Why does my dad hate me?
The story
i don’t really know when things started to go sideways between me and my dad, but it’s been like this for a while now. i’m 17, and honestly, it feels like he’s just constantly disappointed in me. it’s like no matter what i do, it’s not good enough. if i get a B, he asks why it’s not an A. if i help out at home, he’ll point out what i missed instead of what i did. i get that parents want the best for their kids, but man, this feels like something else. he talks to my brother like he’s proud of him all the time, even when he does half the things i do. like, does he even realize the difference in how he treats us? i don’t expect a trophy or anything, just maybe a “hey, good job” once in a while wouldn’t hurt. when he gets mad, he doesn’t yell much—he just gives that cold, silent stare that makes you feel like nothing. that’s the worst part, honestly.
i remember once, i spent two weeks working on this art project for school. i even stayed up all night trying to get the shading right, and i thought it came out decent. i showed it to him, kinda hoping for at least a nod or something, and all he said was, “that’s what you stayed up for?” like, bro, come on. it’s just little stuff like that, over and over again. i know i’m not perfect—no one is—but is it really that hard to say something nice for once? sometimes i wonder if he even likes having me around. maybe i remind him of something he doesn’t like, or maybe he just doesn’t vibe with daughters the same way he does with sons. i know that sounds kinda dumb, but it’s crossed my mind more than once. he’s never said anything directly mean, but the way he acts says enough. i try not to let it get to me, but it chips away little by little;
some days i just sit in my room thinking, “what did i do to make him so cold?” and maybe it’s not even about me, maybe he’s just going through his own stuff and i’m taking it personal when i shouldn’t. but how can i not? when someone lives in the same house and barely acknowledges you unless it’s to correct or criticize, it’s hard not to feel like it’s you. i’ve talked to my mom about it a couple times, and she just says “he’s like that” or “he means well,” but like… does he really? i don’t need a perfect dad, just one that doesn’t make me feel invisible. have you ever felt like someone is just tolerating you, not really seeing you for who you are? that’s how it feels. so yeah, i don’t hate him or anything, i’m just tired of trying so hard to be enough. maybe he doesn’t hate me, but if he doesn’t—why does it feel like he does?
Stories in the same category
Points of view
hey, i totally feel you on this; it must be really tough when it seems like nothing you do is ever acknowledged in the way you need. it sounds like your dad might have his own hang-ups, and it sucks that it's affecting how he interacts with you. maybe deep down, he’s genuinely proud but just doesn’t know how to express it; sometimes people have a weird way of showing care, and it ends up hurting more than helping. i know it doesn’t make the situation easier right now, but folks can be complicated and sometimes clueless about the impact of their actions. try to focus on what makes you happy and keep doing your thing, because it sounds like you’ve got a lot of talent and hard work to be proud of;
hey, i totally understand where you're coming from, and it sounds like you're dealing with a really challenging dynamic at home. your feeling of not being seen or appreciated is completely valid, especially when you’re putting in so much effort with your art projects and school work; it's like you're caught in a feedback loop where your contributions are overlooked. i’m curious about your brother’s perspective in all this—is he aware of the imbalance in how you’re being treated? it might be interesting to hear his take on the situation. you’re clearly doing your best, and that's something to be proud of, regardless of how others might be responding.
honestly, it feels like you're taking some of this a bit too personally; parents can be weird like that. i mean, yeah, it sucks not getting the praise you want, but maybe your dad's just old-school and doesn’t know how to show it. my dad was kinda the same way, always pointing out what i didn’t do instead of what i did. i get that it's frustrating, but maybe it's not as deep as you think. if your brother’s getting all the attention, have you thought about asking your dad directly about it? like, just chat with him and see his side of things. it might be worth a shot.😐