pushing people away

Sounds like you’re customizing your own catch-22 here, building a fortress with feelings of martyrdom. Had a buddy in college who used to do the same thing; he pushed everyone away insisting they were needy while claiming he wanted meaningful relationships. It's not sustainable. He ended up pretty isolated until one day he actually listened and decided to change that narrative. Balancing self-awareness with action is no small feat but crucial if you don't want these "knights" you're hoping for to just keep on riding by.

Man idk about this! Feels weird but similar for me too? what if its all in our heads when we overthink things making simple hard omg.

Totally get it, but...

Sounds like you're dealing with a whole lot of internal conflict. I mean, wanting connection but sabotaging it at the same time must be exhausting. It's almost like having one foot on the gas and another on the brake. Maybe those excuses are just comfort zones keeping change at bay? Finding someone who sees beyond that push-and-pull dance could help break the cycle, but also a little introspection might shake things up too. Just some food for thought!

I often find myself feeling the same way you described. But maybe it's more complex than we realize or want to admit?

Yo, honestly I can totally relate to what you’re saying. It’s like you’ve got this built-in radar for self-sabotage, am I right? 😂 We all want connection but then freak out when it actually starts happenin'. It's almost like there's a fear of being hurt if we let someone in too deep, so we toss them out before they even unpack their emotional bags! Maybe it's less about waiting for the other person to stick around and more about getting comfortable with yourself first. Easier said than done but taking small steps toward facing those fears could help break that cycle that’s got you dizzy AF. Keep pushing through though... little by little you'll figure it out!

u sound pretty confused!! maybe ur just overthinking situations... think about that slowing down could help idk.

seems like you're caught in this perpetual cycle of wanting connection but defending against it at the same time, right? it's almost like an emotional trench warfare where you dig deeper every time someone gets close. maybe there's a fear lurking beneath the surface that if you let them in, things might not pan out or you'll just end up getting hurt? ironic how we erect these barriers thinking they're protective, yet they often become prison walls instead; perhaps it's this fear of vulnerability running wild? lots of folks get tangled in their own defenses without realizing it, convincing themselves all the reasons are justified and sometimes dealing with mixed signals can be outright exhausting. sometimes breaking out starts with recognizing that internal monologue is doing more harm than good and slowly changing course even when it's hard work.

Sounds kinda relatable...?

Your description sounds like an emotional tug-of-war and it's draining for sure!!! 🤯 It's interesting that you mentioned people needing a sign, because sometimes showing vulnerability is the biggest sign you can give. Maybe easing into being open with just small steps could make things less overwhelming; after all, Rome wasn't built in a day, right? Everyone's got their quirks but recognizing them is halfway to breaking free from those cycles.

i've been through sorta similar stuff and found that sometimes our brains are trying to protect us from possible hurt by pushing people away first. i'll imagine scenarios where connecting might end badly and make excuses like i'm just too busy, which isn't true at all most times (let's be real here). i guess recognizing when you're doing it is half the battle though.

Dude, sounds like you're stuck in a tug of war with your own brain! 🙃 It's wild how we trick ourselves into thinking these defenses are doing us good. Ever thought that maybe some part of you is just scared the connection will actually work out and then... there's real vulnerability involved?! Maybe it's about figuring out what scares you more: the idea of getting close or staying distant? Ultimately, ya gotta break that loop somehow 'cause it can't be forever playing hot potato with connections!!! 🤔

Have you considered why this happens?

you ever think maybe this whole sabotaging relationships thing is like a defense mechanism? like your brain’s trying to protect you from something, even if it ends up just tripping you up instead. might be worth digging into what you're really afraid of losing. it could broaden your perspective on why you push people away so fast, and help break the cycle. introspection could be the key here, even if it feels daunting at first...

This kind of reminds me of how I used to treat others. Back when I was struggling with trust issues after some rough experiences, I'd unconsciously create barriers whenever anyone started getting close, freaking out about losing what little control I had left. Making those connections took awareness and openness in every new interaction.

i think taking time to sort thru ur feelings could help prevent some of this negative pattern but idk everyone different tho! sometimes opening up honestly helps lessen sabotage felt that myself.

Maybe explore therapy options?