NUCLEAR BIMBOS
The story
I'm making cards for some friends, and when I showed it to dad, he said it's not worth it because they won't value it even if they like it. I gave a small poster to a friend cus he wanted one. It's okay if he doesn't value it when I come back to school. It just tells me people aren't trustworthy outside of family. Family first, my family says. Dad really focuses on that mentality. I know my friends are nice, but since dad's lived longer than me he knows better. What's the point? I should just ditch the card and nuke all contacts. My disappearing will mean nothing to them. My disappearance will be me removing all contacts and never speaking with friends again, cus family first. That was for my Ivan friend cus he's a fan of Ivantill ship. It's okay, dad says friends are for fun. This isn't fun.
But dad says such people are weird or pathetic. We don't get gifts from friends, except my brother, he got a watch, a Lego set. Mom even got a brownie cake once and a few necklaces once. I don't know about dad though, and my friends haven't either. That means I'm disposable. I will never hang out with scumbags who see me as disposable. If they view me that way, they're disposable as well. Gifts are irrelevant if they never give anything back and even if they like it, what's the value? It's give and take, eye for eye, otherwise you're putting effort for scumbags who don't care for you. They act nice but I will never fall for that act. Not after so long ago I had been taken advantage of. I should never give it.
No one has given us gifts though. Sure some friends have and some relatives have, but it's not worth it cus they don't value it, especially friends. They're not in your family, they can never be in legal togetherness with you, not like family in records and passports, that's what dad says. Maybe I'm wearing rose-tinted lenses that hide the red flags. I feel like backstabbing them and yet when I see them be kind to me, I feel bad for holding a knife for them. I want to tell them to get lost and yet they seem nice to me. I have already worn glasses that made the outside world look red-flagged, I was so paranoid I didn't even speak to them. I didn't even know Genya liked me as a friend until I just went with her in a field trip and I had no one to hang out with, I just said yes cus she was confused what to do.
Do they have to be this high maintenance? Because right now dad's tempting me to leave them early. From his experience he says friends don't value whatever you give them, as much as they like it. I've had people smile at me but never connect whenever I talked about my interests. That's why I stopped. They would smile and just anyways think I was weird. Then they'd go back to pretending I was nothing to them. These people of mine are getting close to that territory. I love them but what if they're tolerating me? My family can only truly love me. How can random strangers from school feel it? We don't even touch often, even though we would've both felt weirded out by aggressive touch. Dad says such touch is considered love. We can't put friends in legal togetherness files, like husband and wife. We can't! I'm just the oil to their water, never able to blend. Even as an adult soon, I would never trust them, because dad says they never value me. They're traitors. They are the same to those who say yes to me before talking about their nonsense and their school accomplishments, like anyone would care. The world was always divided. This shows the division. They will always rat out someone. I'm planning to prepare a nuclear script before NUCLEAR OPTION.
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Points of view
I get it, your dad's got a strong opinion. But, man, that sounds kinda bleak! There are people out there who value friendships as much as family. It's not just about gifts or legal documents like marriage or citizenship. Close friends are like the family we choose for ourselves and they can form life-long connections if you give them a chance. Every connection isn't transactional; some people are genuinely kind without expecting anything in return. Don't let anyone else define your friendships!
They're not real, that's what dad says. They won't see me as worth anything. My gifts will be meaningless to them.
maybe ur dad's wrong u kno ppl can b nice even strangers?
Are you saying he's wrong? He's my dad, he's got more experience.
u probly right!
So why are you saying he's wrong? Are you calling him dumb?
Yeah, I think people can change and show their true colors later.
i just don’t agree with your dad, that’s it :)
maybe your dad's got a point about family being important but don't you think it's kinda harsh to say all friends are just fake or won't value what you do?
Look what the person below you said, all friends are fake. They all suck and giving friends gifts is stupid. Reality is harsh, so be harsh as well! This person said to leave them if they don't say thank you and aren't grateful! One time I did something similar, and he said thank you. He's just saying that to be polite I hated how it looked. He's lying.
I don’t think all friends are fake!! Sometimes but not always…
yeah, i stopped making stuff for friends too, once made a gift and they didnt even say thanks
Exactly! They're not valuing what you do for them, so why give anymore? Why give my energy for them, when I can spend it on making their lives miserable cus socially speaking, mine is. I'll make sure they suffer too
Wow, sounds like you're wrestling with heavy expectations from your dad. Sure, some friendships can feel transactional but not all of them are. 😅 Maybe you could focus on the ones that feel genuine to you. Sometimes people show they care in small ways that aren't about gifts or touch: like just being there when you need someone to talk to. It's okay if some folks don’t get it; it's more important what value you see in these relationships.
Wow, sounds like your dad's really got a hold on your perspective, but I gotta say, it seems a bit extreme to just ditch friendships based on gifts alone. Relationships aren't always transactional. Sometimes people appreciate things in ways that aren't obvious or immediate. Also, people outside of family can offer different kinds of support and experiences that are valuable in their own way. It's not all black and white; maybe give these friends a chance beyond what your dad says.
Whatever happened to "Give it your 100%"? We're either supposed to give it or not. If they're liars and cheats, I'll lie and cheat. They don't deserve my energy. They act nice but what if they're fake? Everyone out of family is fake.
i get what your dad is saying but sometimes friendships can surprise you in a good way.
That's true, sometimes things do turn out okay with friends!
I gotta say, maybe your dad's view sounds a bit harsh to me. Just cuz friends don't give gifts doesn't mean they don't care or value the connection. Some of my closest mates never gave much in way of material stuff, but I'd still trust them with my life. It's easy to get caught up thinking family's the only real bond, but I've had some "chosen family" moments with friends that felt just as deep. Maybe instead of nuking those relationships, try seeing if there's more beneath the surface first... After all, people aren't always what we expect and can surprise us over time!
Reading this, it seems like you're caught in a big tug-of-war between what your dad believes and your own feelings about friendship. Your dad's experiences have shaped him, no doubt, but that doesn't automatically make them universal truths for you. Honestly, people can be complex; not every friend will value things the same way family does and that's okay! 🧐 Remember that friendships aren't just about reciprocity or tangible gifts. They're more about shared moments, laughter, and support through tough times. I've found that sometimes the smallest gestures—a word of encouragement on a rough day or remembering something important to you—can speak volumes about someone's genuine interest and care. Give yourself space to discover who truly appreciates you for who you are beyond material exchanges.
friends r hard 2 trust they never care enuff abt gifts either had same thing with my ex mate!
Yeah bro! So maybe you stopped having friends, so I will too! Live my life out as those single old women with hundred cats! I don't deserve socialization, not when I don't trust the outside society.
man, I get the whole family-first vibe, but not all relationships are black and white. yeah, there's a chance some friends may not appreciate gifts as much as you want them to, but that doesn't mean they're fake. it's more about finding those people who truly resonate with you, even if they don't always show it in obvious ways. maybe try observing how they act rather than just what they give back? sometimes friendships have layers that aren't immediately obvious. 😅
There are bad guys and good guys. Most of the time, family are good guys and friends aren't. So what if I found someone who likes being around me? They're saying it to stroke my ego. Good thing I'm trying to get rid of it. Ego is the root of all evil and pain. This trust towards others will hurt me.
sounds tough you're dealing with such strong feelings about this; 😅 not everything your dad says might apply to your situation tho. i've been burnt by friends too, but sometimes good ones surprise you over time. maybe it's worth giving them a shot instead of assuming the worst right away? people can be complex and sometimes we gotta risk a little disappointment for the chance of something real; 🤷
Risk disappointment, you'll keep getting disappointed. That's why I have a plan, talk badly about them to other people, slowly pull away from them, nuke all contacts, and finally see them as "friendslop". They're all just slop! People who only stuck around to make a monkey out of me.
Have you tried talking to your friends about how you feel?
Dude, it sounds like your dad's mindset is really weighing on you. I get the skepticism around friends and gifts, but seriously, if we measured every relationship in life by "gift value," we'd be left with hardly anyone but Amazon gift cards. 🎁 Real talk: I've had friends who didn't care for my art or interests (like zero…zilch), but they were there when it mattered. Sometimes it's about presence over presents; try not to let a cynical viewpoint completely dictate how you see people outside family; there might be more genuine connections waiting if you give 'em a shot beyond their package handling!
That's what I mean. I've had people not care but I feel obligated to care about them because isn't that how friendships work? Just, "Have fun"? Don't take it seriously? Maybe I should prepare that knife in case they betray me by showing they only stuck around because I was desperate. At least being a backstabber means I'm mentally strong and won't fall for their crap.
Whoa, I feel ya. Friendships can be tricky, but ditching potential connections might just shut doors that are worth exploring. Being mentally strong is cool, but make sure you're not isolating yourself from good stuff. Balancing fun and real talk with friends could show you they're there for more than just surface-level chats.
ur dad might be right but sometimes family isn't everything.
yo, I get the whole family-first thing and trust is earned, but not all friendships are worthless just 'cause they don't fit the family mold.
it's tricky to know when people value us or not. maybe it's more about how we feel giving the gift rather than what we get back? i mean yeah, it sucks to feel like you're just the one putting effort in with no return. but are there times when you've felt appreciated by them even if it wasn't through gifts? just something i've been thinking about.
friends aren't disposable
Man, I get your dad's old school vibe on family first. My buddy once told me his granny said something like "blood’s thicker than water" but I think he must have misheard or something (lol not even sure how that makes sense). Anyway, I've dished out gifts and never got squat back too, but sometimes it's just cool to see 'em smile or whatever, ya know? Sometimes being around people who act different from you helps you learn who you really are. There's no pressure to be bffs forever with everyone; if they fade away, so what? People can surprise you in good ways if you let them!