I am invisible

I hate my friendgroup. I'm talking to one friend, ok, and we're just chilling. Then one of my other friends come over and it's like I don't even exist anymore. Some are worse than others (Friend list follows: A, B, M, T, H, J, A2), like B will comepletely ignore me and then start yapping with H and T like nothing happened, and J and A are better, although once they start talking about Genshin Impact I'm gone in the background again. A2 is the only friend I have that doesn't make me feel invisible, and I cherish her for that. Right now I'm sitting in Band Class and T and B (the only friends I have in band) are sitting halfway across the room, talking to each other. They haven't glanced my way once, and only T has spoken to me and it was only briefly until she saw B sitting over there and moved to talk to him. I just hate being invisible. Why is it ME who has to be invisible? like, me and B used to be best friends. What in the world happened? Was it The Great Split, as I've taken to calling it? (that was when our friendgroup split into two parts, I've talked about the split on here before, it's not exactly a new thing.) B, T, and H are all on the same half... is that why they won't talk to me? But they still talk to the rest of our half, I see them talking with A, J, and M all the time. So what is it with me that I'm just invisible to them? and it's not just them, I'm invisible to my own half as well. I talk with A and J and M a lot more than I talk with the other three, but I'm kind of invisible to M a lot, and as I said before, once A and J bring up Genshin Impact there's no point in trying to be visible anymore. And not to mention the fact that I sometimes third wheel A and M. (they're dating.) I cherish all my friendships, but it seems like a lot of them are ending and there's nothing I can do about it except just watch as everything crumbles and dies. I'm forever alone, except when A2 is there. She's awesome. But I swear I can't anymore with this friendgroup. My legs are covered in fresh scars, because at night I can't see the light at the end of this ridiculously long tunnel. My story may come to an end sooner than I'd like to admit. All I want right now is someone's loving arms around me, telling me that things will be ok, that things will go back to the way they used to be, that I'll never be invisible again, that time is going to rewind to the good old days when nobody was invisible and nobody was depressed and everybody was heard and loved and supported but I don't have that person telling me all those things so nothing will be ok nothing at all and I just can't take anymore my story needs to end and when it does everyone will go back and read it and say "good riddance, that story was horrible" and they won't miss me and I can tell they're all waiting to see the end and I just can't do this anymore and if I can't end my story I'll continue it somewhere that isn't SC.

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