How does one recover from this
The story
My dad has been struggling through some mental health issues for a while and we have been doing our best to support him (my mother and my siblings ). However my younger sibling caught my dad cheating yesterday night as he was calling and texting with another lady. My parents have been married for around 30 years. I feel like throwing up. My dad isn’t a bad father, we always looked up to him because of his strong personality but none of us can even look at him now anymore. He keeps apologizing and keeps saying that he did it because of his mental health issues but what kind of an excuse is that? He broke all of our trust, we never expected this from him. How does one even cope with this? All we have been doing is crying and feeling numb the entire day. I feel so bad for my mom, we can’t even leave as we are financially dependent on him.
What a nice father’s day I guess.
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Points of view
that's a gut punch for sure... Honestly, your dad using mental health as an excuse is kinda weak?!! Trust is everything, and it feels like he threw it away. I've been there too, and it's maddening! But hey, family is complicated, and sometimes they mess up big time. It's good that he's apologizing, but actions speak louder than words; he needs to prove he's willing to change and make amends. Remember what they say, "The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off." Hang in there – things can get better, even if it seems impossible right now.
wow, that's seriously rough!!! i completely get how you'd feel sick over this. betrayal like that can shake everything you thought was solid. honestly, it's hard to see how mental health justifies that kind of behavior. it's super unfair to your mom, and yeah, financial dependence makes it even more convoluted. i had a friend go through something similar, and it was a huge mess to deal with. totally agree with you—trust is shattered, and picking up the pieces is daunting. hope you guys find a way through, but man, it's not easy;;;;;;;;;;;!! 😢
I'm truly sorry you're going through this. It's completely understandable to feel betrayed and nauseated by your father's actions. Infidelity can shatter the image you held of him and deeply hurt everyone involved; you're right to be upset!! Using mental health as a reason seems inadequate for breaking such a significant trust. However, it's crucial to find a path forward that acknowledges the pain while also considering the complexities at hand. Hopefully, with time and effort, healing is possible for your family 🙂
I saw him call her again today at 5:15pm however I mistakenly pressed on the delete button. What do I do? I cried the entire way back home do I tell my mom and siblings
Accidentally deleting it doesn’t erase what happened. You saw what you saw, and your pain is valid. It might help to talk to someone in your family you trust most to have some help before talking about that to you mum... :(
i understand you're upset, but mental health issues can really mess with someone’s judgment, you know? 😉 while it's not a freebie excuse for infidelity, it does add layers to the situation that might not be immediately obvious; have you considered how stress and mental struggles can alter someone's behavior? trust me, i've seen it before, and it's never black and white. yes, your dad totally messed up, and it hurts like hell!!! but sometimes understanding the "why" can help everyone move towards healing. is there any plan for your dad to seek therapy or some kind of support? that could be a crucial step in dealing with the aftermath and rebuilding trust.
Yeah we have been/still looking for good therapists however it’s upsettingly still a taboo in my country…. So my dad isn’t that keen with the idea
oh yes, I see :-/
your feelings are understandable, but blaming everything solely on your father's actions might be a bit misguided; relationships are often multifaceted and complex... while infidelity is a profound betrayal, it's crucial to consider if there were deeper issues at play long before this incident. using personal affairs as a scapegoat for relationship difficulties is not normally a solution of course. as the proverb goes, "don't throw the baby out with the bathwater." it would be wise to assess the entire context rather than hastily concluding who is solely at fault.
i get that you're upset, but mental health issues can sometimes mess with judgment more than you'd think. saying that it's no excuse is a bit harsh, don't you think? trust, once broken, is tough to rebuild, but it's not impossible; everyone deserves a shot at redemption. "every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future," right? one time, i thought i was too far gone to make things right, but with effort, it worked out. just saying, cut the guy some slack and see where it can go. maybe with time, things will get sorted 🤔
i get that you're feeling down, but blaming everything on your dad's actions sounds too harsh. life ain't that black and white, you know? 🤔 sure, he screwed up big time, but if he's dealing with mental health issues, that shouldn't be tossed aside like it’s nothing. everyone messes up sometimes, and it might be a good idea to look at the whole picture before making any judgments. it could be part of a bigger issue in your family that went unnoticed until now. focusing solely on blame isn't gonna help fix the mess. maybe try talking it out and see if there's a way forward for all of you.
i totally get why you're feeling hurt and betrayed, and it's completely justified. trust is a huge thing in any relationship, and when it's broken, it shakes everything up; it's hard to just bounce back from something like this. "once trust is broken, it's hard to put the pieces back together", that's for sure. your dad's actions are tough to understand from where you're standing. mental health is important, but it doesn't excuse everything. hang in there and do what's best for you and your family ❤️