an issue
The story
im 15. ive arguably dealt with more than most people my age do. even with the problem i have, i feel as if it is insignificant due to my privilege.
the main issue here is with a friend? acquaintance? i have. i met them at the beginning of freshman year, and they will be referred to as L. we immediately clicked over music artists we both liked. they began to tell all of their problems to me. wanting to kill themselves, harming themselves, drinking, and (i think) beginning to vape. i, on the other hand, had not dealt with something like this since seventh grade—when i was feeling the same way (minus the drinking and vaping). their issues began to rub off on me at the same time, and at one point we were both suicidal and wanted to do bad things to ourselves. i didnt know this then, but they were slowly isolating me from my friends, and i had begun to think that they were the only person on my side. the prevalent issue at this time was that, whenever we fought (which was often), they'd either set a suicide date where i could see it and mention me, speak about killing themselves to help me, or audibly say/mention that they had cut themselves. after eight months of this treatment, i told one of my other friends (K). this was in an open space, with other people, but i spoke quietly, and she looked concerned. at best. at lunch she insisted i tell our other friends, which i complied, and they all began insisting i tell a counselor about the problems between me and L. i was not convinced for the first two weeks. i only began warming up to the idea when another friend of mine (who was originally a friend of L's) told me that she had the same issues that we (me and L) had. we tell a teacher about this problem. three times. and she does nothing. after a while, L finds out, and we all break apart. now, with all this in mind, i cannot stop wanting to talk to L and just interact. i want them to worry about me, and i want to be their favorite again. this has made me unable to really do anything without thinking about them. i think that i may be jealous or something—checking on their social media and seeing them matching profile pictures with someone else genuinely made me stress out, and i dunno what to do about it.
just wanted to get it off my chest, i guess.
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sounds like you're dealing with some heavy shit. honestly, sometimes we forget how much the people around us can affect our mental health, especially when it feels like they're pulling us into their chaos. i've been there too, getting caught in a similar toxic friendship. it can be addicting 'cause you start to feel like you can't live without that drama, even if it's messing you up inside. maybe consider steering clear of L's social media for a bit; it might give you the space you need to breathe and figure out your own stuff without all that noise. remember, taking care of yourself isn't selfish...it’s essential!!
It sounds like you're caught in a toxic cycle with L. You deserve better than being manipulated like that, and it seems like getting distance was the right move. Focus on rebuilding your connections with positive people.
part of me wonders if this could be a kind of codependency; growing up i had a friend who was just like L, always pulling me into their drama and making it feel like they couldn't survive without my constant attention.
man, that's a lot to carry at 15. it sounds like you've been through some really intense stuff and honestly, it's tough when friendships get tangled up with those heavy emotions. but here's the thing: sometimes wanting to go back is just the pull of wanting familiarity not necessarily what's healthy; i had something similar in middle school where i felt tied to someone who wasn't good for me. your emotions are valid, just remember there's a difference between missing someone and needing them; you took steps by telling your friends and teacher so that's something to be proud of even if it didn't turn out perfect. maybe try focusing on building healthier connections or finding things that bring you joy outside of this situation…
You know, it's crazy how a toxic friendship can wrap you up so tight that even when you're out of it, it's like they've got this invisible hold on your brain; you're not alone in wanting the attention and validation back, because I've totally been there feeling all mixed-up.
Honestly, it's so easy to get tangled up in someone else's problems when you're feeling vulnerable yourself, and L definitely knew how to manipulate that vulnerability for attention.
hey i get that it's hard when you've had such a close bond with someone and then things go sideways. i've been there too, and it kinda leaves you second guessing yourself, right? maybe you feel like you can fix things or need them to notice you again? but sometimes moving forward without that person is healthier even if it's tough.
yeah exactly, it's tough to just move on sometimes though
damn, this situation sounds rough. honestly, it's like you're getting sucked into a black hole of emotional drama with L and it ain't healthy. there's something messed up about wanting to be their fave again despite the chaos they bring. maybe it's that feeling of being needed or important to someone? but seriously, your energy is better spent on people who uplift rather than drag you down. try focusing on stuff that makes *you* happy without L in the picture; it might help clear your mind from all this stress and confusion!!!
It really does sound like a challenging situation. When I was around your age, I had this friend who always seemed to be tangled up in their own issues, and somehow, it felt like my responsibility to help them through it all. It's so easy to get emotionally invested in someone else's struggles when you care about them. But at some point, I realized that it was affecting my mental health too much. Maybe set small goals for yourself to focus on things you enjoy or spend time with other friends who bring out the best in you! It's important to find a balance where helping others doesn't come at the cost of your own well-being..
yo, i totally feel where you're coming from;; that kinda situation can be so messed up and confusing. i've been there myself with a friend who was dragging me into their whirlwind of problems. it's like you get trapped in this loop of wanting to help while getting pulled down with them??? ur not alone in feeling torn about wanting their attention back though. at the end of the day, you gotta do what's right for your mental health first; give yourself time to figure things out away from that influence maybe?? don't let anyone make you think less of what you've gone through just 'cause u feel privileged; every struggle is valid 🤷♂️
it sounds like L's been taking a lot out on you and kinda dragging you into their mess...reminds me of this person I knew who did the same, made it real hard to see straight; when someone mixes up your head like that it can be tough to pull away, even when you know it's healthier for you. maybe think about how you've already started carving your own path by talking with friends and letting a teacher know. focusing on what makes you feel good outside of everything could help loosen that grip a bit more...
idk this L person sounds kinda manipulative u kno? maybe its best to let em go but jus wonderin why u still want them around
it's wild how friendships at that age can get so intense and consuming, right?
It's like you're stuck in a psychological game of musical chairs where L made you feel indispensable, and now that the music's stopped, you're left without a chair; seriously, analyzing why their validation means so much to you could be enlightening.