My friends love the girl who made my life hell
The story
I have been friends with jemma for a very long time, or at least over 2 years. This past summer she invited me to join her at her church's sleepaway summer camp, which was around 5 days long. I agreed, thinking that it would be a great bonding experience and a way to get closer to God. Some context, I new only 3 other people going, none of which I was friends with.
We get on the bus to go to the camp and not even an hour into the bus ride I am sitting alone, jemma decided to hang out with a group of kids in a circle a little ways behind me. I only knew 1 guy out of all of these kids, lets call him caleb. He noticed that jemma had been kinda excluding me and called her out on it and invited/demanded me to join us in the circle, this was really nice of him, he even introduced me and made sure I was participating in the conversation. But jemma still wouldn't talk to me, she instead was completely focus on hanging out with some people she only met an hour ago, she's very extroverted and charistmatic, which works wayyyy in her advantage.
We get to the camp and jemma convinces me to bunk not in our assigned room, but with 7 other girls in a different room. The next day she ends up telling me that her and one of the girls are going to move into abbigale's room. They had been planning this allllll day, and only told me right before they finished packing up their stuff. She asked if i wanted to move rooms to, and because I literally knew nobody else there, of course i said yes. It didn't end up mattering anyways because the church leaders caught everybody switching rooms and made us move back to our original rooms.
Later that same day we went to the chappel, for our evening service. Our church plays a lot of music, and we all like to sing along infront of the stage. The thing is that jemma would walk away from me with these other girls, so i would be left alone the majority of the time. After the service jemma and this girl sophie, who was actually really nice, convinced me to walk around with caleb and this guy jemma liked. caleb and this other guy went back to their cabins to grab hoodies for us, cuz it was raining and we didn't want our hair getting all soaked, sweet right? Yeah, until you remember there are 2 guys and 3 girls.
I'm pretty sure you can quess how that turned out....
So I ended up getting soaked as we all walked around the campgrounds, which was basically a bunch of cabins in the middle of a secluded forest, at night. Eventually me and sophie get separated from everybody else, cuz we were talking to caleb's step-mom who was a volunteer there. The entire time we were walking around the camp, about an hour, they were all walking in a line next to each other. And guess where i was. Behind all of them. The guy jemma liked noticed i was kind of excluded and maybe i looked down so he asked if i was okay, and you know what jemma said, yeah, shes just quiet....
WHAT! THE! HECK!
Anyways me and sophie make it back to the hotel the girls were staying at and we were told that we needed to move back to our original rooms, my stuff was already packed up so i moved to my original room immediatly. Jemma still wasn't back, and we had a curfew, that she definetely didn't follow. She never ended up coming to our original room, instead she moved to the room with abbigale, with the girl she said was also moving with her. She somehow convinced the leader to not only let her move, but also let the other girl. Apparently there wasn't enough room left in the room for me, also apparently the girl you met not even 2 days ago takes priority over the girl you have known for 2 years....
Basically she brushed me off the next day and as the week goes on i hang out with other people, because every time i hung out with jemma i was excluded, which was something i was used to. She would exclude me allllll the time when we would hang out before this. But this was too far. Then she got mad at me for not hanging out with her, and hanging out with people who didn't exclude me. Like be sooooooo for real. I even invited her to hang out with me and my new friends on the last day because i knew she was really mad at me, which was completely uneccessary on my part, and she then told me that she was just planning on napping during the free time....instead she got an entire makeover with fake lashes and cornrows....which was an interesting choice because both me and her are WHITE white, but i can't really have an opinion on that.
The worst part was that at the end of camp the people in the room the me and jemma had moved into the first night found jemma's hoodie (we have matching ones) on the bathroom floor, and they almost had to throw it out because she didn't come to pick it up until right before we had to leave.
I end up sitting with sophie on the ride home and we had a good time. But when we got to the church and i saw my parent's she acted like we had soooo much fun together at camp and hugged me and told me she loved me and was going to miss me, but it was only because we were right in front of my parents....
I tried contacting her a little after camp to talk things through and instead of apologizing she blamed it on her feeling "off" the entire time we were at camp and tried to flip it around to me having more fun with another one of my friends than i do with her, which honestly came out of nowhere. I end up informing all of my friends about this and a week or 2 into the new school year we all decide we are going to distance ourselves from her.
Well 2 months later and they are all joking around with her, inviting her to their parties, and telling her everything i told them in confidence.
Yesterday i found out from my sister that jemma was telling people that i was "following her around like a dog" at camp.
Woooooowwwwwww
way to blame the victim....anywayssss. I told all of my friends this today and guess what, nobody cared. They all still hung out with her after school, made jokes with her, and probably even told her what i said to them. I love my friends but the thing is that jemma introduced me to these friends, so i can't expect them to not be friends with her any more. She can be really manipulative, like she has done realllyyyy bad things to these friends too but they just tolerate it.
I have this one friend ash, and she supports me wholeheartedly with the jemma thing, but she is also really mean at the same time. Like when i tried to vent to her about the new thing with jemma she just brushed me off and proceeded to tell me that she "is always secretly judging me", she can also get really defensive, for instance one day i asked if she could refrain from teasing me that day because i was feeling really down. Later that day i hear that she was telling me friends that when i "snapped at her the morning it ruined her entire day".
She also tends to make fun of the clothing i wear and my physical appearance, and whenever i say ANYTHING she just tells me "oh my gosh that sounded so fake", like gurl i was just saying goodbye to my neighboor, what are you talking about. but it makes me really self concious. I just feel like friends should lift you up, not drag you down.
This one was realllly long, so sorry for that, but if you ended up reading all of this thank you! I've just been feeling really insecure in my friendships recently, so if any of you guys have tips on how to navigate this, with jemma, or my friends, or with ash, that would be amazing!
Stories in the same category
Points of view
ugh, that's a seriously shitty situation to be in 🤦♂️; it's incredibly frustrating when people you thought were friends turn out to just use you for convenience. sounds like jemma thrives on the drama and enjoys manipulating situations to make herself look good while leaving others in the dust. your so-called friends seem more interested in staying on her good side rather than supporting you, which is lame as hell. maybe it's time to reassess those relationships and surround yourself with people who truly have your back instead of playing two-faced games; remember, real friends lift each other up, they don't tear them down.
Wow, that's quite a mess you've found yourself in with Jemma and your other friends. It's tough when someone you've trusted for so long ends up making you feel excluded and brushed aside. I've been there too, stuck between wanting to salvage a friendship and realizing it might not be worth the effort. Sometimes it's better to step back from the drama and focus on people who genuinely value and respect you; sounds like Ash throws shade, but maybe she's just not great at showing support? Maybe give her another shot 🤷♀️
dang, sounds like a rough ride; it's tricky when someone you count on flips the script like that. jemma seems to be putting her popularity over real friendships, which ain't cool. have you thought about trying to just talk one-on-one with ash without all the drama from the group? she might not realize how her words are affecting you 🤔
wow it's astonishing how some people have this tendency to prioritize themselves at the expense of others' emotions!! Jemma sounds like she's got quite the confidence in playing puppet master, pulling everyone's strings to suit her agenda... probably why she's always at the center of attention; but wow, relaying private conversations is another level of betrayal.
Now as for Ash, it's kinda ironic that she claims to support you yet manages to throw daggers with her words at every opportunity; honesty doesn't mean cutting someone down constantly. I've been in similar situations and eventually realized that sometimes distancing yourself from toxic friendships can be liberating, even if it feels lonely initially. If I were you, I'd start prioritizing connections where mutual respect is the foundation and leave those behind who treat relationships like disposable goods...
Remember: life's too short for recurring dramas and double standards!!
it's clear that Jemma's charisma might be masking some serious underlying selfishness 😕
Holy crap, what a ride! 🙄 I gotta be blunt here... Jemma sounds like a total flake who only cares about being the center of attention. Honestly, if your friends are willing to ignore her toxic vibes just to stay in her orbit, they're not doing you any favors. Have you ever thought about diving into new social circles or hobbies? Sometimes branching out can lead you to meet people who truly appreciate and encourage you; it's made a world of difference for me when I've dealt with similar nonsense!
Jemma sounds like a real piece of work, honestly 😒. It's frustrating when someone who should be your friend acts like you’re invisible until it’s convenient for them. I mean, it's clear she’s more into playing popularity games than being a genuine friend. It sucks being stuck in the back of the crowd, figuratively and literally, while she plays social butterfly. As for your other friends, it's disappointing when they choose to hang on to someone who's clearly toxic instead of backing the person who's actually been wronged. Maybe think about expanding your circle and finding people outside this group who value real friendships over superficial ones 🤔.
Man, reading through your situation sounds like a rollercoaster of mixed emotions and disappointment. It's truly mind-boggling how some folks prioritize momentary popularity over genuine connections; Jemma's behavior really reflects poorly on her understanding of friendship. While it seems like Ash has her own issues to deal with, maybe she just lacks the awareness of how her comments impact you, and a candid conversation could clear the air; perhaps acknowledging these challenges could encourage growth in both yourself and your relationships. Stay focused on finding those who appreciate you for who you are, rather than bending over backward for people who clearly don't deserve your loyalty 🙂
yo, not gonna sugarcoat it... jemma sounds like a real piece of work, acting all fake and whatnot; you seriously deserve better than that mess.
tough spot you're in, for sure 🤔 sounds like jemma's all about getting attention and not really caring who she steps on along the way. it's hard when friends don't have your back like you expect them to. maybe focusing on those who do genuinely care, even if it's just a small group, might be worth it? sometimes quality over quantity is the way to go with friendships. take care of yourself first!
man, that's a classic case of friends turning into frenemies; sounds like jemma's all about the charisma but lacking in the loyalty department. it's wild how people can switch up when someone new rolls in, treating long-term friends like background noise. what’s even more baffling is your other "friends" flip-flopping so easily - they're more like acquaintances if they can't see through her act. it might be worth considering expanding your circle to include folks who appreciate you for you, without all the drama and betrayal😒
man, sounds like you're dealing with a circus of chaos, right?? having friends that play hot and cold can really mess with your head... jemma seems to be in it for the theatrics, and it's infuriating when you feel sidelined like an afterthought. on another note, ash's so-called support wrapped in criticism is pretty whack; feels like she's got her own issues she's projecting onto you!! maybe it's time to draw a line?? life's too short for second-guessing yourself over people who can't see your worth… focus on finding folks who genuinely appreciate you!!!
yeah, you definitely got a whole circus going on with jemma and crew. it's mind-blowing how some folks can be so engrossed in their own little drama that they don't even see the damage they're doing to others. jemma seems like the kind of person who's constantly auditioning for lead role in the school of attention-seeking 101; her antics are worrisome at best. as for your other friends, it sounds like they've made peace with being part of her entourage rather than standing up for something more genuine. regarding ash, well, it seems she's got some issues she needs to sort out herself before she can be any real support to you. maybe consider cutting back on interactions where you're nothing but a punching bag to these so-called pals? it might just give you the space to find people who actually vibe with who you are; life's too short for playing sidekick in someone else's drama!
sounds like a tough spot to be in, man; dealing with friends who flip the script when it suits them is rough. jemma seems like she’s all about that spotlight and doesn't realize or care about the impact she's having on her supposed friends. honestly, confronting her directly and laying out how you feel might be worth a shot? sometimes putting cards on the table can shift dynamics or at least give you some closure; as for ash, maybe try setting some boundaries: sometimes direct communication can help clear up misunderstandings, even if it takes time. meanwhile, keep focusing on building connections with those who genuinely respect and value you for who you are!✌️
man, sounds like you're dealing with a lot of fake vibes and two-faced people 😕 it's tough when someone you thought was your friend turns out to be more interested in boosting their own ego. jemma's behavior is definitely questionable, but it also highlights what qualities you truly value in friends. maybe try focusing on building connections with those who genuinely support and respect you. it has always helped me to look for people who share similar values, even if it starts small. hang in there, you deserve better pals than this!
While it is understandable to feel betrayed by Jemma's actions, perhaps the issue lies not only in her behavior but also in the unrealistic expectations you had for the camp experience??