Friends to nothing
The story
So I dated a guy in my first year of uni, and we broke up kind of mutually trueing summer break as we were living in different places for summer jobs and I felt like I needed time to figure out who I was (I was 18, who doesn’t). Me, him, and this other girl were quite good friends in first year, she was my best friend. In the fall I got a feeling she was maybe hooking up with him.
Also a bone to pick with my ex: he said one time that girls and guys can’t be friends outside of romantic partnerships. I had then asked him about said female friend to which he said she was the exception (while we were dating). I didn’t ask but after working on homework one night, I left her apartment and she texted me to come back because she was upset. She told me she hooked up with my ex, but it was just a one time thing no feelings involved. I’m hurt that she didn’t tell me before that it was a thing. I learn later from mutual friends that it has been going on for weeks at this point many times. We spent a lot of time alone together so there was definitely times to tell me. I was hurt that she didn’t tell me, then lied to me then didn’t care. To make things worse we are in the same program so are together in every class.
After this I swear she’s trying to be me. I change my Instagram profile pic to a picture of me as a baby, and she did the same right after. She would show my friends music of artists she thought they’d like, but they were artists I introduced her to. She liked one of my travel Instagram account pictures that she didn’t follow, months after we stopped talking (there are 10 people that like pics on that account) compared to hundreds on my main. She just makes me mad now. They didn’t date for the first while hooking up bc he didn’t want a relationship but eventually she gave him a we’re dating or ending this thing. So they’re dating now, and have dated longer than me and him did.
Also quite a while later in the future, my ex messages me a reel (they’re still dating). Not the weirdest thing but he hadn’t in like 8 months. And she also would not love him messaging me. We hadn’t spoken at all for a long time. And it happened to be on the day we started dating. I feel like there is a slim chance he remembers that but it was weird. Anyways, thanks for listening.
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Points of view
Wow, that's seriously messed up!! I totally get why you're upset. It's like a betrayal on multiple levels, your so-called best friend and an ex, sneaking around and lying to you; And seriously, who does that?? At the very least, she could have had some basic human decency to give you a heads up, rather than playing these childish games. Seems like she's got some serious identity issues if she's just trying to be a copycat of everything you do—what a lack of originality!!! You definitely deserve way better friends and relationships than that. Been in a similar situation myself, and it’s honestly liberating once you cut toxic ties.... Trust me on this! It’s a great time to focus on yourself and your own ambitions, rather than getting involved in their drama.
You're better off without that unnecessary stress, and better opportunities will definitely come along... Keep your head up, and don't let them get to you! You’ve got so much potential to explore!!!
Hey, I see where you're coming from, but try to see it from another angle. Maybe she just got caught up in the moment and didn’t know how to tell you. Honesty can be hard, especially when feelings are involved.
Not saying it’s cool what they did, but sometimes people just make poor choices. Maybe she’s not trying to be you but is just naturally influenced by someone close—kind of like how we pick up catchphrases from friends. Happened to me once, and it was totally unintentional.
I know it’s not easy dealing with this, but the past can’t be changed. Focusing on yourself might just be the best move here. Hope it all works out for you.
hey there, i totally feel where you're coming from! it's super shady when someone you trust, like a friend, goes behind your back; it's like they forgot the golden rule of friendship which is basic honesty and respect 🤨 you deserve folks who are real and keep it 100% because trust is hard to regain once it's lost when i found out a friend did something similar it really hurt and takes time to get over it's true when they say "actions speak louder than words" right? it's messed up that she tried acting like it wasn't a big deal when really it was a trust-breaker i hope you find better people who appreciate and support you because everyone needs that solid crew who has your back through thick and thin 💪 hang in there and focus on surrounding yourself with those who lift you up life's too short to let people bring you down!
hey, i get why you're upset, but maybe there's something you're missing. when it comes to relationships, things are not always so black and white. it sounds like your ex and friend got close after you and your ex split, which isn't great timing but isn’t necessarily a betrayal. remember the saying, "two sides to every story"; sometimes we get caught up in our own perspective and miss the bigger picture. i've had times when i thought someone was trying to one-up me, but it turned out to be just a coincidence. maybe she wasn't trying to be you but just admired some of the things you shared. it's tough to see people you cared about move on, but try and focus on yourself and the fresh starts ahead. there’s always room for growth and new connections.
i have to say, it sounds like you might be reading a bit too much into the situation 🤔. the intricacies of interpersonal relationships often lead to misunderstandings, and it seems like you're framing this as a personal slight when it could merely be an unfortunate convergence of circumstances. remember that "everyone has their own battle to fight," and perhaps your ex and your friend found solace in each other, which is not an indictment of your worth. rather than focusing on perceived betrayals, consider the possibility that their actions were not intended to mirror your life or undermine your happiness. concentrating on your well-being and aspirations will likely yield more fruitful outcomes than dwelling on these past occurrences. embrace the opportunity for growth and allow yourself to move forward with renewed focus and ambition 😊.