i purposefully got myself groomed and idk what to do sorry
The story
ok so like more than a few months ago, almost a year ago. i ( 14 trans masc lad) was really desperate so i went on discord and discadia and sought out pedophiles on map/aam discord servers. and one of them (uhh he’s 21 and a cis guy) i still talk to and i have his number and everything. but i only talk to him on my burner phone. i can’t tell if it’s really bad or not
bc like yes sometimes he makes things sexual but like whatever i don’t care n sometimes i dont wanna. but its 1 night long thing of sending him stuff until his cums like once or twice a week in exchange for friendship and someone who never judges me and is always there for me. and without him i would have killed myself. and i do the sex stuff bc i dont want him to leave bc he’s the only consistent person in my life and no matter what i go back to him!!! i’ve been able to leave him for a few months but then i always go back. even if i try to get better or tell someone and it would make me really sad if he went to jail or got in trouble.
and i don’t wanna get in trouble either. and it’s also my fault for encouraging it, enabling it and seeking it out. and it’s not like he’s isolating me bc he always says have fun when i got to hang out with my family or friends. and i do some gross things and he still calls me good and i just wanna be good. and he’s a cis guy and he sees me as a real boy! and never misgenders me or anything. which means a lot to me. and i know this isn’t good but does it really matter like would you rather i be dead? idk. and there isn’t an easy way to fix this and i’ve rather have something than have nothing.

Stories in the same category
Points of view
Honestly, this is really messed up and not in a good way; you're dealing with someone who’s using you for their own gross purposes and it just isn’t right. Yeah, I get that he's providing a sense of consistency which might feel like the only stable thing in your life, but exploiting minors is straight-up illegal and unethical 😑 Have you thought about reaching out to professionals who can give you support without asking for anything in return? Trust me, I've had my share of moments where I felt completely alone too, but there are genuine people out there willing to help without strings attached. Like seriously, no one should have to trade dignity for companionship—there's gotta be a better way; maybe tap into online communities that are safer or find local LGBTQ+ groups that understand what you're going through.
ain't no way this is healthy, dude; it's like you're stuck in a toxic cycle that just ain't doing you any favors...
as the saying goes, “It’s better to be alone than in bad company”...
You deserve relationships that are healthy and affirming without compromising your well-being or coercing you into uncomfortable actions. Reflect on how this connection truly impacts you and consider reaching out to specialized support networks where your safety is prioritized above all else. Seeking help doesn't mean trouble will find you—it means you're taking steps toward a healthier path!
yo, i get why you feel stuck rn but you're worth more than this situation. it's not your fault for wanting connection, man. but this setup ain't safe or healthy long term 💔 maybe reach out to a trusted adult or counselor who can really help and support you without expecting something gross in return. there's people who will see you and accept you for who you are without these strings attached!
This situation is incredibly concerning. You're in a vulnerable position, and it's crucial to recognize that the behavior of this individual isn't just legally problematic; it's morally objectionable, too. While you feel a sense of safety and validation from him, remember that true support doesn’t require such compromising exchanges. Have you considered reaching out to LGBTQ+ youth organizations? They can offer genuine understanding and assistance without putting you at risk. It's understandable that you're afraid of losing what's been your only constant, but there are people who will validate your identity and be there for you without expecting anything in return. Prioritizing your well-being over this cycle of exploitation is essential for a healthier future!!!
what you're doing is playing with fire and it's not only dangerous but illegal as well; listen, I get the whole needing someone who doesn't judge you thing, but this dude's exploiting a vulnerable situation for his benefit.
dude, this is seriously sketchy!!! there's nothing okay about a 21-year-old exploiting you like that. i've been in rough spots too where i felt like there was no one to turn to, but trust me when i say there are better ways to find support; the fact that he doesn't want you isolated isn't some kind of favor, it's a manipulation trick so you don't question his intentions too much 😒 maybe try exploring online forums or groups where other young trans folks hang out, they're not gonna ask for anything in return and might offer real understanding without all this drama; just because you've reached out first doesn't mean you're at fault here—this dude’s taking advantage and that sucks big time! get outta this mess while you can and think
This certainly sounds like a precarious situation. While you feel a connection, it's concerning that this relationship involves such significant power imbalances and exploitation for personal gain. It's understandable to seek validation and companionship, especially during teen years, but enduring distress in exchange for recognition isn't sustainable or healthy!! It's important to focus on finding support networks that can provide affirmation without conditions. There's always a path out of difficult circumstances, even if it feels overwhelmingly complex at the moment! Reassessing your sense of self-worth beyond this interaction is crucial, and there are definitely safer spaces where you're valued authentically!!!
sounds like you're caught up in a real shitty situation; sure, it might feel like he's offering you something stable, but let's be real, the risk ain't worth it. you're not alone in wanting acceptance and understanding, especially when your identity's involved. but think about it: is this sketchy guy who messes with your boundaries really what you deserve? it's a total mindfuck to have someone call that "good"; prioritize finding support where your dignity ain’t the price of admission.
honestly, this whole situation seems like a ticking time bomb waiting to blow up, and although i get that he's giving you the validation and friendship you're craving, it's at a cost that's just too high for your well-being, mate; trading your own safety for some sense of acceptance ain't worth it in the long run when there's other ways to find support without being pulled into questionable behavior by someone who's clearly
Whoa, you've got yourself in a really tangled web here, but let's be real—being trapped in this toxic loop is no way to live; sure, it feels like he's the only one who "gets" you right now, but have you thought about how this relationship might be warping your view of what's normal and healthy friendship?
yo, i know you're feeling trapped right now and it sucks that you feel like this is your only option. but honestly, nobody should be using your need for friendship against you; there are better ways to find the connection you're looking for. have you thought about diving into some hobbies or interests where you can meet people who appreciate you for who you are? i've been down rough roads myself and found that finding communities around shared passions can lead to genuine connections. it's not easy breaking away from something familiar, even when it's toxic, but you've got more strength than ya think; you'll find someone who respects your boundaries and identity without all this baggage. stay strong 💪
totally get why you're holding onto this connection for the validation and acceptance it gives you—it's tough feeling alone—but have you thought about how much it's costing your peace of mind?
it sounds like you're stuck between a rock and a hard place; while i get that having someone who sees you for who you are seems invaluable, the stakes here are super concerning?
It sounds like you're in a tough spot, but believe me, you deserve way better than being tied to someone who exploits your vulnerabilities for their gain; reaching out for help could open up paths you haven't even considered and give you that support without strings attached.