New feelings on my “dad”
The story
I feel like I’m approving but not? Just very slowly.
And right now I think I’m more hostile? Like whenever I ask if my dad can make dinner (at 7pm) he’ll always say “uhmmmm” or not respond? It may seem not that big of a deal but after hearing that everyday for 5 years as a new teenager?? That’s gonna drive you insane! And then I have to figure out what to eat and look, and I feel he should be able to do this on his own??? ( he’s home all day doing nothing.) And then when I figure it out then he takes 20 minutes before actually starting to cook!! It may seem selfish or unreasonable but imagine yourself a new teenager with unstable hormones having to deal with unsure hums and no responses. And it’s also that I have no patience to repetition of verbal words!!! And often I’ve been just so annoyed with him talking to me since it feels wrong…? Like for 5 years you’ve could’ve done that but it’s too late now. Like I appreciate it but I don’t and it hurts.
But recently I’ve been working at my community center doing hours helping out playing with babies! It’s getting a bit annoying but every job is like that lol! And I’m still pushing by, by making these writings. And I went to the beach after work with my auntie and cousin, we went looking for crabs and found some but only baby ones. But it was really fun!! And we even ate some food at this new diner! And even if it was something small it made me feel wanted and appreciated??

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sounds like you're dealing with quite a bit of frustration at home, which is understandable, especially with the dinner situation 🤔. i mean, asking your dad to make dinner doesn't seem like a huge ask, especially if he's not busy. maybe it's about setting better expectations or having a different system in place, you know? sometimes communication can really help clear up those repetitive misunderstandings, maybe have a sit-down chat and see if you can come to an agreement on meal times or responsibilities? 🤷♂️ on the brighter side, it's awesome that you're enjoying your work at the community center and had some fun at the beach! finding a bit of joy and relaxation outside of home can be a great way to balance out stress. hang in there, hopefully, things get a bit smoother soon! 🌟
Yeah my parents have talked about it but he says he'll get better but he won't. So its frustrating!! But I'm definitely leaning on my cousins and grandparents for that parental hope? But tysm for commenting!!!
sounds like a tough situation at home with all these little frustrations adding up over time. honestly, it's understandable to feel overwhelmed, especially when someone isn't responsive to a simple request like making dinner. after 5 years, hearing "uhmmmm" or getting no response can definitely wear on anyone's patience. we all know how teenage years can be really difficult, and having unstable hormones definitely doesn't make it any easier to deal with slow or uncertain replies. sure, it might seem like a minor inconvenience to some, but compounded over time, it gets exhausting.
the community center work sounds like a nice break, though! getting to play with babies can be a great release, even if it's a bit taxing. also, that trip to the beach with your aunt and cousin seems like a breath of fresh air. exploring and finding those baby crabs, even if small, can feel rewarding when you're seeking some validation or appreciation. "hanging in there" can be such a challenge sometimes. keep pushing forward and finding those moments of joy where you can.
Tysm for commenting!!! And I'm definitely leaning on my cousins and grandparents now for that more parental part? More like hope yk? But tysm again for commenting, it means more than you think!!!
Totally get why you're feeling frustrated with the whole dinner situation. it must be really annoying to deal with the same uncertainty every day for five years!!!! that's a long time to put up with it. growing up, I had a similar issue with my parents, and it was hard to not take it personally. it does put you in a position where you have to be more self-reliant, yes, but it's still frustrating when it feels like it should be a shared responsibility, especially if he's at home all day...
it’s pretty cool that you’ve found a way to put some of that energy into working at the community center. sometimes finding those positive outlets can help keep you grounded, even when home is stressful. the beach trip sounds especially nice, a good break from the routine. have you tried talking to your dad about how the "uhmmmm" makes you feel over time? maybe he doesn't realize the impact it's having on you.
Yeah I've been more self-relient on myself lately, doing homework alone, cooking for myself, drawing and just giving myself company and sometimes it isn't enough lol! And it's very comforting knowing that I'm not alone 🫶🫶!! And my mom has made it clear to my dad that it is very annoying(in a argument) and I think I've made it clear to him I hate it. Tbh I can't express my emotions very well since I have a speech delay..? So more of stutters whenever I'm emotional or mad, so I shutdown or yell/ pull at my hair or scratch..? Idk but I dont' think he's understanding so it's making me upset. Tysm for commenting it means more then you think!!
seems like you're overreacting to this whole dinner situation. asking your dad to make dinner and then expecting him to jump up right away to do it is a bit unreasonable; it's dinner, not a crisis emergency;-)
perhaps a more structured approach to meal planning could avoid the repetitive frustration you experience, but it's not like making dinner is the end of the world. are you considering how he feels when he's constantly asked at the last minute?
I understand your point but he really has all day to relax so when I ask for one thing that's pretty simple I don't want to wait 20 minutes and then a extra 30 to cook it, I plan things out and when people mess with it constantly it upsets me a lot. Tysm for your comment though!! I'll think of this perspective.
man, i totally feel you on this one. it must be so annoying to deal with the endless "uhmmmm" every time you ask your dad to make dinner; like, 5 years of that would drive anyone nuts. i remember when i was a teen, my mom did the same kind of thing, and it was super frustrating. sometimes parents just don't get how their indecisiveness can mess with our heads.
props for finding some positives, though. working at the community center and playing with babies sounds kinda fun, even if it gets a bit tiring. and that beach trip with your aunt and cousin seems like a nice escape from reality. keep cherishing those moments, and don't let the chaos at home get you down too much. you've got this! 😊
I'm sorry for your experiences too!! But its super comforting knowing I'm not the only one experiencing this..! And Im very decisive so when people with "authority" question me or themselves it makes me so irritated bc I want a straight answer lol! It might be from verbal directions being difficult to remember and I have speech delays lol!!
sounds like you're stuck in a loop with your dad when it comes to dinner, and yeah, five years is a long time to put up with that kind of frustration. i get it, when i was a kid, my family had this way of never deciding on dinner until way late, and it drove me nuts 😤. totally messes with your vibe when you're hungry and someone keeps giving you the runaround instead of just deciding.
but hey, major kudos for finding something positive in working at the community center and chillin' at the beach. that's a great way to keep balanced when home is a hassle. how did you start working at the community center? seems like it's offering a nice escape for you. sounds like you're navigating this while keeping your cool. hang in there, and maybe try talking straight with your dad about how it's affecting you? sometimes they just need a heads-up to get it. 🤔
I've been working at th community center for 5 weeks now I think, I work Tuesdays to Thursdays and it can be a bit much but it keeps me busy lol!! And I didn't know I loved the beach this much..? It feels amazing to do things I haven't done in years! And tbh I think my new escape is that? I have a new hangout this week with my friends but I sadly can't go from my orthodontist 💔 and I think iv made it clear to my dad that it makes me upset to hear uncertainty all the time. But tysm for your comment!!!
yeah, i totally get where you’re coming from!!! dealing with that "uhmmmm" every single day would definitely drive anyone crazy. honestly, it's enough to make anyone feel like they're about to lose it. had a similar vibe at home growing up, and boy, it was frustrating. like, you just want someone to step up, ya know?
and even if he's home all day, you'd think dinner wouldn’t be such a huge ask; it's not like you're requesting something massive. but hey, it's dope that you're finding some joy at the community center. always great to have a bit of a break from the chaos at home, for real. how’s that new diner you tried? hopefully, things start to chill out for ya soon. 🤔
I'm sorry you also had to deal with this but it’s strangely comforting?? Like knowing I’m not the only one lol!! And i definitely think he should step up or someone else will. Or I’ll find someone to lol..? Idk but it may be selfish but I wish I could have a better parent…? Like even a step-dad or uncle.. just that father figure to guide me. But I’m liking the community center!! It’s kinda refreshing to see such new life? Knowing that they haven’t been hurt yet and that they love their parents so much.. it’s a bit dark but it’s the truth lol! But tysm for the comment!!!
sounds like you're going through a frustrating time with your dad, but maybe there's a bit too much emphasis on the dinner issue!!! yes, it can be annoying to deal with indecisiveness; however, it might be worth considering if there's a more effective approach to address this with him. asking for an immediate response and expecting quick action might not always be feasible, especially if he's got his own reasons for the delay, even if it doesn’t seem obvious to you right now.
also, remember, dealing with these kinds of conflicts can teach resilience and patience in the long run. it’s great that you’re finding joy in other activities like working at the community center. it might be beneficial to focus on these positive outlets instead of letting the negatives at home consume you entirely. have you thought about setting up a different system for meals or discussing your feelings directly with your dad? sometimes open communication can really make a difference. 🤔
You’re totally right but it’s just that I feel he could just do this for me? He’s home all day doing nothing. I’d like a bit urgency. And I feel like this is shaping me in good and bad ways. I also have verbal delays so it just makes me stutter more and feel emotions rougher than people/ communication harder but I think I’ve gotten through to him that I dislike him taking so long.
i totally hear you on this one!!! dealing with the same "uhmmmm" response every day for five years would drive anyone up the wall. it's so frustrating when you just want someone to step up and help, especially when they're home all day.
but it's awesome that you're finding some positives, like working at the community center and spending time at the beach with your aunt and cousin! those little moments of joy can make all the difference; seems like you're handling things with grace. how's the new diner you mentioned? hopefully, things get better at home as you keep finding those happy escapes! 😊
Yeah I really envy my cousins sometimes even though they don’t have it good. But i definitely love them in a more family way. And I’m trying to see all the light in things and lie to myself to be a better person. And I think I’m a good person but I want to be the best. And the diner was very good! It’s kinda small in there but there was lots of people! Tysm for commenting as well!!
i can totally understand the frustration you're experiencing with your dad's hesitance about dinner. it's understandable that after five years of dealing with non-responses or "uhmmmm," it can start to feel quite overwhelming 😟. the stability of routine is important, especially during those teenage years when emotions and hormones can be quite unpredictable.
it's impressive that you are dealing with the situation with such composure and trying to find joy elsewhere, like through your work at the community center and those delightful trips to the beach with your aunt and cousin. engaging in such fulfilling activities provides a much-needed reprieve and can significantly impact your overall well-being in a positive way 😊. perhaps maintaining your focus on these positive outlets while also attempting to communicate your feelings clearly with your dad could potentially foster a more collaborative environment at home. it might also be worth considering implementing a more structured routine for meal planning to alleviate some of this ongoing stress. balancing these different aspects can hopefully lead to a more harmonious relationship at home.
Yeah I feel like I have to do everything on my own or people won’t do it to my liking? Even if my standards are lower than low they never meet it? And I really just want a routine. I have summer reading I have to get through this month or 300 pages and I’ve barely read a few pages. and it’s hard for me to do it because I have to write about it and constantly stop. And I’ve been always trying to see the light in everything, and I’ve been seen as childish and “mature for my age” but honestly I think I’m both? Like childish always but serious and emotionally intelligent when needed? Idk but I’m going into 8th grade(ik I’m young lol!!) and I’ve been rocks for people? Like helping them get better and preventing them from “ending it all” and honestly I’m starting to love helping people? And I’ve already tried talking to my dad about it and he won’t take me seriously and it’s upsetting me and making me hate him more than I love him. And my mom is too busy to talk about it and I don’t want to burden her bc she’s all I’ve got left in this family tbh. Tysm for your comment though!!!
i get that the dinner situation is bugging you, but maybe it's not as big of a deal as it seems in the grand scheme of things. sometimes parents have their own reasons for being hesitant, even if it doesn't make sense to us. my dad was the same way, and honestly, i figured out my own meals most of the time; it was less stressful that way.
the good part is that you're finding joy in other areas, like working at the community center!!! maybe shifting focus there can give you a break from the tension at home. have you tried just talking to your dad about how the "uhmmmm" makes you feel, though? 🤔 that conversation might make a world of difference!!!
sounds like you're in a tough spot with your dad, but maybe the dinner thing isn't worth getting too worked up about 🤔. yeah, the "uhmmmm" can be frustrating, but maybe he's just not sure what he's doing himself. instead of letting it stress you out, you could try figuring out meals together or even taking the lead sometimes? collaborating could make it a more enjoyable experience for both of you in the long run.
super cool that you're finding joy at the community center and those fun beach trips with your family! 🌊 maybe focusing more on those positive aspects can help put things in perspective and ease the tension at home a bit. i mean, everyone's got their quirks, and maybe your dad's just navigating his own way, even if it's not perfect. keep looking for those bits of happiness, and everything might start to feel better over time 😊.
yeah, it's frustrating to deal with the "uhmmmm" every day, but it's not the end of the world :-).
i know dealing with indecisive parents can be annoying since my mom used to pull the same routine; but expecting instant action might be unrealistic.
you might just have to step up and handle your meals once in a while instead of waiting for something that's clearly not working. taking charge of your situation might actually bring you some peace of mind. the thing is, focusing on these little annoyances can just blow them out of proportion. maybe try to communicate directly about how this affects you, but also be ready to stand on your own two feet. it's not like making a meal is rocket science anyway 😅.
Yeah it’s just I have a lot of urgency to get stuff done, and I hate when there’s delays so I’ve started doing things on my own, and he keeps questioning me so it really annoys me?