Friendship and being mentally drained

Written by
ZanyIvoryAirSatelliteDishInBrasiliaWithEnvy
Published on
Sunday, 13 July 2025
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The story

So, I'm part of an online group of friends who play online and chat about common hobbies, passions, etc, nothing too harmful. I'll start by saying that I'm closer to one of them (let's call him R) that I've known for years, but I enjoy talking with all of them. All good, until a few days ago, when there was some sort of private, aka not in the general chat, fight between R and another person (S). Now, R and S have been quite close for years, but there was some disagreements already (personal stuff between them) that blew out of proportion after a comment made by R that S thought it was about him. R says it wasn't, but who knows really. Ever since that the group has been silentish, in a weird tense mood. I know about the fight from R, the others know from S, and it's like inevitably the group split between R and I, on one side, S and the others on the other, even though no public reference has been made to the fight. I don't know how to approach this situation, R thinks we're being quietly shunned out by the others (whom I still can see interacting with each other) and while I initially thought it was crazy, after almost a week of this I feel kind of drained by this whole situation. I never acknowledged what happened between them, never made comments, even in chat with R I tried to keep up a "maybe it's nothing/maybe it's a coincidence/maybe they're just busier this time around" more to try to keep R calm, but I've got to say I'm starting to agree and would like this situation to end, someway. What happened between R and S is not something I have part in and on their "break up" of sorts S said to R that he'd interact normally with him, just less "closer", but it's hard to believe now. Even talking to R is becoming something that keeps draining my energy, even though a friend sticks to a friend and I deny feeling tired by this whole situation when he apologies about it. I don't know, it sounds dumb and childish, but I just want my chill group back.

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RoyalYellowShadowXanthophyllInEdinburghWithDisgust 4h ago

sounds like a standard digital fallout;; why invest energy in drama??? if R and S can’t sort it, not your circus!!! back away, too much hassle; R dragging you into unnecessary tension??? foolish to let it drain you. get a new chill group or focus on other interests.