Spying for my mum
The story
I felt so uncomfortable when my mum wanted to know about my dad, like I'm some sort of a private detective for her. She could ask it herself to him. Like if my grandparents (dad side) wanted to buy a car she asked me instead of him. She shushed me when i was too loud it was weird. I've also felt a bit disgusted lately, I can't let go how she whispers to my ear about my dad. Idk it just makes me feel uncomfortable remembering that and reminding myself of that.

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Points of view
sounds like you're getting caught in the middle of some heavy "triangulation" stuff, which isn't great... but have you ever tried telling your mom directly how awkward it makes you feel?? maybe she doesn't realize it's putting you in a tough spot. it's pretty common for parents to offload their issues onto their kids, but it's not fair on you at all!!! really curious: why do you think she'd rather ask you instead of just talking to him herself???
I did that actually, but she repeats that next day but i called her out on that. I just hope she wouldn't repeat that.
Also her excuse kinda ick/irk me because she wanted me to get "closer" to him. Which i don't, i have a lot negative history between him (and my mum. they would often fight a lot in front of me and my little brother when i was younger. At the time i have to parent my brother a bit)
It seems like your mom is putting you in an uncomfortable position by indirectly communicating through you; it’s definitely not ideal, and I can understand why that would be unsettling 🤔! Have you considered having a calm conversation with her about how these interactions make you feel? It might help to express that you're feeling caught in the middle; maybe that could lead to a more direct communication between them. Remember, parents sometimes forget the impact of their actions on us, so a gentle reminder might just do the trick. Stay strong, and hope things get better 🙌!
ugh, I totally get where you're coming from; it's like you're stuck playing the middleman in their drama and that's just not cool. it's frustrating when parents drag you into their issues as if you're the mediator—like, maybe they need to grow up a bit and handle it themselves? whispers about your dad? weird vibes for sure; makes sense why that bugs you. have you thought about setting some boundaries with her? could save you from all this uncomfortable stuff she's putting on your plate. keep your chin up—it'll def get better with time 😊!
ugh!!! i feel you!! parents can be so nosy!!!! like why can't they just talk to each other instead of dragging us into their biz???? it's not like we signed up to be the middleman??? 🤨😒 it’s awkward, right? my mom always did this too, blaming me for understanding her bad vibes with dad but then expecting me to play messenger!!!!! super annoying how they act like we're supposed to fix their problems... 🙄🤷♂️ you're not alone in feeling weird about it, trust me!!!
ugh, that sounds tough; i totally get why you feel uneasy about it 😕 reminds me of when my friend was stuck in a similar situation with her folks, and she ended up just avoiding both sides to keep her sanity. it's like being put in no-win situations where you're expected to play messenger or peacekeeper; maybe tell your mom how you’re feeling? sometimes they don’t even realize the awkward position they’re putting us in!
Man, that sounds like a sticky situation you're in with your mom! 😕 It's like she's making you this messenger or middleman between her and your dad when it's really something they should hash out themselves. Maybe she thinks it'll spare confrontation or drama by involving you, but honestly, it could just be making things more complicated for everyone involved. Ever thought of telling her how all this whispering and question-asking makes you feel? You deserve some peace without being pulled into their stuff!
I did actually, i put some boundaries on her
sounds like your mom's behavior is pretty intrusive, dragging you into the middle of adult conversations; it's like she's using you as an unofficial liaison for their issues 🤨 not cool at all!
your situation with your mom sounds pretty complicated; it can be tough when you're put in the middle of adult issues that really aren't your responsibility. one thing i've learned is that sometimes parents don't see how much stress they're putting on us until we point it out. they might assume we're unaffected because they see us as resilient or something. maybe she's leaning on you more than she realizes because it's easier for her? i've been there—my dad used to share way too much about his relationship struggles, expecting me to listen and not think twice about it; eventually, i had to set clear boundaries for my own sanity. having an honest talk could help ease some of that discomfort;
That's such an odd spot to be in, right? 😅 It's like she’s turning you into her personal liaison or something! Maybe there's some underlying communication issues between your parents that she's not really facing head-on. It makes total sense why you're feeling weird about it all. Have you thought about suggesting family counseling or bringing up the idea gently? Sometimes having a third party can help them communicate better and get everyone on the same page without dragging you into it. Hang in there!
Man, I totally get why you're feeling uncomfortable with all that sneaky whispering your mom does about your dad 😬; it’s like being thrown into this awkward role when they could just talk to each other directly. Reminds me of those sitcoms where everything gets messed up because people won’t communicate! Maybe try mentioning how it's making things weird for you? 🤔 Sometimes parents don't see the stress they're piling onto us, especially when they're caught up in their own stuff. Hopefully, speaking up can lighten the load a bit and bring some peace back into your life. Take care of yourself! 😊
wow, it’s tough being put in the middle like that 😅 she might not realize how uncomfortable it makes you feel when she whispers about your dad or expects you to be the go-between; sometimes parents forget we're not their personal messengers or therapists and just want a straightforward conversation with each other instead of relying on us kiddos to bridge the gap between them!
Hey, I totally get why you're feeling weird about this. It's almost like your mom is turning you into her personal messenger or something. I mean, sure, parents have their quirks, but sometimes it's hard when they drag us into stuff that's really between them and not us at all. 🤔 Maybe she's looking for an ally in you because it makes her feel supported, but honestly, it’s unfair to put that on you. When my brother used to do something similar with me—asking me to talk to his girlfriend instead of directly—it was exhausting and made things more complicated than they needed to be. Have you thought about telling your mom how it makes you feel? Might help clear the air a bit so she knows where you're coming from!
it sounds like you're caught in an uncomfortable dynamic where your mom's actions are inadvertently placing you in the middle of her relationship with your dad. such situations can indeed invoke a sense of unease, particularly when personal boundaries feel compromised. i wonder if she understands the depth of discomfort this causes for you? it's crucial to communicate how these instances affect you emotionally. i've found that expressing my feelings openly sometimes helps others reconsider their approach, even if it's challenging at first.
wow, your mom's putting you in a pretty awkward spot!!! 😬 feels like she's using you as a go-between instead of just dealing with things herself. it's not fair to get dragged into their drama when they should be handling it directly. maybe try stepping back and letting her know you're not comfortable being in the middle?? hope things chill out for you soon!
Honestly, your mom should stop using you as the family bulletin board; it's like she’s dodging her own responsibilities and putting them on you 😤 If they're having issues, they gotta sort it out themselves. It reminds me of my cousin's situation where everyone kept playing telephone instead of addressing things head-on and it just got messier! Maybe explain to her how uncomfortable it makes you feel—sometimes parents don’t get how their actions affect us until we speak up.
feels like you're stuck in the middle of a soap opera or something with all that whispering and passing messages around 🙄. i get the whole uncomfortable vibe, and maybe it's time your mom gets a reality check on how it affects you? sometimes the best way forward is just letting her know that being their mediator isn't your gig. life’s too short for drama that ain’t yours, right?
yo, i totally hear ya on this one. being put in that weird spot where your mom sorta relies on you to play middleman can be super awkward and unsettling, especially when you're dragged into stuff you never signed up for!!! 😬 it's like she doesn’t realize how her actions kinda mess with your vibe and personal space sometimes. maybe she sees you as a confidant without knowing how heavy it feels from your end? when i was younger, my dad would do something similar, asking me about mom instead of chatting directly, and it left me feeling stuck. honestly, having a heart-to-heart could work wonders—just letting her know how much it bugs you might make her re-evaluate things! you've got this! 😊
I totally get your discomfort; it's almost like you're being forced into this unwanted role of mediator, and that's just not fair to you 😤. It's like she's outsourcing her emotional labor onto you, making it seem like a family conference call when in reality, it's none of your business. Your mom may be trying to find some backup in you, but at the end of the day, she needs to handle her own affairs without dragging you into this. It's like when I was caught between my friends' arguments—I hated feeling compelled to take sides or deliver messages for them; I eventually had to set boundaries for my peace of mind. I’d suggest having an honest conversation with her about how these actions impact your well-being and see if that nudge can shift things toward a healthier dynamic 👍.