I just have this deep feeling that I can’t love myself enough to love someone else like I don’t have love to give and I just repress my emotions…..So yeah any form of advice would help🥀
Stories in the same category
Points of view
That's a lot to process, for sure. But honestly, it's okay not to fit into the typical love story mold!! There's no rush or rulebook that says you have to experience romance a certain way at a certain time. If being aroace feels like it fits, then embrace that about yourself! You don't need to force feelings just because others expect it. Who knows what the future holds? Just focus on doing you and see where life takes you.
You are totally right I should just focus on myself and you made me realize that I shouldn’t force feelings that aren’t there to please people.Thank you✨
man i knw dat feeeling, back in 3rd grade i pretended to like someone too lol.
Same!!! Love is confusing.
nahhh dude maybe you just not met the right person yet, dont stress so much about it tho. ppl find love at different times an thas okay ya know.
Yeah, I agree people should take their own pace.
Thank you guys maybe I’m just rushing things✨
whats being AROACE?!
It’s basically being Asexual (having little to no sexual attraction to anyone) and Aromatic (having little to romantic attraction to anyone).So it’s a combination of both-were someone doesn’t feel the same attraction as most people will-it’s almost like if everyone likes to eat cake and you just don’t have the craving for cake…I hope I explained it well enough for you
Wow, sounds like you've been through a lot! First off, being AROACE isn't a bad thing, you know!? 🤔 It just means you're more unique than most and that's kinda cool. And come on, love isn't the same for everyone. You don't have to follow some cookie-cutter version of it from those 2000s romcoms;
Sometimes people experience these things later in life or in unexpected ways. Who knows what the future holds - keep an open mind and let things unfold naturally.
Yeah love isn’t the same for everyone✨
Why are people so obsessed with fitting into some kind of relationship box? 🤨 Like, not feeling romantic or sexual attraction isn't the end of the world. It's just different wiring. Who cares about silly rumors when you can be living your own truth! If others can't respect that, they aren't worth stressing over. Your feelings are legit and anyone trying to label you because you're not traditional needs to get a grip. Go live life how you want! 👐
Ohhh my daysss thank youuu.This was actually so helpful you’re right I should stop letting people’s opinions affect me✨
honestly i think its okay that youre not into anyone right now. you shouldnt feel pressured to conform to what others around you are doing. its your life and you're still young there is plenty of time for figuring these things out. have you ever considered talking to a therapist or counselor? sometimes having a neutral person to talk to can help sort through all of this.
I never thought of actually talking to someone about..thank you✨
Man, I totally get where you're coming from; it's like everyone else is speaking a language you're not fluent in or something. Feeling out of step with stuff like crushes and dating can be really isolating, but honestly, there's no "one size fits all" when it comes to love (or life, for that matter). I once pretended to have a crush just to fit in, and looking back, I laugh at how ridiculous it was. Anyway, self-discovery is a journey and learning about being aroace might be tough initially, but try viewing it as an opportunity to understand yourself better. At the end of the day, your path doesn't have to mirror anyone else's... you can write your own script!
Dude, it's totally normal to feel out of place when everyone else seems to be having these "normal" experiences; you're not alone in that! It sucks how people can't just chill and have to start rumors about stuff they don't understand. I had a similar vibe with my friend group where suddenly dating was all anyone cared about, and there I was feeling like an alien because it wasn't clicking for me either!!! It's such a relief you found a term like aroace that might resonate?? Gives some clarity I guess; but listen, life is way more than crushes and romcoms 😉 You'll find your own way through all this chaos!!
my cousin never liked anyone till she was over 30!
Wow, sounds like you've been on quite a journey with all this identity stuff and figuring out where you fit in. I mean, the whole "God spoke to him" over text thing is kind of wild, right?? 😂 Seriously though, discovering you're aroace can be both enlightening and kinda frustrating at the same time. You don't have to conform to societal norms about relationships; there's no one-size-fits-all when it comes to love or attraction! Just because you might not experience romance like others doesn't mean you're missing out on life. As they say, "to thine own self be true." 😊
Maybe you're putting too much pressure on yourself.
sometimes i feel like there's this whole expectation that everyone has the same experiences when it comes to love but really it's different for everyone. like, not feeling butterflies doesnt make you broken or anything. maybe it's more about finding acceptance and being okay with who we are without comparing ourselves too much to others. just some thoughts haha.
It's rough feeling like you're missing out on something that's supposed to be a "universal" experience, but honestly, who decided what's normal anyway?
Back in middle school, I tried to blend in by saying I had a crush on someone random too! It’s wild how much pressure there is to fit into these supposed "norms." But over time, I realized something interesting: everyone moves through life at their own pace. Not feeling those things doesn’t mean you’re broken; it just means you might be discovering yourself differently than others. Embracing who you are now is more important than ticking off some societal checklist.
Sounds dramatic honestly.
Did you ever talk about this with Kyle? Sometimes a genuine conversation might reveal more than text can.
wild how society makes us feel like we need to fit in with these set narratives when it comes to love and relationships, isn’t it??? seems like there's a lot of pressure to experience emotions that are marketed as universal. i think what's important is staying true to yourself and going at your own pace. you ever think about exploring more about aroace stuff? might give you some insights into your feelings. also, have you considered why there might be this deep feeling of not being able to love yourself enough to love others? wonder if it's linked somehow 🤔