Why is it never enough?

I am 17 and an oldest daughter. I have always tried my hardest to be a good kid. I get all of my chores done, I do my homework, I take college classes, I help out around the house all the time with cleaning, making dinner, taking care of my siblings, getting them to school on time, and take care of the animals. I have no problem helping out, and picking up tasks that someone else doesn't have time to do, or is too tired to do. I do it without complaining or making a big deal of it. I just get it done. lately I have hardly had any free time. I never get to sit down and actually do something I enjoy without being interrupted. and I don't think I have gotten a full night of sleep in months. my family knows that I get loads of homework, and they know that i am in the middle of my final week for my online college class. they also know that if they don't want to do something, they can make me do it. late I have just been feeling exhausted. I want to help out, but by the time I am done with jobs around the house, I have very little time, and no energy left to get my homework done. I come home, and I do all of my jobs, and as soon as I try to start working on my homework, I get handed a list of other jobs to do. I am not allowed to fight back on those requests, so I do it. I can't help but feel like my family is asking too much of me. they have started to expect me to be able to give 110 percent of myself all the time, and I just can't do it anymore. but I also can't fight back and say no because then I am not a good kid anymore, and then I am nothing. I want so desperately to be the perfect kid. I wonder if it's because I subconsciously believe that if I become the perfect daughter, then I will finally be appreciated. but it seems like no matter how much of myself that i give, and no matter how hard I try, it will never be enough. they will always expect more from me. even when I have nothing left to give. so I try my best to ignore my exhaustion that is always there, and keep going. I just don't know if it will ever be enough, but I don't know how to be anything other than the good kid who doesn't really need worried about or taken care of. even though what I long for the most some nights is for someone to take care of me. but how are the people in my family supposed to take care of me, if they can barely care for themselves? I am just so tired, and I want to be able to do the things that I enjoy doing again. I want to be able to go hang out with my friends every once in a while without being made to feel guilty about not being home to help out. how am I supposed to keep going, and giving more of myself, if I have nothing left to give? how can I find peace and time for myself again without feeling like a terrible daughter?

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