i have no one to trust with my secrets anymore

Written by
FrolickingNavyLightPleniluneInBangkokWithExcitement
Published on
Thursday, 18 September 2025
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The story

Trigger Warning: this post has the topic suicide in it.

im in love with this guy right? i think hes too cause hes like really nice to me and he jokes all the time that he likes me.

so a few weeks ago things got out of hand and i was super suicidal. i told him that i probably was going to kill myself soon. that was idiotic of me. he told the police and now i have to follow MORE therapy. which in turn makes me more suicidal. ironic i know. that thought me to not trust him with my thoughts anymore.

then his friend reached out to me. i told him the same stuff. he told him. ive talked to him multiple times about stuff in my life and everytime ekko (the guy i like) somehow knows about it. ive accused him of it multiple times. and multiple times he told me its true. last time (just now) he ignored it.

ive got no outlet anymore. i dont know if i even want to trust anyone anymore. it sucks you know. ive trusted way too many times and way too many times that trust has been broken.

and please dont try to feel sympathy for the whole suicidal thing. ive heard the blah blah "i get it" slop before way too many times. ive been trough 3 therapist now and im pretty sick of it.

thanks for reading. sorry if i seem like a dick right now. i have that sometimes

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Points of view

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AwesomeForestGreenWaterToasterInCairoWithContentment 1h ago

Hey there. Look, I totally get your frustration, and it seems like you're caught in a loop where trust feels impossible. It's rough when the people you think have your back end up making things worse. But maybe, just maybe, Ekko was genuinely concerned for your safety and did what he thought was best—even if it doesn't feel that way to you right now. 🤔 I've been in a similar spot where my emotions were misinterpreted by those around me; felt like the world’s against me. Just remember, it's okay to set boundaries and find someone who'll respect them—even if therapists haven't worked out so far—and talking things through might help lighten the emotional load somehow. Stay strong!

Author 1h ago

idk if ive already pointed this out in my post but i cant talk about my emotions. ive got no one to trust. ekko would just call the higher upps or something and his friend would just tell him and then ekko would still do the same.