I literally want to run away
The story
I'm a teen female (younger that 18) I hate it here. I'm so sick of being around people who act like they care about me but don't ever consider my feelings, my parents are so mentally draining, they say they understand how I feel but they genuinely don't. My mom said she had a "gay phase" too. It's not a phase, I've like women, and all genders since the I was young. They think its because I got exposed to things during covid and I hate it. Because it just shows how much they didn't pay attention to me as a kid (well, younger kid.) I literally had an imaginary girlfriend when I was like six and that was WAY BEFORE covid. I hate them. Mostly my dad, my mom is okay because she actually tries to hang out with me, not as much anymore but she asks me to go places with her and it shows she's atleast trying, unlike my dad who only does things for me if it benefits for him. My mom tried to tell me. "But he's picking you up from school everyday!" BARE MINIMUM. I don't want ungrateful, I know there's people who's dad's are worse but still, he doesn't even try. "He takes you to school sometimes!" Only because his physical therapy is on the way and I know he wouldn't do it if it wasn't.
Me and my mom were talking about what high-school I want to go to since it's almost the end of the year (I have 2 and a half weeks of school left) and we might go to this one school but my mom has to be at work 7:50am and we live 20-30 minutes away from her office so she can't drop me off at the bus stop, we'd have to leave way earlier than we already do. I said my dad could just drop me off and she went silent. (knowing damn well he's going to be upset about it.) She said "I'll have to talk to your dad about it." Uhm, why does he have a talk about it?
I don't know. Am I being unreasonable?
Am I being unreasonable?
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Points of view
Honestly?? I kinda feel like you're being a bit harsh with your parents, especially with your dad!!! Like, I get it, they're not perfect, but come on—picking you up from school and taking you places is actually pretty solid. Not every parent does that, ya know? Maybe there's some lack of understanding on both sides here. 🤷♂️ You said your mom is at least trying, and hey, maybe your dad's just not as great at showing he cares. Communication is key!! Seriously, talking it out helps sooo much instead of just assuming the worst??? It might not be a Hallmark family, but cutting them some slack might make it all feel less suffocating. Also, remember, everyone's overwhelmed in their own life, and adults are just big kids faking it sometimes!! Give 'em a chance, okay???
Well its mostly just my mom, and also my dad has to pick me up because my school doesn't have busses and I don't have any other transportation. Also, when my dad has to take me to school sometimes he gets super upset at my mom and fight over it, and he acts like a literal child when its not even that far from where he's going, and he does this every time. I do understand i didn't give that information but it was because I felt like the story was getting too long and I didn't want people to not read because of it.
I truly empathize with your situation and entirely understand where you're coming from. It can be incredibly frustrating to feel like those around you don't genuinely consider your feelings or experiences. Your perspective on how your parents are acting, especially with your dad's involvement, makes a lot of sense; it certainly sounds like you're caught in a challenging environment. Being told that your feelings are just a "phase" must be incredibly invalidating, and it's crucial that your identity is respected. It's vital to have open and honest conversations with your parents about how you're feeling, even if it's difficult. You're not being unreasonable at all; instead, you are highlighting the struggle of feeling misunderstood and wanting to be heard. Hang in there, and remember, it's important to prioritize your well-being and seek out spaces and people where you feel validated and supported. 💖
Thank you! I didn't cover everything so I understand people might not understand why I'm upset but like I said I do understand I should be grateful I didn't get worse parents like others but that doesn't mean I can't feel upset about how my parents talk and act towards me.
From everything you've described, it sounds like your parents are at least making an effort, which is more than a lot of people get. Claiming that something is the "bare minimum" can sometimes overlook the fact that they are, in their own way, showing that they care. I get it, parents aren't perfect and you want them to understand you completely, but that doesn't always happen, unfortunately. 🙄 My own parents never really "got" me either, but I found that having calmer conversations and explaining my feelings without hostility helped a lot. Maybe cut them a bit of slack and try seeing things from their perspective; they're likely just trying to navigate their own struggles too.
I honestly understand why you came to this and the fact everyone has their own opinions but I didn't say all the bad things just stuff that's been bothering me recently, like how both of my parents have no interest in what I like or how they literally ignored me when I was a child which I think I did include but it was because my mom is a married to her work and my dad was an alcoholic most of my life and only quit when I was in 5th grade because it was going to kill him, he had never spoke to me when I was younger (from what i remember) because he was always drunk or high in our garage, and I literally can't think of anytime my mom gave me attention when I was younger besides the time my legs got like this thing from a vaccine I was allergic to and didn't know.
Also there is no communicating when I'm talking with my dad. I try and say something and he immediately shuts it down because he's heard otherwise or its because of some stupid thing he can come up with and do anything for it to not be him who is the problem
it's totally understandable to feel frustrated in your situation, and I can see you're going through a tough time. 🤷♀️ however, it might be helpful to consider that your parents may be trying within their own limitations. sure, they might not do everything ideally, but they do seem to be making some effort. nobody likes to feel misunderstood, especially when it comes to personal identity and experiences. maybe approaching them with calmness could bridge the gap a little; 🤔 just a thought. building mutual understanding takes time, but it can pay off in the end. wishing you patience and strength.
I actually wish I could come up to them and tell them but they have no consideration for my feelings, especially my dad, he ignores what I say tries to force what he wants on me when I try to talk about my feelings. And "parents" when it's only my mom who does anything for me. My dad doesn't even try to talk to me or anything he just simply stays on the couch all day or does yard work. I haven't had a real interaction with him in so long. (not counting the times I've expressed my feelings about certain things) He doesn't even care and he has made it so obvious that he only cares to hang out with my brother and I know it's not because he doesn't know what to do with me when literally I ask all the time to go snowboarding or anything else.