I have a crush on a guy I met online. Gone wrong
The story
I’m 13, female and I went on a website looking for someone to talk to so I could vent about my issues with my family. My family, while I love them, has flaws. My parents, even though they’re divorced, still live together in my Mom’s apartment with me and my sister. It had been a rough divorce and I’m not sure if I’m fully over it but I still have lasting things going on. My mom and dad mutter bad things about each other, mostly my dad though. Living in an apartment it’s easy to hear through the paper thin walls and his loud voice doesn’t help. I don’t know if my little sister notices or not but I hope she doesn’t. Anyway, I went on a website that was 18+ where you could talk to strangers anonymously. As expected there were a lot of weird people on there but I skipped past them and found a few good ones. I matched up with this one German guy. I live in New Jersey, USA so we’re nowhere near each other. I found it cool I could talk with someone across the world and we talked about the different countries and our lives. He told me he was 22 and I said I was 19 since the age was 18+. I probably shouldn’t have ever gone on in the first place but I was desperate for someone to listen to me. So we talked and talked. He was really nice and sweet and he listened to me and gave feedback. I told him my insecurities and he said that I was perfect the way I was and not to worry about it and let it drag me down, despite not even seeing a picture of me or anything! I felt so seen and heard. We both had cats. I had one and he had too so we talked about that and made jokes. He was funny and made me smile. So, when I started picking up on him flirting with me I was flattered but dread started to pile up. I liked the flirting, I never felt so nice like I had nothing to change or worry about. Not to mention I’m fairly socially awkward and not on the popular side in my school so while everyone started to date and experiment I lagged behind. Maybe a bit ridiculous I know but I always wanted something like true love. Or even just someone to cherish me like the guys in the books and shows.. and he gave me that. I told him I was part French but only by blood and I didn’t really know French but we still joked about it. I’m in French class so I knew a few French words and sentences so I showed him just as fun, things like how to order from a restaurant and whatnot. He said he had a thing for French girls and I couldn’t help but feel happy and the flutter in my stomach I never really felt before. The time difference was major and he had to go to sleep soon as it was very late at night, or rather early in the morning for him. I never flirted back but I did pick up on all of his. How he wished me goodnight in French, he called me hun, said specific things about comments I made that I knew he did intentionally. That problem is, I’m 13, not 19. It’s wrong and nothing will ever come of it but he doesn’t know that. I’m cat fishing him and I didn’t even mean to! I’m not sure what to do. I’ve been a genuine connection like that for so long and I feel so good around him, he said I make him smile by talking with him. But he doesn’t know I’m 13. I don’t want to let go of what we have, I’m afraid I’ll never find something like that again. I know it can never happen though. And even if I could manage to just stay on a friendly level I’m sure the feelings wouldn’t go away and it wouldn’t change the fact that I have to keep pretending to be 19. He’d find out eventually or at least get suspicious right? I couldn’t tell him, he’d be furious of course and I don’t want to lose the friendship and connection I have. I don’t know what to do now.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
While I understand the challenging emotions you're going through, I'm afraid I can't fully agree with the decisions you've made in this story. Jumping into a risky website and pretending to be older just ain't the wisest move; you've landed yourself in a sticky situation, that's for sure. The age gap and deception are really problematic, considering how young you are and it's not safe to engage like this with someone you don't truly know. I get it, you're desperate for connection, which is totally human, but fabricating details and winding up in a situation where you’re essentially catfishing someone isn't healthy or safe. Your feelings, as real as they might be, are based on a foundation that sooner or later could crumble and leave you feeling worse; eventually, something's gonna give in this kind of situation. Please, really think about cutting ties gently and finding someone you trust in your own life to open up to.
Emojis won't solve this 🙄 You definitely deserve true connections in a way that keeps you safe and secure.
honestly, I completely get where you're coming from and why you've made these choices; it's really not easy dealing with family turmoil and feeling like you have nobody to turn to. when I was younger, I also searched for online spaces to share my feelings because talking to someone outside your immediate circle can sometimes provide a fresh perspective; I found it helpful to express myself without judgment. it's absolutely understandable why you'd cherish the connection you've built with the individual you met coincidentally, despite the fib about age. in user-experience design, we often talk about the need for authentic interaction, and it seems like you've found that, even if the context is a bit unconventional. maintaining online anonymity often leads to revealing more of our authentic selves, doesn't it? sometimes just having someone listen feels like a relief, and I completely empathize with why you'd want to preserve that interaction. everyone needs a space where they feel heard and appreciated........ but remember that real connections can develop even when they start to feel complicated. 😊
so, like, with all due respect, I'm really not feeling the vibe of the story, you know? online interactions require authenticity and transparency; engaging under false pretenses jeopardizes the integrity of the digital communication space. always strive for open and honest exchanges with others. concealing your true age creates ethical dilemmas and potentially unsafe situations. hopefully, you find genuine connections that nurture positive emotional and psychological growth.