I don't think my parents gen care about me

I just had an intense argument with my mom, which led me to cry in the closet room for almost an hour. I don't want to go through the details of what happened. Let's just say one small thing lead to whole chaos. I thought about me and hers relationship together and I wondered if she actually cares about me. Ig she argued with me like she didn't, still, it hurt. Bc she's never actually listened to what I have to say. She always goes off rambling about whatever expecting to listen through. Then a few hours later, my dad rages over my brother like the hundredth time and beats him with a belt. Somehow, I got involved with his scolding bc the pathaway to my door was a mess with books and papers (it wasn't really mess, more like random stuff on the floor bc there's a bookshelf outside of my door) and he always has to include something hurtful and unnecessary to his scoldings. The worst part about all this is when it ends, bc when it does, it seems like everything goes back to normal, except now I'm a mental wreck contemplating about why sin did I committed in a past life to get emotionally and psychological abused by two emotionally self absorded nitwits who talk their asses off like they get paid for every sentence that say. I honestly thought about ending my life, I've been thinking about it for a long time now but its more of a traumatic response that something constant. But I'm really considering it now since I feel trapped in my parents' home and running away seems too terrifying to me. I just wished that they acc made an effort to care about me as an individual but ofc, they have like 5 other children to take care of, which they had WILLINGLY, so who gives a shit about their children's mental wellbeing.

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