Toxic Relationship

I need a point of view from a guy, me and my ex were off and on for over a year, we saw other people in between because we broke up, from my view I was there and he never was, I texted him a lot, he told me to get snapchat cause it would be easier, which made no sense lol, I did, I didn't tell him, things were already feeling off again. Very off. We did things together teenage couples do..he ghosted me the first time but then he said it was because he was busy, and I believed that, he has a farm and has to keep his animals alive and a family business or something like that. He said he loved me and that he was sorry and I took him back because I believed it was the right thing to do and I know people make mistake, so I took him back, I was already attached. I told him I was clingy and he knew. He is country and there is a thing about country guys and their grandpas dying, he died, and before he died things were great. when I was sick he would ask if I needed anything, like food, and said he would bring it over, I wouldn't let him do that, we had "I love you" wars. But when his grandpa died he started drinking and not doing great things and started to distance himself from me even more, I felt hurt and I wanted to talk to him about it, I rarely saw him, so I did it over text, of course, it was hours of being on delivered. I told him it didn't feel like he loved me anymore and that I just wanted time with him, he said he was too busy, nothing about not loving me anymore, which I thought I was fishy. I would give random I love yous because if I were him that is what I would do but I am not him and I don't know what I did it, most of the time he would leave it onread or on delivered and at night I would tell him goodnight and just like that, "goodnight." no "Hey baby I am sorry I have been busy all day, I am sorry if you felt like I didn't want you." He never said that I would like his goodnight message and say "So no I love you back? Is something up?" He would say something like, "Didn't see it." "Love u too." It was like he wasn't even trying. I was giving up my parents trust, they said he was bad news, I didn't listen because I was madly in love with him. We fought more than we saw each other, all the time over text. There was one time he said he couldn't do us anymore because he wanted a girl he could actually go out with ( Originally my parents said no because they didn't like him, they warmed up to him and finally told me it was fine) There were so many time I told him this so I brought it up again when we were fighting over text and he said " Oh I didn't know" Maybe it was because every time we hung out he just wanted to get to know my body more and more, he had already seen every part, we had done everything already. S I brought up him only seeming to care about my body and he would always dismiss it and say " I think if this is how it is we should break up or take a break." He never wanted to talk things out. And yet, he said he didn't want my body, but what did he do in person? Me. I let it drag on because I loved thins boy and he made me feel loved and special. What goes on in guys heads? Thinking that everything is fine when it isn't? Dismissing that you only want a body, no feelings attached? He said we werent f around buddies, but to me, it felt that way. We continued to do it over and over, each other and this toxic relationship. We would hang around in his truck and I could tell something was off, one time there was a hair tie that wasn't mine in his truck, I did see him with his mom the night before and they went out in his truck, but my observant self saw that his mom's hair was down, it wasn't pulled back, I was still outside when they came home, her hair was up, but she never got into his truck again. We had been sharing locations with each other and then he turned it off the next day and I knew something was up, I questioned it when I was in that truck with him and all we came to, was nothing, he said "No" when I asked him and started kissing me. I tried to shake it, I knew something wasn't right, he probably doesn't even remember it. I miss him, who he was before his grandpa died, he was my everything and then he became such a ( Insert your word here). It continued to be touch and go, I could tell he knew something was up with me but never even asked. He always expected me t be the one to ask to go out and when I did he said he didn't have time because he was busy or because he didn't want to and then I told him then he better not ever say I didn't try, which he did. I need a aview from a guy on this, we would have such a fun and loving time, then he would ghost after something major, like the deed, happened in our life. He texted me and said I should keep it in the past and that it doesn't matter anymore and that he was happy. I miss him. He got me into trouble at school so know I am suspended and could even get expelled at this point. Did I do something wrong? Why do guys do this? There is so much more I could ask and say but I have been ranting too much and I just need help.

Should I DM and telling him how I feel and ask for us back?

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