TW // Talk about SH/Suicide | Parents Don't Understand
The story
TW // talk about SH/suicide
Extra info: My parents divorced when I was 4, I've been going back and forth between their houses every week since and once I started driving it became every two weeks
I'm so tired of having to deal with my parents like unironically. They are good people, they've taken pretty good care of me all things considered but they aren't really good at being supportive past a surface level. Neither of them seem to be able to accept the fact that I am mentally disabled, I use the word "can't" a lot when trying to explain how I feel about certain things, especially if it is something that my ADHD gets in the way of and I just get told that I can and to stop saying I can't, then getting blamed for not doing things I've said I can't. (side note but I was actually diagnosed with ADHD as a kid but it was brushed off because "don't all young boys get diagnosed with ADHD?" actually pissed at my mom for that one, and neither of them thought to talk with my councilor about my struggle with schoolwork they just decided to try and make me do it themselves) Not only does ADHD make things a struggle but I'm also depressed and it just adds on to the struggle of things like cleaning my room or basic hygiene, yet my parents don't think I'm depressed. I work for my dad, it's a small company which leads to me being a key employee so when I'm gone it screws things up a decent bit, and I get sick pretty often or just don't feel good due to medical shit (chronic migraines and digestive issues + bad anxiety) so I end up calling in semi frequently. What ends up happening is my dad yells at me and gets pissed whenever I call in sick, perfect example being monday. I got like food poisoning or smth, was throwing up a bunch and had a bad headache on saturday with the throwing up turning into diarrhea, no stomach problems on sunday but the headache stayed, and woke up monday with diarrhea again and the headache being even worse than it was saturday so I called in sick. What ended up happening was my dad got mad at me again, and I got short with him bc I'm kinda fed up with it and told him I figured he'd say that and basically just rhetorically asked why he always blamed me for being sick, and he responded by telling me to stop victimizing myself and that I keep getting sick due to my lifestyle, which mind you my lifestyle is caused by poor mental health that he just doesn't seem to care about. I also have tried to explain how hard it is for me to put effort into things despite wanting to, but I don't think he gets it and I'm not sure if he ever will. I don't want him finding out how bad my mental health really is, but some days when we argue I have an urge to crash out and go off on him, tell him all the shit I'm pissed and annoyed about, be blunt and tell him that it's a struggle for me to get out of bed every day and go to work, or clean my room, or shower, or do anything else because most of my effort is spent trying as hard as I can to stop him and my mom from being the parents that have to bury their own fucking child. I know it's a horrible idea to open up about things to him though, because he views suicide as selfish and told me word for word that he "hates kids that self harm because it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem" and it's shit like that that makes it hard for me to believe he's ever had a genuine mental health crisis despite him telling me he has, because he clearly doesn't know what it's like to have self harm as a coping mechanism because it's the only thing you've found that works, doesn't make things worse, and stops you from doing things you don't want to, or be suicidal not just because you're tired of being the way you are but because you feel like a burden for constantly requesting help yet feeling an inability to use the advice given to you and just making the same mistakes over and over, having constant thoughts about how much better the world and people around you would be if you were gone, feeling like you're just screwing up everyone else's lives, and feeling like everything you do to try and get better or get help just makes it all worse. I just feel like a fucking failure because I have access to things like psychiatrists and therapists, but don't use them and I'm constantly flipflopping between whether I'm just being lazy, whether it's because of my mental issues/trauma, whether I even actually want to get better, etc. I've had my mom help me set up an online appointment but the psychiatrist didn't end up showing up after 30 minutes and I haven't been able to bring myself to make another one. Speaking of my mom, recently she had me fully move in to my dad's house because she's taking my struggles with self care as me disrespecting her, saying that she sees it as me flipping her off and saying fuck you every time she asks me to do something like shower or clean my dishes up and it doesn't get done (usually because I'm either in bed depressed or I'm playing a game with my friends while constantly thinking about needing to throw my trash away and questioning why I'm not throwing it away, sometimes getting to the point where I have literally punched myself trying to get my body to move and throw the trash away)
That's about it for the main cause of my rant, if anyone wants I can get into more issues I have with my parents including specific shit they've done in the past excluding certain details/descriptions that might give away who I am
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Points of view
Man, I totally feel you on this one. It's like dealing with parents who just don’t get it is an uphill battle.
I mean seriously, I had a similar situation when I was younger, and it truly sucked big time—no lie. The constant dismissing of mental health issues by those who should be your biggest supporters is just plain frustrating, honestly.
I don't think they realize how debilitating it can really be, because if they did, they wouldn’t be so harsh all the time, ya know? Yeah, you definitely need a way to get through to them—what’s bothering you—and dealing with health issues on top of ADHD is such a tough gig.
But you gotta hang in there, since things somehow do get better. Been there, done that... Your story resonates with so many people, including me.
Let’s just say—patience is a virtue, and cut yourself some slack. Give it a shot. 🤞
I understand your situation; Dealing with parental dynamics is challenging!!! ADHD and mental health coexist; it’s tough; Your parents seem unaware of the psychological barriers. Had similar experience🤔 You're not disrespectful by struggling with self-care; It's exhausting when mental health isn't acknowledged! My own family sometimes doesn’t get it, either, and it feels frustrating... Maybe finding a therapist who shows up could help? I hope your parents start understanding reality better; Good luck moving forward!!!
I totally get where you're coming from... dealing with parents who don't fully understand mental health is tough😅 ADHD and depression are serious barriers, and I know how frustrating it can be to not feel heard!!!!! It's positive that you're aware of your challenges, and awareness is always the first step, right?😉 I'm sure things will get better with time and persistence; Keep advocating for yourself and seeking help, even when it's hard. You're not alone in this journey, and there's always hope for a brighter tomorrow!!!!! Stay strong!!!!!
There is nothing more rewarding than finding people on the internet who go through exactly what you're going through. Man, Ion know ur name, but here's my advice to you.
Every time my parents ever beat on me or my siblings, hit em with the fuck you. We have too much things to look forward to in life than to listen to our parents constant babbling. Parents don't know how to face thing because it's never occurred to them that it might be a problem. I know some of yo mamas on here looking at some dumb article about how playing video games causes cancer - but my mama just got diagnosed and she's still tryna mess me up! Being depressed fucking sucks. But when it's kind of a given because it's being passed down through genes because your bio crack head mama got all fucked up - you kinda just take whatever shit you can and ride through it.
Most likely, your daddy ain't ever gon listen. And if your mama is kicking you out without even sitting down to talk to you? You know her ass if just as messed as the rest of em, and now it's up to you. Talking to someone - anyone - helps me a lot. So, do that. Journal, draw, anything that makes you feel better.