My Departure
The story
[Translated from Spanish. Reminder: IIWIARS is English only]
I feel like no one is there for me—to listen, to read me, to write to me, or even to be open to talking with me. I feel like, in my environment, I’m just an extra burden. And if that’s the case, then I feel completely pushed aside by everyone. How could I not want to look for another place? I have to face it: I don’t belong here. That’s it. I need to find somewhere else. Period.
I’m tired of my environment refusing to admit it. We’re not compatible—and we never will be. We’ve only lived causing each other headaches, acting out power struggles to avoid admitting it, but all that’s brought is war after war. It’s time for me to leave. Maybe not physically, but mentally, emotionally. I can’t take these useless conflicts anymore—they’re destroying our ability to coexist. My presence here, their acknowledgment of me, has only made life more fearful.
It’s time to go, once and for all. I feel like I have the chance, and I’m going to take it. We’ll all be safer this way. Maybe there will be a time of imbalance, but it’s either that or keep living in fear. Those who manage to get through it will be okay—and those who don’t, well... at least everyone will have searched for peace. That’s what matters most to me now—finding peace, no matter what.
There are things we have to leave behind, and ironically, that includes the place we were born. I have nothing left here—absolutely nothing. All I see is destruction and more destruction. Why keep denying it? I don’t want to be part of this anymore. I feel like I’m encouraging my relatives to become something like criminals—just as they do to each other. Luckily, we haven’t crossed the line that would get anyone arrested or reported, but we’re getting close. And that’s not the goal. I have to face it: my presence here—someone not suited to this environment—is just harmful. I can’t deny that anymore.
There’s nothing more painful for me than realizing I’ve been a source of harm and pain. And the worst part is, I couldn’t do anything before—but now I feel like I can. And I’m proud of that. I can give everyone a calmer life. Yes, let’s admit it—they’ll be better off without me here. I’ll be better off leaving, because in doing so, I’ll have truly supported them. I’ll be repaying everything they’ve done for me. It’s the greatest thank-you I can offer—the most meaningful one. What good are gifts or fake kindness? They don’t help anymore. People feel it, even if they don’t realize it.
I feel like I’m fulfilling a moral obligation, in the end. A civic duty, even—one that supports a healthier society, whether that means staying or stepping away. It’s what I have to do.
What hurts, though, is realizing that the solution to my problems with this environment isn’t in the environment itself—it’s somewhere else. I wish it were here, so I could embrace that resolution and feel proud of it. But the truth is, it never was. Trying to force that belief only led to disaster. It’s what brought us to this point—where we hate each other, deeply. All because we tried to stay. We have to face it: this environment is filled with disconnected people who pretend to bond just to deny the truth. There’s nothing between us. There never was—barely even between parents and children.
I wish it had been different. I always believed that teamwork was the answer. But the problem is... there’s no team. You can’t count on something that doesn’t exist.
Why did this life have to be mine? Why couldn’t this have happened to someone else? Why live with this discouragement? Why does this transition have to be like this? Why do I have to leave this environment just like that? And yet—it feels like inertia. My mind just goes there... because there’s more calm. That’s it. I think deep down, that’s what we’re all searching for—peace and calm. And in a way, my own environment has pushed me toward it. It’s something that’s just out of everyone’s hands.
Then come the questions:
What will I live in that new environment? Will they try to change me? Will I become someone else? Will I forget the place I came from? What will happen to them once I’m gone?
There’s so much I can’t control. I just know this: I’m in transition—and I never thought it would be like this.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
I hesitated before replying but felt it necessary to offer a different perspective on your narrative... While I can appreciate the depth of emotion you’ve displayed, and there’s certainly sincerity in your words, the notion of needing to completely disconnect from your current environment might be a bit extreme; when there’s chaos all around, it’s tempting to think that leaving is the only solution, but it’s crucial to consider all angles of interpersonal dynamics? Disputes and discord can often mask potential for growth and understanding, which seems overlooked here!!!
It's understandable to feel like a "square peg in a round hole," but shifting environments isn't a guaranteed resolution to the internal and external conflicts you describe. The encouragement of further reflection on whether relocation, physically or mentally, really addresses the intricate web of "relational frameworks" and "communication channels" within your current environment could be beneficial. Using the words of others who've been there, changing location without addressing core issues might just lead to "new places, same problems"—think about whether there are other skillsets or support systems available that you might not have yet utilized fully...!
It's also somewhat concerning that there’s a lack of exploration into potential adjustments or adaptive measures that could be taken within your present circumstances. Have adaptive challenges been given ample consideration, such as nuanced negotiation strategies or conflict resolution techniques? The pursuit of peace is indeed noble, yet achieving such peace externally without fostering it internally may lead to perpetual cycles of dissatisfaction.
Ultimately, your story unmistakably reflects a sincerely felt experience that resonates with many others who are soul-searching, yet this narrative could benefit from broadening the approach to comprehension and resolution through alternative, less drastic means; consider whether avenues within your current sphere could be improved rather than completely abandoned. Keep exploring, and perhaps you’ll uncover previously unrecognized possibilities or resources that could lead to resolution and fulfillment!!!
Hey, I get that you're feelin' all sorts of frustrated, but honestly, bailing out of your current scene might not be doing you any favors. It kinda sounds like you're lookin' for an escape route instead of diggin' deep to deal with what's happenin' around you. You ever heard that saying, “Wherever you go, there you are”? Just takin' off without dealing with the core issues could mean you're carryin' the same baggage to a new place... Why not try to tackle the problems head-on?
Movin' on or mentally checkin' out seems like an easy fix, but is it really gonna solve anything? You're talkin' about the need for peace and a new start, but have you even tried to shift things in your current setup? Comin' from that perspective, it seems like you’re just running away from your problems instead of confrontin’ them. "Grass ain’t always greener on the other side," ya know? And how's abandonin' ship gonna ensure things change for the better?
Sure, it's a bummer feelin' like you're stuck in the wrong crowd, but has it ever crossed your mind that maybe communication and understanding can help fix some of those bad vibes? Givin' up without tryin' to sort things out might just leave you with regrets or the same freakin' problems—face the music, deal with the mess; maybe you’ll find solutions where you least expect them!!!
hey there, I get that you're going through a tough time, but I can't help but wonder if leaving is the best move. it's like the saying goes, "the grass isn't always greener on the other side." running from a situation can sometimes mean you're not really addressing the root cause, you know? how sure are you that changing your environment will actually bring you peace?!!!!
you mentioned feeling like an "extra burden," but is distancing yourself really the way to improve those interpersonal dynamics? sometimes, tackling "conflict resolution" head-on within your current setting could reveal new ways to improve things. have you explored all those options?
i totally understand the drive to find peace, but sometimes, the path to that calm involves facing some challenges head-on instead of bailing out. maybe give it another shot with some new "communication strategies," and who knows, you might find unexpected solutions...