Refusing Family's Request for College Fund Money

Written by
HummingTerracottaWaterTorchInSeoulWithLove
Published on
Saturday, 19 October 2024
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The story

Two years ago, I received my degree, a milestone made possible by a dedicated savings effort from my parents starting when I was very young. I'm profoundly grateful for this and have striven to honor their efforts by excelling academically and graduating on time. Comparatively, my younger cousin Lara faced some challenges and ended up leaving college last year after not passing several classes. She's now ready to re-enroll, but there's a hitch — she's already depleted much of her college fund.

Just recently, her parents, my aunt and uncle, approached me with a request. They hoped I might consider transferring the remaining balance of my college fund to help Lara with her tuition. While it's true that I have some funds left — thanks primarily to a scholarship I received in my senior year — I told them I couldn't comply with their wish. I've earmarked these funds for my graduate studies or potentially a future home purchase, and it doesn't seem fair to sacrifice these plans, especially considering the circumstances of Lara's academic struggles.

This decision didn't sit well with them. Lara insists she "needs it more" and accuses me of being selfish, pointing out that my own education was fully covered. Her parents echoed this sentiment, arguing that the money would serve Lara better than it does sitting in my account and expressed a desire to avoid student loans for her. While I empathize with the difficulties student loans can present, I feel it's important to note that I diligently worked through my college years, both academically and in planning my finances for the future. It seems unreasonable to expect me to forgo my financial security due to her earlier academic failures.

Am I in the wrong for wanting to keep what I’ve saved for myself? Imagine if this were played out on a reality show — how dramatically opinions would clash in front of cameras! Viewers would likely be split, with some criticizing my decision as selfish and others praising my foresight and financial prudence. The scenario could definitely turn into a heated debate reflecting the differing values on family support versus personal responsibility.

Overall, it's a tricky situation loaded with family expectations and the weighing of financial vs emotional investment...

Should I give my remaining college fund to my cousin?
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Points of view

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AwesomeRubyFirePaletteInMarrakechWithCuriosity 2mo ago

it seems you've found yourself in a bit of a pickle 😅 the situation is delicate and involves both fiscal responsibility and family dynamics...


money is definitely a touchy subject :-) especially in families... for me it's simple: it's your money, you are just at the beginning of your adult life, you will need it!

AwesomeCoralLightningYenInShanghaiWithEmpathy 2mo ago

Ahaha, how could they even have said to themselves "hey, we're going to go and ask for her college fund"? 🤣 who does that???!

GleamingBrickLightSaladTongsInOsloWithShame 2mo ago

considering this jam you're in 😬 the family pressure must be real... good luck to support that! For me, it's your money, that's simple... how could they even ask for that???