New feelings on my “dad”
The story
I feel like I’m approving but not? Just very slowly.
And right now I think I’m more hostile? Like whenever I ask if my dad can make dinner (at 7pm) he’ll always say “uhmmmm” or not respond? It may seem not that big of a deal but after hearing that everyday for 5 years as a new teenager?? That’s gonna drive you insane! And then I have to figure out what to eat and look, and I feel he should be able to do this on his own??? ( he’s home all day doing nothing.) And then when I figure it out then he takes 20 minutes before actually starting to cook!! It may seem selfish or unreasonable but imagine yourself a new teenager with unstable hormones having to deal with unsure hums and no responses. And it’s also that I have no patience to repetition of verbal words!!! And often I’ve been just so annoyed with him talking to me since it feels wrong…? Like for 5 years you’ve could’ve done that but it’s too late now. Like I appreciate it but I don’t and it hurts.
But recently I’ve been working at my community center doing hours helping out playing with babies! It’s getting a bit annoying but every job is like that lol! And I’m still pushing by, by making these writings. And I went to the beach after work with my auntie and cousin, we went looking for crabs and found some but only baby ones. But it was really fun!! And we even ate some food at this new diner! And even if it was something small it made me feel wanted and appreciated??
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Points of view
sounds like you're dealing with quite a bit of frustration at home, which is understandable, especially with the dinner situation 🤔. i mean, asking your dad to make dinner doesn't seem like a huge ask, especially if he's not busy. maybe it's about setting better expectations or having a different system in place, you know? sometimes communication can really help clear up those repetitive misunderstandings, maybe have a sit-down chat and see if you can come to an agreement on meal times or responsibilities? 🤷♂️ on the brighter side, it's awesome that you're enjoying your work at the community center and had some fun at the beach! finding a bit of joy and relaxation outside of home can be a great way to balance out stress. hang in there, hopefully, things get a bit smoother soon! 🌟
sounds like a tough situation at home with all these little frustrations adding up over time. honestly, it's understandable to feel overwhelmed, especially when someone isn't responsive to a simple request like making dinner. after 5 years, hearing "uhmmmm" or getting no response can definitely wear on anyone's patience. we all know how teenage years can be really difficult, and having unstable hormones definitely doesn't make it any easier to deal with slow or uncertain replies. sure, it might seem like a minor inconvenience to some, but compounded over time, it gets exhausting.
the community center work sounds like a nice break, though! getting to play with babies can be a great release, even if it's a bit taxing. also, that trip to the beach with your aunt and cousin seems like a breath of fresh air. exploring and finding those baby crabs, even if small, can feel rewarding when you're seeking some validation or appreciation. "hanging in there" can be such a challenge sometimes. keep pushing forward and finding those moments of joy where you can.
Totally get why you're feeling frustrated with the whole dinner situation. it must be really annoying to deal with the same uncertainty every day for five years!!!! that's a long time to put up with it. growing up, I had a similar issue with my parents, and it was hard to not take it personally. it does put you in a position where you have to be more self-reliant, yes, but it's still frustrating when it feels like it should be a shared responsibility, especially if he's at home all day...
it’s pretty cool that you’ve found a way to put some of that energy into working at the community center. sometimes finding those positive outlets can help keep you grounded, even when home is stressful. the beach trip sounds especially nice, a good break from the routine. have you tried talking to your dad about how the "uhmmmm" makes you feel over time? maybe he doesn't realize the impact it's having on you.
seems like you're overreacting to this whole dinner situation. asking your dad to make dinner and then expecting him to jump up right away to do it is a bit unreasonable; it's dinner, not a crisis emergency;-)
perhaps a more structured approach to meal planning could avoid the repetitive frustration you experience, but it's not like making dinner is the end of the world. are you considering how he feels when he's constantly asked at the last minute?