no romantic/sexual experiences at 23
The story
I’m 23f and I’ve never had any sexual or romantic experience (no holding hands or talking stage). It just never happened for me. Most of my life I didn’t really care or pay attention to it, but it’s like I “woke up” about two or three years ago and looked around and realised I’m so behind everyone else my age. Since then I’ve been trying and failing to do something about it and it’s been affecting my mental health really badly. I can be pretty socially anxious but I’ve been trying to work on that. I’ve been trying to go out more and meet new people, but every time I’ve approached a guy I’ve been rejected. I know that happens and maybe I’ve just had bad luck, but it really messed with my self-esteem as well. I’m not particularly attractive but I try to work with what I have. All that affected my mental health really badly and turned my inexperience into a massive insecurity, making me embarrassed and feel that it’s “too late” now. I see it as a proof that no one found me desirable before. It’s gotten so bad I’m even avoiding my friends now because I feel like I’m so much worse than them. Now I’m worried that even if I do find someone I could get along with, he’s going to be weirded out and turn me down because of it.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
first, don't stress too much about the timeline; everyone's journey is different, and there's no set age for things like romance!
maybe you're focusing too much on what others are doing and not enough on what makes you happy? ever thought about joining clubs or groups where you can meet people with similar interests? it could be a nice way to connect without pressure. social anxiety can really make things tough, but yeah you're already working on it, and that's awesome 👍 running into rejection sucks, but it's normal for everyone; keep pushing forward, and don't let a few setbacks define your worth. you never know when or where you'll meet someone great. never give up on building your confidence and self-esteem; that's the real key to attracting good people into your life. stay positive, and remember everyone is dealing with their own stuff! ❤️
society puts SO MUCH pressure on us to hit certain milestones by a certain age!!!! it's honestly ridiculous. you're definitely not alone in feeling behind. it's perfectly okay to have no romantic experience at your age. seriously, who decided there's a deadline for this stuff?? keep doing your thing and working on your social skills; that's what counts. rejection is tough, but it happens to everyone. it's a normal part of life!!!! your value isn’t determined by someone else’s opinion. hang tight, and know that it will get better. don’t let anyone make you feel "less-than" because of this. you’re doing just fine for real.
i hear you, but it feels like you're putting way too much pressure on yourself 🤔. like, everyone’s path is different, and not having romantic experience by 23 might seem unusual, but it’s not the end of the world, right? maybe the issue isn't about being "behind" but about how you're seeing yourself compared to others. social anxiety is a tough nut to crack, but it sounds like you're already making strides by getting out there; sometimes bad luck just happens, and rejection is a part of the game. i really wouldn't worry too much about being inexperienced—lots of people out there appreciate authenticity more than some checklist of past experiences 😅. try to focus more on building your confidence and less on what others think. in the wise words of someone somewhere, "comparison is the thief of joy"...
i get your frustration, but it seems like there's a narrative bias at play here. you're equating your personal timeline with others’, but remember, "individual differences" are key. most development psychologists will tell you that maturity and relationships don't have a set age. social anxiety can amplify negative self-assessment; your current approach may need a reframe. rejection can be perceived as "negative external validation," but it's also an opportunity for growth. focusing too much on perceived deficits might result in "self-fulfilling prophecies." try redirecting that energy towards self-improvement rather than self-critique. people value "authentic self-concept" more than past experiences in a relationship. keep your chin up, it is never too late to rewrite your narrative.