Just wanna express what I feel rather than be a burden :)
The story
Hi? To be honest I am not doing well but people around me thinks I am haha. It’s just hard to express what I feel when all my life I feel like my feelings were always invalidated or I feel like I am being a burden. My family is really going through it all right now and it fucking hurts. I just gradually escaped my academic pressure and self validation but this is whats happening like another problem gosh. I thought after all the hell I been through with me and my self validation like I thought I would get better but no. Having a physically absent father and physically absent mother who is emotionally unstable is not for the weak. I still talk to my Mom but she doesn’t know that it pains me a lot knowing that they’re all in a different family now haha. Like what about me? But I understand, I always understand haha. I have been through hell since I was a kid, like my asthma condition was so worst that I almost died. It really pains me because I took care of myself growing up, always pleasing everyone to get the validation I needed, to feel loved. I just wanted to feel loved by my parents that’s all haha. I raised myself, I was a middle child but I was the one who raised us. Why you asking? Because I was always the one who knows about our family problems, always needing to be the mature one. Like can’t I be a kid and run free? Haha. I was pushed into something I didn’t want bruh, I just wanna be a kid too. All the favoritism is crazy. I am still living but a part of me already died. Seeing people commit suicide especially the influencer I love because she’s literally the reason why I loved my tanned skin, it literally triggered something in me. And it hurts, ’cause I am always so close of doing it just for the pain to end. It really hurts y’all but I don’t wanna be selfish but all I needed was my parents, I didn’t wanna be like this.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
oh mate, life's got its foot up your ass, huh? feels like you're juggling flaming chainsaws while everyone thinks it's a circus act. but honestly, all this 'understanding' you've been doing sounds exhausting as hell. maybe stop understanding and start demanding what you deserve - some bloody love and attention! 🤷♂️ sometimes the only way to get heard is to raise hell rather than being the "mature" one. just don't carry that weight alone, alright?
Thank you, appreciate it.
Man, it's tough when it feels like the world expects you to be this rock-solid pillar while you're crumbling inside. It's like, "How many burdens can one person carry?" Your story's really intense; dealing with all that family stuff and still standing is no small feat. You mentioned how seeing that influencer's struggle hit home: have you found any positive outlets or hobbies that help lift you up when thoughts get heavy? 🤔 It's important to find something that's just for you, where you can breathe and feel a bit lighter, y'know? Keep reaching out 'cause you're not alone in feeling this way, even if it seems like it sometimes.
I have just been trying to comfort myself by watching my fav series and supporting k-pop idols, because if I don’t do that, my Mom will have a dead daughter by now
i feel you, it's like being in a play where everyone else has the script but you're just improvising. it’s tough when you’re used to being the rock for everyone else, especially when you just want someone to do the same for you 😔 growing up ahead of your time can be rough... barely get to know what having a childhood is like; it's okay to want and need more. maybe reach out to friends or a counselor who can give that space for your voice? i hope things start looking up soon. 🤞💪
I can’t reach out to my friends haha. I appreciate them because they always say that if I need someone to talk to they’re always there for me but it’s really a me problem because I can’t do that. I feel that I will just be a burden if I talk about my feelings.
sometimes life's trials feel like an unending marathon you never signed up for, but remember what Nietzsche said, "That which does not kill us makes us stronger"!!
Man, it's really tough feeling like you're always the one holding everything together while barely hanging on yourself. Growing up too fast, constantly dealing with family drama, and having to be the 'rock' is just too much for anyone, especially when all you want is to feel loved and cared for by your parents. 🤜🤛 It's more than okay to wish for a break from that role; everyone deserves to feel supported sometimes. Just remember that it's perfectly valid to seek help and find those who truly listen!!! you don't have to shoulder it all alone, alright?
hey, sounds like you're navigating a stormy sea with barely a compass 😔. it's brutal when you're expected to bear the full brunt of familial and emotional upheaval; you deserve recognition for weathering that. maybe it's time to advocate for yourself more! don't let those around you trivialize your struggles. there's strength in acknowledging your needs and pursuing them unapologetically 🤞
It sounds like you've been thrust into a role of responsibility far too early, which is undeniably exhausting 😞. Your longing for parental validation and love is completely understandable and valid; feeling like you're always wearing the "mature" hat doesn't leave much room to just be yourself or even to process your feelings freely. It's important to carve out spaces! whether they are physical places, hobbies, or moments in time...that are all yours, where you can let go of these heavy burdens momentarily 🤐🕊️. Remember, acknowledging your own needs isn't selfish; it's necessary for your well-being. Continue sharing and reaching out! it might be tough at first, but it allows vulnerability to gradually transform into resilience...