I’m the type of woman that won’t admit to wanting a relationship. I won’t admit to feelings for someone, I won’t let anyone know that I’m dating someone or am going on a date with someone.

I try to keep myself on the down low, I keep my walls up, I try to at least. I am presentable, I clean up very well, and I change how I am all the time to be at a man’s level. Yet, I never make it past the second date. I never reach a third.

I constantly ask myself “What’s wrong with me?”. When I get told that they don’t want to see me again, or I get ghosted, or I get told they don’t want a relationship with me; it breaks my heart over and over. Yet, again, I still get up and try.

I hear,” I’m sorry. He just wasn’t the one.” Or “he’s an asshole.” Or “screw men, they suck”. These are the people that have relationships, these are the people that has had multiple relationships, etc…

I don’t understand. What am I doing so wrong? Either I’m too much, not enough, or just “not right”. If this continues until I’m 40; I quit life.

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