Clearing Out Clutter: A Sibling Storage Saga
The story
When I first settled into the place next door to my elder brother, Thomas, and his wife, I felt pretty comfortable. Thomas has always been keen on mechanics and was thrilled about the spacious four-stall garage on my new property, plus the snug two-stall attachment to the house. From the beginning, it seemed my family assumed I wouldn't require all this space. Thomas started using the front garage right away, and initially, I didn't mind.
As time went by, Thomas brought over more of his belongings. Despite having ample storage on his own property including a garage and two sheds, my space started filling up. I tried to overlook this; after all, I hadn’t needed the extra space, upholding a 'don't sweat the small stuff' attitude. However, within a year, not only my back garage but also my front garage and basement began accumulating Thomas' stuff.
The clutter didn’t truly bother me until my boyfriend, Jake, moved in. Jake was quick to point out the inconvenience posed by the overflowing storage, particularly as he contemplated buying a boat or camper which we'd have nowhere to store. Gradually, I realized this arrangement might be inadvertently encouraging Thomas's hoarding tendencies, especially since I was beginning to declutter my own possessions.
Just last week, Thomas showed up intending to store two more boxes in my attic. Seeing that I’m trying to minimize clutter throughout my house, I stood my ground and refused. While Thomas seemed to take it well, the real extent of how he felt became apparent shortly after.
This weekend, Jake and I returned home to find Thomas clearing out his stored items from my back garage, preparing to place them into newly purchased sheds. His actions felt sudden and emotional, although he insisted he was fine. But after some insistance, his wife revealed that my refusal to accept the attic boxes upset him to the extent that he decided to withdraw all his belongings from my property.
Talking to Thomas' wife and my own family shed more light on their perspectives; they all seemed to empathize with Thomas more than with me. My mom, despite recently decluttering herself, and even our mutual friends sided with him, which makes me question what version of the story they've heard. Jake, thankfully, supports me, recognizing the importance of establishing clear boundaries.
The whole situation leaves me frustrated. I hate causing distress to my brother, but at the same time, I am relieved his stuff is finally being cleared out. I feel a mix of guilt for drawing these boundaries, as it's natural for me to try to please others, but I'm exasperated that everyone but Jake views me negatively for it.
I wonder how this family drama would play out if it was under the scrutiny of reality TV cameras. Would the audience see me as being unreasonable or would they empathize with my plight for personal space? Reality TV tends to dramatize conflicts, so perhaps my stance might either be seen as a heroic stand for personal boundaries or painted as overly harsh and insensitive.

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Points of view
gotta say, I think you're being kinda unreasonable here 😕. like the saying goes, "family comes first," right? it's not a big deal if Thomas wants to store some things; he's your brother. chucking him out just ‘cause your bf wants space for a boat or camper seems a bit harsh. anyway, isn't it better to help family out when you can? you might regret this later on. 🤷♀️
i understand your perspective but it seems like both you and Thomas could handle this better 🧐
communication appears to be lacking on both sides... this isn't just about storage space it's about respecting each other's boundaries
i understand your perspective but it appears there might be a better way to handle this situation 🧐
effective communication seems to be the missing piece here...
yeah I get it completely!!! i've had similar issues with my own family hogging my space; honestly feels like they sometimes see it as their own. family dynamics can be tricky, especially when it comes to stuff and boundaries. your brother seems to be taking advantage of your space just because he can, which isn't fair to you. it's good you finally stood your ground especially if it's gonna cause issues for you and your boyfriend. sometimes people forget that having boundaries is important even with family. keep on doing what's best for you and your space, it's not easy but it's necessary 😊
totally get you, it's super frustrating when family assumes your space is just an extension of theirs 😤 had a similar thing with my sister dumping her stuff in my spare room, it’s like they don’t get that personal space is a thing! your brother should definitely respect your boundaries and stop hoarding his junk on your property; it’s your space and if it’s making life with Jake difficult, then he needs to step back. sure, it’s tough to put your foot down with family, but if you don't set clear limits, they just keep pushing. doesn’t mean you’re being unreasonable at all; you're just trying to declutter and use your own area as you see fit. more power to you for standing up for yourself! 🏠🙌
seriously, i hear you on this one!!!! my brother once pulled the same stunt, turning my garage into his personal storage unit, ugh; it's like they think just 'cause we're family they get a free pass to dump their clutter. you’ve every right to want your own space back, especially with Jake moving in and future potential plans. that moment you realize "enough is enough" really hits hard. family should back you up, but sometimes they just don’t see the impact it has???? standing your ground can be tough but it's essential for your peace of mind. you’re definitely not in the wrong for setting boundaries; we all have a limit before the space stops feeling like our own!!! more power to you for tackling it head on even if everyone else doesn't get it.