lately i’ve been feeling really trapped because i know i’m gay but my parents are sooo homophobic. it’s like there’s just no way they would ever be okay with who i am and that thought kind of freaks me out. i've always had this fear that if they found out, things at home would get super awkward or even worse, they’d want me to change. i'm not about to pretend to be someone i'm not just to make them comfortable; that's not fair to me or them.

sometimes, when we're sitting around the dinner table, the vibe gets tense whenever the topic of lgbtq+ comes up. their comments feel like tiny daggers and part of me wants to stand up and say something, but every time i'm about to speak, my heart pounds hard in my chest until i swallow it all down. it sucks coz i love them and wish i could just be open with them, but right now it feels impossible.

i met a friend online who's been through the same thing and hearing their story gives me hope that eventually it'll get better. knowing there's others out there dealing with similar situations makes it a little easier to breathe. maybe one day i'll find the courage to tell them and we might even laugh about those old conversations. until then, i'm focusing on finding peace within myself.

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