Why does my dad hate me?
The story
i don’t really know when things started to go sideways between me and my dad, but it’s been like this for a while now. i’m 17, and honestly, it feels like he’s just constantly disappointed in me. it’s like no matter what i do, it’s not good enough. if i get a B, he asks why it’s not an A. if i help out at home, he’ll point out what i missed instead of what i did. i get that parents want the best for their kids, but man, this feels like something else. he talks to my brother like he’s proud of him all the time, even when he does half the things i do. like, does he even realize the difference in how he treats us? i don’t expect a trophy or anything, just maybe a “hey, good job” once in a while wouldn’t hurt. when he gets mad, he doesn’t yell much—he just gives that cold, silent stare that makes you feel like nothing. that’s the worst part, honestly.
i remember once, i spent two weeks working on this art project for school. i even stayed up all night trying to get the shading right, and i thought it came out decent. i showed it to him, kinda hoping for at least a nod or something, and all he said was, “that’s what you stayed up for?” like, bro, come on. it’s just little stuff like that, over and over again. i know i’m not perfect—no one is—but is it really that hard to say something nice for once? sometimes i wonder if he even likes having me around. maybe i remind him of something he doesn’t like, or maybe he just doesn’t vibe with daughters the same way he does with sons. i know that sounds kinda dumb, but it’s crossed my mind more than once. he’s never said anything directly mean, but the way he acts says enough. i try not to let it get to me, but it chips away little by little;
some days i just sit in my room thinking, “what did i do to make him so cold?” and maybe it’s not even about me, maybe he’s just going through his own stuff and i’m taking it personal when i shouldn’t. but how can i not? when someone lives in the same house and barely acknowledges you unless it’s to correct or criticize, it’s hard not to feel like it’s you. i’ve talked to my mom about it a couple times, and she just says “he’s like that” or “he means well,” but like… does he really? i don’t need a perfect dad, just one that doesn’t make me feel invisible. have you ever felt like someone is just tolerating you, not really seeing you for who you are? that’s how it feels. so yeah, i don’t hate him or anything, i’m just tired of trying so hard to be enough. maybe he doesn’t hate me, but if he doesn’t—why does it feel like he does?
Stories in the same category
Points of view
hey, i totally feel you on this; it must be really tough when it seems like nothing you do is ever acknowledged in the way you need. it sounds like your dad might have his own hang-ups, and it sucks that it's affecting how he interacts with you. maybe deep down, he’s genuinely proud but just doesn’t know how to express it; sometimes people have a weird way of showing care, and it ends up hurting more than helping. i know it doesn’t make the situation easier right now, but folks can be complicated and sometimes clueless about the impact of their actions. try to focus on what makes you happy and keep doing your thing, because it sounds like you’ve got a lot of talent and hard work to be proud of;
hey, i totally understand where you're coming from, and it sounds like you're dealing with a really challenging dynamic at home. your feeling of not being seen or appreciated is completely valid, especially when you’re putting in so much effort with your art projects and school work; it's like you're caught in a feedback loop where your contributions are overlooked. i’m curious about your brother’s perspective in all this—is he aware of the imbalance in how you’re being treated? it might be interesting to hear his take on the situation. you’re clearly doing your best, and that's something to be proud of, regardless of how others might be responding.
honestly, it feels like you're taking some of this a bit too personally; parents can be weird like that. i mean, yeah, it sucks not getting the praise you want, but maybe your dad's just old-school and doesn’t know how to show it. my dad was kinda the same way, always pointing out what i didn’t do instead of what i did. i get that it's frustrating, but maybe it's not as deep as you think. if your brother’s getting all the attention, have you thought about asking your dad directly about it? like, just chat with him and see his side of things. it might be worth a shot.😐
wow, it's exhausting when your efforts are constantly overlooked. you honestly deserve some recognition and encouragement, especially with how hard you're working on your art projects and school stuff; i’ve been there, and it sucks when parents just don’t get it. maybe it’s time to show your dad how much it stings when he ignores your hard work? like, i remember when i finally told my mom how her comments made me feel—game changer. do you think having a real convo with your dad might help??? 😊
man, that's rough, and i feel for you. it’s like your efforts are invisible, and that can really sting. you totally deserve some recognition for all the stuff you do. i’ve been in a similar place with my folks, always feeling like i gotta prove myself. sometimes opening up a bit helps; just a simple chat to put things into perspective. have you thought about maybe talking to your dad directly about how you’re feeling? it could be worth a try, and maybe he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it.
"no matter what i do, it's not good enough," is such a relatable feeling. your dad’s attitude is seriously demoralizing and unfair. i've been there, grinding hard only to hear what i missed instead of what i nailed. the silent treatment? that's just next-level rough. maybe he thinks he's pushing you to be better, but it feels like he's just missing the mark. have you thought about calling him out on this? sometimes parents need a wake-up call to see how their words hit home. 🤔
that’s seriously tough, and i kinda agree with your feeling of being overlooked. 😒 it’s like, you put in all this effort and for what? “that’s what you stayed up for?” is such a downer comment. like, seriously? i’ve had moments like that too when i’d finally show off something i worked hard on and get a response that just made me wanna quit. maybe your dad doesn’t get how important it is to be seen and appreciated. want my advice? tell him straight up how it makes you feel, you deserve better. sometimes they gotta hear it directly. 🤷♂️
hey, i see where you're coming from, but maybe you're reading too much into it??? parents can be super clueless sometimes when it comes to showing support. maybe your dad’s got his own stuff going on??? even if it feels like he favors your brother, that doesn't mean he isn't proud of you in his own way. maybe giving him the benefit of the doubt could help ??? sometimes, they just need a little nudge to see things from our perspective. hang in there! you're doing great!
i understand your frustrations, but maybe there's more going on than meets the eye??? parents are complicated and can sometimes focus on the negatives without realizing it. you mentioned, "it's like no matter what i do, it's not good enough," and that’s definitely tough, but sometimes their expectations come from a place of love. they just don’t express it well. perhaps your dad doesn’t even realize the impact of his words. try opening a dialogue or setting boundaries; it might help him see things differently. keep doing what you're doing, you've got this! 😊
i totally understand where you're coming from, and it's really frustrating when it feels like nothing you do is acknowledged or appreciated. your effort in working on that art project, only to receive a dismissive comment, must have been disappointing. it’s reasonable to want some recognition for your hard work, especially when you're trying to do your best in school and at home. the discrepancy in how your dad interacts with you and your brother is unfair, and it's natural to feel hurt by that. have you considered having a straightforward conversation with him about how these interactions make you feel? sometimes, people aren't aware of the impact or see things from a different perspective, and bringing it to light might help create a more supportive environment for you.
wow, i get that you’re feeling ignored, but have you thought about how you’re interpreting things??? “i don’t really know when things started to go sideways,” you mentioned, and that makes me wonder if there's something deeper going on. your dad might not be aware of the disparity in how he treats you and your brother; maybe from his perspective, he's motivating you to aim higher. it might not be intentional neglect; have you tried openly discussing this with him??? sometimes direct confrontation can lead to a clearer understanding of each other's expectations and feelings. 🎨👨👨👧👦
honestly, it sounds like you're putting too much stock in what your dad thinks; sometimes parents just don't get it. “he talks to my brother like he’s proud of him all the time,” you say, but maybe he's trying to push you to achieve more and doesn't realize he's doing it wrong. my dad used to compare me and my sister, and it drove me nuts until I realized he was just clueless about how it affected me. cut your dad some slack, might be he’s unaware of how his actions are impacting you. why not try leveling with him and see if a little chat changes things? 😅
yeah, i totally get what you're saying and it sounds incredibly frustrating. “it's like no matter what i do, it's not good enough,” that's a hard spot to be in. your dad's behavior seems to overlook your efforts entirely, which, frankly, isn’t fair; parents can sometimes fail to appreciate the individuality and unique talents of their children. i’ve been in similar shoes, striving for validation that never came, and it's draining. to be honest, it makes you question your worth and adds a whole lot of unnecessary stress 😒😠. maybe he's got his own issues clouding his ability to see the awesome things you're doing. keep your head up, though, because your talents and hard work deserve recognition, whether he gives it or not 🎨💪.
while it is natural to feel disheartened by the disparity in recognition, have you considered that your father's actions might stem from a lack of communication and not favoritism??? perhaps the differential treatment is not indicative of your father's feelings towards you; rather, it might be a reflection of his own communication shortcomings. sometimes, parents can inadvertently project their expectations without realizing the impact it has. engaging in an open dialogue could potentially bridge this gap and lead to a better understanding of each other's perspectives.