I have a friend who I call my sister. It did not start out that way. We met in social interactive chat room. I was curious about my sexuality, and this space let me explore that. She came into that room and we chatted she almost left, but I got her to stay and chat.

Now mind you I was already in a relationship with my now partner of 20 years. At the time I met my friend me and my partner had been together about 10 years. My partner is rather non adventurous when it comes to intimate exploration. I wanted explore my sexuality before I made a full commitment. mind you I only explored online not in person. All this is relevant.

At the time me and my friend only chatted online and threw video chat. It was wonderful we connected as friends. Nothing sexual, just two friends chatting. Occasionally it got raunchy, but it remained online and not in person. She did not push and neither did I.

My friend was suppose to come out to visit, but she ended up moving to where I lived. She moved out with 2 friends who ended up stealing from her and abandoning her. They left her stranded. She had by then found work and had people who helped her when her 2 friends abandoned her.

Before things went south me and my friend after she moved out to where I lived hung out and explored and got know each other in person. One thing led to another and we got sexual. She was into women, and I was exploring that aspect of my life.

It lasted a good year or two (the sexual exploration). But, there was a rift that was happening between me and my partner, and I stepped the sexual exploration with my friend.

My friend also has some mental health issues. she has had 2 thoughts of not wanting to be here anymore when she was out living in the city I lived in. Each time I took it seriously. She lived there for 9 years. Then her only parent got terminally ill and she had to move back to help her parent. Mind at that time one of my own parents had died, and financially things were not looking good.

My friend asked if I wanted to move back to where she grew up. It was less expensive and when discussing it with my partner we agreed, and moved back to the city she grew up.

The move was 2 years ago. I have since gone back to visit the city I use to live in for a friends wedding. My friend came with me because she recently had surgery and need help. I was the only one who has been helping her. Also her parent has since passed and her other parent passed years ago so she has no one. I stepped up to help her. So she came with us, and was miserable the whole time. Even though I took her to explore our old haunts while we were there.

On the last day she questioned me and grilled me about why our sexual interactions stopped. And I told her that I had lost my labedo and really had no desire for sex not just with her, but also my partner. Who I am still with. Still keeps hounding me about, three days after we have back to the city she grew up in. She is now talk about not wanting to be around anymore, how she cannot find a partner. How she has nothing to stick around for. Now that her only parent is gone she has no purpose anymore. How she cannot find any sexual release (she is hypersexual, due SA).

I am exhausted, I trying to get her to see how valuable she to as a friend and adopted sister. But it turns into arguments. I am doing my best but we are fighting. My partner say I just need to be patient with, but I don't take thoughts of wanting to end lightly. I am mentally and physically exhausted. I don't know what to do. What does one do? Any ideas? I am not afraid of being told I am in the wrong or what I have done wrong

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