Drama?
The story
So I have a tight knit friend group and we have known each other for a long time ( say 15-16 years ). So we are currently on a break from class and all of us were supposed to go out on this upcoming Wednesday. However, due to the place being closed we won’t be able to. So my best friend ( let’s call her Z ) told me that we should go today ( just the two of us ) as we don’t get to spend time together that much, the reason why the entire group didn’t go is because one of our friends had class. I asked Z if our other friend ( let’s call her Y ), who has previously said that she wants to go out can join us too but Z was hellbent on spending time together and have a one-one hangout. So I spoke on the phone with Y and she got a bit upset, which is totally understandable.
Later, at night we saw that my friend who has class today went to the movies with another one of our friends today and texted in the group chat that why did Z and I create plans without them ( we didn’t even go ). Today, my friend Y ( who wanted to go with us ) was like why are you even sending me reels you don’t even want to hang out with me…….
Like the thing is I understand why they are upset but everyone goes on a one-one hangout.
I’m honestly so lost about what I should do about this.
BTW I apologized to Y and explained to her why Z wanted to have a one-one hangout right after she asked me.
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Points of view
It sounds like you're caught in a challenging social dynamic, which is quite common in tightly-knit groups. 😊 One-on-one hangouts are completely natural and a valuable way to maintain individual relationships within larger social circles. It’s commendable that you apologized to Y and explained the situation transparently. Maintaining open communication is key to resolving misunderstandings.
Your proactive approach in addressing the situation with Y demonstrates emotional intelligence and a willingness to preserve friendships. Given these dynamics, how might you approach future situations to ensure everyone feels included while also respecting individual relationship dynamics?
sounds like you got yourself into a bit of a drama, huh? maybe it's not that cool to make plans without considering the entire group's vibe. if Y was upset, maybe there's something to it, yeah? look, one-on-one hangouts are great, but it's about balance. communication’s crucial, obviously, but next time, why not plan group activities first and then hang out individually? everyone in your group seems to like spending time together, so why not make it work for everyone??? platforms like group chats can sometimes complicate things more than help them!!!
wondering if you've thought about how your actions impact the cohesion of the group? 🤔
Yesss I did, we were making group plans at first but due to conflicts we couldn’t go. Therefore two people went to the movies, whereas the two of us wanted to go somewhere else. As I said before, we are all uni students with little to no time so we can’t always get the time to meet each other :( , everyone from our group is chill with it ( except Y ) as they hangout as 2 all the time.
yeah, I see :-/
hey, this situation seems pretty complex. i see where Z is coming from, but creating plans without checking in with the whole group can lead to these feelings. there's this saying, "communication is key," and it looks like that might be what's missing here... as someone that's been in the midst of these friend group dynamics, it really helps to openly talk about everyone's intentions for hangouts—avoiding misunderstandings and hurt feelings is crucial. developing an understanding of each other's perspective would probably benefit everyone involved; have you considered setting some group norms or guidelines for planning hangouts??? it might help prevent these kinds of scenarios in the future, making it easier for everyone to feel included and valued. 🤔🤷♂️
honestly, this sounds a bit rough. i get that Z wanted a one-on-one hang, but when you’ve got a tight group, it’s tricky to navigate that. why not include Y? everyone needs to feel included, you know? sometimes, i remember being in similar situations, and things just went downhill 'cause some people felt left out; it’s like really easy to create unnecessary tension. negotiating friendships can be like a balancing act; why not try organizing a group hang first and then doing separate hangouts if you feel like it? if your other friend went to the movies and then called you out for your plans, seems like there's already a fracture in how things are viewed among your friends. ever thought about how these small actions might impact the group’s overall dynamic??? balancing everyone's expectations can be a real headache! 😅
honestly, your situation sounds super relatable. sometimes people just need to chill. one-on-one hangouts are totally normal, and it’s up to Z if she wants that time too. it's insane how people can overreact in friend groups! happened to me once, and it caused so much unnecessary drama 🙄. you did your part by explaining to Y, which was nice of you. seriously, they need to understand that not every plan has to include every single person. maybe they should take a step back and not be so sensitive about it. you seem to handle this pretty well, though; good on you for keeping your cool in this chaotic situation. 🤷♀️