an issue

im 15. ive arguably dealt with more than most people my age do. even with the problem i have, i feel as if it is insignificant due to my privilege.

the main issue here is with a friend? acquaintance? i have. i met them at the beginning of freshman year, and they will be referred to as L. we immediately clicked over music artists we both liked. they began to tell all of their problems to me. wanting to kill themselves, harming themselves, drinking, and (i think) beginning to vape. i, on the other hand, had not dealt with something like this since seventh grade—when i was feeling the same way (minus the drinking and vaping). their issues began to rub off on me at the same time, and at one point we were both suicidal and wanted to do bad things to ourselves. i didnt know this then, but they were slowly isolating me from my friends, and i had begun to think that they were the only person on my side. the prevalent issue at this time was that, whenever we fought (which was often), they'd either set a suicide date where i could see it and mention me, speak about killing themselves to help me, or audibly say/mention that they had cut themselves. after eight months of this treatment, i told one of my other friends (K). this was in an open space, with other people, but i spoke quietly, and she looked concerned. at best. at lunch she insisted i tell our other friends, which i complied, and they all began insisting i tell a counselor about the problems between me and L. i was not convinced for the first two weeks. i only began warming up to the idea when another friend of mine (who was originally a friend of L's) told me that she had the same issues that we (me and L) had. we tell a teacher about this problem. three times. and she does nothing. after a while, L finds out, and we all break apart. now, with all this in mind, i cannot stop wanting to talk to L and just interact. i want them to worry about me, and i want to be their favorite again. this has made me unable to really do anything without thinking about them. i think that i may be jealous or something—checking on their social media and seeing them matching profile pictures with someone else genuinely made me stress out, and i dunno what to do about it.

just wanted to get it off my chest, i guess.

Stories in the same category