Should I go back to this friendship?
The story
I had a friendship that I thought it was a real friendship but this person let me down twice. The first time was while I was going through a depressive episode and we were at a restaurant and then she started ignoring me the whole time. And the bottom line was when she told me that I was having bad vibes, like wtf. After some months we were friends again, but she did something similar. I really thought that we were good friends. Something peculiar that I notice it’s that she doesn’t have friends, in her birthday she invited some “friends” and then I was the only friend who went to her party, well along her family. And then I let her go but she started talking to my brother and some friend close to us about what happened like wtf. My best friend told me that maybe when I met her I was more insecure and I didn’t knew myself better, and if we get pretty close it’s because we were just lonely. So now we’re trying to be friends again but she invited me to her home this saturday and even to sleep. She’s not a romantic interest, not at all. I’m bi (I don’t wanna deny it anymore) but I don’t like her like that. But I don’t know, I think that maybe it’s time to move on from this “friendship”. I have good friends, they truly care about me as I care about them, I love them and we’re together not because of loneliness or misery but we are building a life and sharing good moments and helping each other to be better. I’m amazed and mesmerized about the love that I give and get from them. They live in my heart and I don’t feel lonely anymore. I love them but not because of how they make me feel but because they matter to me a lot, I truly care about their lives, I’m being inspired and I’m learning a lot from them. I’m a good listener and a better person because of them. They make it easy for me. Well anyways, the thing here is that maybe I don’t have to go back to this friendship and it’s valid. This is the only friendship that makes me doubt. My other friends makes me feel inmersed in true love, joy, peace, they’re helping me to face my fears, to be more clever and practical, to be more real, vulnerable, silly, funny, childish even if it’s stupid, to be myself without any doubt or judge. To keep myself humble and grounded, to laugh at my mistakes and the chaos. So maybe I don’t know, but what if I’m being a little bit judgemental with this friend? People can change, but I don’t know.
