I can't stand what's happening anymore
The story
[Translated from Spanish. Reminder: IIWIARS is English only]
A few months ago I met a girl, a bit older than me. We started talking, seeing each other, and began a 'relationship' but it wasn't formal yet. My parents are very religious, they found out about this and punished me for 2 and a half years without my phone, no going out for a while, and they have to be there when I do go out. Besides that, they kept telling me that what I was doing wasn't right and that I would go to hell or things like that, among other things, and obviously I couldn't talk to or get close to her. But I love her, and I kept writing to her. Two days ago they found out about our now formal relationship, and yesterday they didn't talk to me. Today they scolded me really hard, started rebuking demons, and are going to sue my girlfriend. They are going to keep me away from all my friends because I'm a bad influence and I feel really bad. I don't want to testify against my girlfriend, nor be left without friends. Besides, the feeling of being at home was already very uncomfortable because of all the arguments, rejection, and conditional love (since if I'm not how they want me to be, they show me contempt). My little dog died recently and almost all my life I said that if she died I would kill myself. She was my only safe place at home and as you can imagine I've been thinking about killing myself or leaving home for a while but I haven't finished school and it's complicated for me. Now all I want is for this to end, but I'm scared to kill myself, I don't know what to do. Without my girlfriend or friends, I have nothing left, I just want to die.
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Points of view
man, that's really a rough situation you're in :/ it sounds like your parents are overreacting a bit and taking things too far. do they realize how extreme this all is? i get that they're super religious, but suing someone? geez! maybe there's a counselor or teacher you can talk to about everything going on at home for some guidance. stay strong, and remember there are people out there willing to support you even when it feels like you're alone ❤
dude i kinda get wat ur sayin but like r u sure its worth all this drama? parents can b stubborn and pushy no doubt but fighting everythin jus for one person seems rough. havin them breathe down ur neck isnt fun tho, good luck man.
wow. that's really harsh, man. my parents flipped out when i started seeing my boyfriend too. he wasn't their 'ideal' choice but eventually they came around after some time. hang in there, maybe they'll chill out once they see it's serious?
had a strict upbringing too lol, broke up w a gf bc of it.
Man, that sounds incredibly rough. 😞 Your parents are coming on way too strong with this... maybe that's just their way of trying to protect you, but it seems super extreme. You shouldn't have to deal with isolation like that, especially when you're already hurting over your pup. Have you tried talking things out more calmly with them? I hope you can find a bridge here 'cause it's got to be hard feeling trapped like that. Keep reaching out and don't lose hope!
sounds like you're in a tough spot, but this reaction from your parents seems way overboard. i mean, suing your girlfriend?? wild. maybe they're just really scared and jumping to extremes. have you tried finding an adult outside your family who can listen without judgment? sometimes teachers or school counselors are good at that. hang in there, okay? it's rough now, but things can shift even when it doesn't seem possible...
That's really tough to go through at your age with school and everything else going on. Have you tried talking to your parents about how you feel directly? Sometimes an open conversation might help even if it doesn't solve everything.
Right?! Sometimes communication goes a long way even if it’s awkward.
Many years ago, I had to hide my relationship because my family was super religious too. They didn't approve of anyone who wasn't from the same church as us. Over time, though, they started to see that love is more important than those rules they held onto so tightly. It's difficult but things could change!
I'm really sorry you're going through this, and it seems like an impossible situation; have you thought about talking to a guidance counselor or school advisor?
It sounds like a difficult situation for sure. However, are you sure that completely going against your family's wishes right now is the only way? Maybe there's some middle ground where everyone can start to communicate better.
woah, that's a lot to handle. i can't even begin to imagine how intense it must be with all this pressure from your parents just for being in a relationship. suing your girlfriend though??? like, seriously? have your parents ever been open to having an actual conversation about what's going on instead of just laying down the law? it might not change their views overnight, but maybe there's a way to get them to see things from your perspective. also, losing your dog on top of everything else is just brutal... pets are family and it's understandable you'd feel so lost without her. hang in there;
have u tried therapy or anything?
Maybe leaving home isn't the answer if school is still unfinished?
Wow, your situation sounds absolutely suffocating!!! What are they even doing with all these punishments and religious freak-outs?!? I get they're trying to protect you or whatever, but suing your girlfriend is just bananas. Hope there's a way for you to stand up a bit without inflaming the situation more, maybe bouncing ideas off of someone who's been through similar sh*t... Honestly, I don't know how you're managing all this intensity, but please hang in there... you'll find a way that keeps you safe and your sanity intact 🙏
i think you're getting carried away with this situation and almost looking at it like it's the end of the world which it's not keep perspective life moves on we all have these moments where everything feels impossible
yo i feel u alot of ppl have crazy strict families especially over relationships like i kno its hard cuz u love her but maybe its worth tryin other ways to get ur folks to understand slowly talkin n bringing em around takes time tho
it's gotta be tough dealing with all this pressure at home. though maybe don't cut ties with your parents completely just yet u know? finding another support system might help while avoiding more drama for now.
.k look sorry bout whats happening wit ur family and all dat but mayb there things bein missed here like hav u told them how much this affects ur mental health? sometimes yelling back gets nowhere bt honest obvs hesitatn step cn wrk
It seems you're having an incredibly difficult time balancing your personal life against familial expectations. But do remember there may be compromises or discussions possible so that everyone's needs are recognized peacefully.
What does your girlfriend think about all that's going on?