Is my mom narcissistic?
The story
This may sound a bit confusing because im young but my mom is always the type to start talking about herself and completely turn everything to be about her and how she is the victim, once i wanted to talk about my feelings to her but she went behind my back and turned my feeling into gossip to my brother and laughed about it, when i confronted her and got mad at her, i asked her why she is suddenly so quiet, she answered with " if i say what i wanna say, u will get mad at me" and this might sound reasonable for some but she is this type of person who doesn't give her own child advice, so when she tells me this i just hate how stupid and disgusting a person that is my own mother can be, she expects me to figure my life out all by myself and she wants me to just stop talking about my thoughts to her, she wont get me a therapist because i think she is embarrassed to have her daughter going to therapy at such a young age and she thinks people will think of me as a psycho and stuff, i know it's not a money problem because she pays for my brother therapy and she is all good with it.
I recently started having conversations about my own pov about some topics and i don't have anyone to talk to so i talked to my mom but everytime i speak she just makes fun of me and she keeps telling me to "stop talking about my feelings because life isn't that serious", she thinks the solution to every problem in her life is to be angry and make it about herself and how she is such a victim, im so young that ill be waiting years too get a flat or safe space in general all by myself but honestly, just because of my mom and stuff i dont believe I'll even make it to 20. i just feel so weak and vulnerable and i feel like such a disappointment at all times and i just don't see myself being able to have everything figured out at 20 or even older since right now i have problems with myself such as forgetfulness, i can think about something, get distracted and just forget about it like it never happened, but I don't want my mother to help me in adulthood because im afraid she will just argue with me about everything
Stories in the same category
Points of view
that sounds super frustrating, especially when you just want someone to listen without judgment or turning it into a joke...
maybe your mom just doesnt understand
Maybe, but she wont let me explain to her. She just doesn't care
that sucks. maybe she has a hard time with that kind of communication. it's really frustrating if you feel like you're not being listened to. do you have anyone else you can talk to?
No, I don't.
I am very socially awkward and i don't have any friends in real life or online.
I wish she would go to therapy but she thinks its just a waste of time and money
that sounds really tough. i'm sorry you're going through this alone. maybe there's a school counselor you could try reaching out to? you deserve someone to listen and help!
I used to go to a school psychologist but she didn't help, i was caught in an incident before and the school gave me the psychologist as a way to cover it up, we used to talk abd she promised me she would help me and stuff but in the end we had limited sessions and we couldn't meet anymore so yeah, any help is off the table for me i think
that must have been really disappointing. it sounds like you were just starting to open up and then the support got cut off. it sucks that finding real help has been so tricky :(
Hey, I know it's frustrating when people don't listen, but sometimes it's helpful to ask ourselves why they act the way they do. It might be that your mom is dealing with her own issues and doesn't know how to separate them from your situation. While you can't control her actions, you can try finding other people or friends who can offer support. It's tough, but you're not alone.
Yeah that's true... People often have their own struggles.
Yeah she does have struggles but she never even tries to get therapy and she always blames it on her kids
That's really tough. It sounds like she's not ready to take responsibility for her own issues, and I guess that can make things feel even more unfair. It's hard not having support from the person who should be there for you. Maybe, in your situation, finding others who understand could help a bit!
Could she be afraid of therapy?
I don't know, maybe she thinks talking about feelings is weak, i really don't know but she needs it so much and it's pissing me off that she is not working on herself but blaming everything on her kids
Your mom might be stuck in her own way of coping... She could see feelings as a sign of weakness, yeah. It must be tough dealing with that attitude when you just want support! 🫤
you know, it's tough when you feel like the people who should be supporting you just aren't there for you. i've had my share of misunderstandings with family too and it feels like you're stuck in this loop where your voice isn't heard. but thinking about your situation, do you think there's a chance your mom is projecting her own issues onto you, maybe? it's not fair at all, and it definitely shouldn't be that way, yet sometimes people put their baggage on others without realizing it. i once had a similar experience with someone close to me who made everything about them because they didn't know how to deal with their own emotions either. maybe finding little ways to express yourself separately from her might help clear some of that frustration you're feeling?? writing things down or finding another small creative outlet can sometimes offer a bit of relief amidst all the chaos...
I dont know, i really don't, it just feels like she doesn't care about me at all cuz she has been like this since day 1 and nothing has changed, she always finds a way to yell at all her kids even if just 1 kid did something wrong
Im just so tired and if i have to keep being with a person like that every day then I'd rather just go to an adoption center at this point or sum idk
i hear you, and it sounds really draining to be stuck in that kind of environment. i can barely imagine the frustration of feeling like things won't change...
from what u saying ur mom sounds kinda toxic tbh is she threatened by ur independence maybe or just trying to keep control cos she's scared of losing uive had similar probs and i found journaling helped me process things when i couldnt talk to my mom abt personal stuff do u think thats sth u cud try?
My mom doesn't like secrets
she would probably find the journal and read it without my permission
that sucks. maybe try writing in code or symbols so if she finds it, she can't understand? or use a notes app with a password. gotta find some way to keep ur thoughts private.
doesnt she care at all?
I dunno, we've had a fight recently and we've just been ignoring each other, i dont even look into her face anymore, she doesn't seem to care. I think she is actually way happier now that i dont talk to her anymore
that's really hard. It must feel weird that she might be happier without the conversations. It sounds like you're caught in a tough spot trying to have meaningful talks but ending up with more hurt. Keep venting here if it helps, people are listening!
Man, that's a tough spot to be in. It's like you're stuck trying to communicate with someone who’s got their own radio station programmed 24/7 and you never get airtime. 😅
idk seems harsh
It's really tough when you're in a place where it feels like the people who should support you are more of an obstacle; have you considered reaching out to any online communities or forums where people might have similar experiences?
I mean if u dont count this site, i tried to chat with a psychologist on a site but then i looked at the reviews and lets just say they werent so great (all of them were negative)
Online reviews can definitely be a mixed bag. 😅
Sometimes you have to sift through the not-so-great stuff to find something that clicks.
dude ur situation sucks man some parents just have dif priorities like maybe shes jealous or insecure about herself idk im just guessing here tho
Reading this makes me wonder if there are any relatives or trusted adults you could turn to. Having someone outside of your immediate family that understands and listens might give you a different perspective and more support. What about teachers or school counselors? Sometimes they can offer someone to talk with who isn't involved in family dynamics.
The teachers at my school are strict and i just dont trust them cuz they are all weird, I don't think there is another option for me
I get that. Sometimes, adults can be really hard to connect with or seem unapproachable... I remember there was this teacher everyone thought was super strict, but when I finally talked to them, they turned out to be unexpectedly supportive. Maybe there's someone like that around you? You never know who might surprise you by being a good listener!
Wow, your mom sounds like she's quite the handful. It's really tough when the one person who should be your biggest supporter turns everything into a personal drama fest; makes you wonder why some people just can't see outside their own bubble. Have you thought about other ways to build that support network? Maybe even online or through interest-based groups?
You know, it sounds like your mom is stuck in this perpetual cycle of making everything about her, which is pretty selfish and not exactly what you'd expect from a parent. It's like she's more concerned with controlling the narrative than actually being there for you. I've seen this kind of behavior before, and it's usually because they're dealing with their own insecurities or ego issues, but that doesn't make it okay to dump all that on you. Honestly, it's unsettling how she plays favorites too, supporting your brother while disregarding your needs. I get why journaling might not be an option since she'd probably snoop around (privacy doesn't seem to be her thing), but maybe finding someone else who's trustworthy might help... even if that's easier said than done. You deserve to have a voice and know it's heard without worrying about it becoming gossip material or being laughed at by the person who should support you most.
Honestly, it sounds like your mom is stuck in her own world of issues and can't even see beyond that. Like, how do you expect someone to help when their mirror is always reflecting back at them? You mentioned she won't help because she's worried about appearances, but honestly, who cares what people think? That mindset can be so damaging, not just to her but to you too. I mean, if she doesn't want to support you in therapy, maybe there's a hotline or online chat service where you can talk to someone who actually listens? That's low-key messed up but rolling through the motions might get you just enough space to breathe and figure things out on your own terms! You deserve way better than being gaslighted into thinking life's a one-way traffic where only her stories matter. Keep looking for independence in any small way and don't let this drag you under just because you're restricted by age right now!
sounds exhausting
Man, that sounds so rough :'(
I had a similar experience with my dad where every conversation seemed like he would make it about him instead of listening to me. I felt really lost during my teenage years without guidance from him. Eventually, I started seeking help from teachers who listened and gave good advice. It wasn't easy but knowing others cared made a difference.
Your story really resonates with me because I also have a parent who manages to twist conversations around themself as if they're the only ones with problems. When I was younger, this used to frustrate me greatly – it took years for me to understand their behavior came from insecurity rather than malice, so now I'm adamant about creating boundaries even though it's hard since this impacts my schedule and mental health immensely.
Setting boundaries is key in these situations!