too many thoughts,,.,
The story
my thoughts are all so scrambled and i dont have any friends to talk to and i really just need to get all this off my chest. my girlfriend and i were dating for 8 months, we recently just hit 8 months, and i find out that she has been cheating on me with random strangers online for like 3 months now. straight up just flirting with whatever girl dms her. while im over here planning many things for us and for our future. i feel so stupid because i trusted her so much, there were no signs of it either (i think). we spent lots of time together, while also not suffocating each other, we never got into conflicts and if either one of us were to get upset, we'd talk it out really well. we just clicked, you know? and even through those 3 months she acted the same, loving way she always was with me. i found out about this literally two days ago, where i confronted her and we ended things. i went to her thinking i was going to be strong about it and that i was going to cut contact for both of our sakes, but i guess my self respect just went out the window the second i texted her !! because im not ready to let her go at all and i even told her that i was willing to forgive her actions if she were to just send me a text saying "i will change for the better" but she made it clear that she didnt want anything serious in the first place so i just told her that i agreed itd be better to end the relationship. but god. i seriously cannot let her go. i told her that i wouldnt cut contact and that she can talk to me if she ever felt like it, that i'd be there. well now she sends me like 2 messages every like, 4/5 hours ?? and it honestly makes me so sad. and i know that i shouldnt feel sad because we've parted ways now and we're not dating and the reason we're not dating anymore is because she cheated and UGHHH!!!!#$*(@. i dont want to be an annoying, clingy ex. i really dont. we're not together anymore and i need to respect that, but i just care so much about her. i want to know about how her day went, i want to listen to her rant about stupid work moments, i want to know whenever she's feeling down and i want to hear her excitement over whatever nerdy things she likes. i really loved her, this hurts. my nervous system was never the best, im an anxious person and whenever things worry me or something, my heart rate immediately gets so fast and it lasts for a while before i can calm down. after confronting her about all that, i tried to sleep it off because she wasnt answering me, and my heart rate was at 130-150 for about 3 hours even though i was at rest. i managed to calm it down but it still starts racing out of nowhere and it makes me very lightheaded and my chest starts to hurt. the whole finding out she was cheating thing is definately what triggered this dumb heart thing and ive had to constantly do many things to make sure that my heart rate stays normal because it's gotten to the point in other occurances where it'll reach the 200s, my mom has been checking it multiple times a day. this is exhausting and im so tired, last night i kept waking up every few hours because i would suddenly wake up short of breath and my heart racing. i hate that i have to deal with this bs now. im also starting college in august, and i need to learn how to drive by the end of this month (i know nothing about how to drive!!!!!) and i also need to find a job and i have no friends and uhgdshj, im just so sad. im so sad and so angry. im so angry at myself and the world. i already deal with depression and this is just, a lot to deal with right now. i feel like i dont have any space to properly process anything, especially the whole breakup thing. everything is happening so fast. i feel so sad and confused and angry and conflicted, just so many ugly emotions at once. i try not to let these things get to me because i do want to live and i do want a future for myself, but i just feel so alone right now. im so tired of everything. im sorry this rant is long and messy i just really needed to let it out.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
Man, that sucks big time. It's completely normal to feel like a wreck after all this mess. Eight months isn't nothing, you had real plans and dreams with her; it’s so tough when reality just flips on you like this. Look, it's okay not to have all the answers right now or even be ready to let go. Your body's reacting like crazy because it's doing its best to cope with everything happening at once. You're juggling so much and it's understandable you're feeling overwhelmed as hell. Maybe focus on one thing at a time? You got college coming up, new people to meet maybe even some fresh starts. Hang in there and take it day by day.
wtf why r u still hanging on her she clearly moved on like whats keeping u attached?? it sounds crazy
Man, that sounds like a total rollercoaster (and not the fun kind). It's wild how someone can just flip the script and completely blindside you. Seriously, though, props to you for having the guts to try and have an honest conversation with her, even when your heart rate's making you feel like you're running a marathon from your bed! 😅 I've been in a similar situation where I kept wanting to check up on my ex long after we split... it's so hard letting go of that connection. But hey, focus on those little victories each day: learning to drive or starting college might be stressful as heck now, but think about the independence it'll bring. Hang in there; it gets easier bit by bit.
I get that it's super hard when you're in love, but maybe she just wasn’t as invested. So I wouldn’t really let this define you or stick around, okay? Also, why would she be stringing along online randoms and act totally normal with you? Sounds a bit unbelievable. You know what I mean? Focus on the positives you have going for you. There’s college coming up and new beginnings right around the corner!
Bro, it's completely understandable why you're feeling all over the place!!
Your situation sounds incredibly chaotic, especially as you're dealing with betrayal while gearing up for big life changes like college and a job 😂.
It sounds like you're making a lot of excuses to stay connected with someone who doesn't want a serious relationship at all. It might be time to stop wasting your energy on someone who isn't reciprocating your feelings and move forward with things that matter more now.
Absolutely! It's hard but necessary...
A similar thing happened to me once and boy, was it a whirlwind. Just when I thought everything was perfect, bam... reality check! It's rough when plans you thought were rock-solid crumble so suddenly. Do you have any hobbies or interests that help distract you from the chaos? Sometimes shifting focus, even just for a little while, can make a huge difference in managing those racing thoughts.
damn, what a tough situation to be in. it’s like you’re navigating a minefield of emotions with the heart rate spikes and all the life changes on top of everything else. having your trust shattered is such a gut punch, especially when there weren't any obvious red flags; it makes it hard to know what to believe anymore. but it's good you're recognizing that balance between needing space to heal and still feeling those lingering ties. you've got so much on your plate right now with college, driving, and finding a job (that alone sounds stressful). maybe cutting yourself some slack amidst all this chaos could help a bit? give yourself permission to feel whatever comes up without needing to fix it immediately. sometimes processing takes time and that's okay too.
yeah, i went through something similar too. sometimes people just don't care about how their actions affect us, and it sucks so much. focus on taking care of yourself.
Dude, sounds like you're being so hard on yourself when it's totally okay to feel this way after something so crappy happens; cheating cuts deep and messes with your sense of trust big time, but man, don't let her messages keep reopening those wounds because it's like ripping a bandaid off every time.
damn, dude, that’s a rough spot to be in. sifting through all those feelings while dealing with other life changes is a lot to handle. it's like you're on emotional overload; everything's just hitting you at once. nobody can blame you for wanting to hold on to someone who was such a big part of your life, but maybe this is a chance to focus on what *you* need right now? maybe channel some of that energy into new stuff like starting college or learning to drive. small steps might help lighten the load bit by bit.
I'm wondering if you've considered exploring ways others cope with such anxiety? Sometimes different methods like meditation help calm those sudden spikes in heart rate and might allow some peace in dealing with all this chaos. Have you looked into anything like that before?
Dude, it sounds like you're dealing with a whole mess of emotions and it's no wonder given the situation. But honestly, I think putting so much faith in her to suddenly change when she didn't show any signs before...it's kind of naive, you know? 😬 Trust me, I’ve been there too; hoping people would just turn over a new leaf because we wanted it bad enough. Trying to stay attached when she plainly moved on though...it'll only drag you deeper down that rabbit hole of anxiety and heartache you’re already feeling. Remember how they say "actions speak louder than words"?
Wow, emotions can be exhausting. Relationships can feel so up in the air sometimes. But honestly... did she ever seem distant or was it all out of nowhere?
Does she REALLY deserve another chance?..
sounds like you're feeling overwhelmed, and it's understandable with everything piling up on you. i think it's important to remember that taking time for yourself isn't selfish. maybe stepping back from contact could give you the space needed to heal a bit and figure out what you need before diving into college and other responsibilities. navigating this storm will be tough but you're not alone in going through such hard times. focus on what makes you feel even a little bit better each day, no matter how small 🕒