What's wrong with being confident
The story
I've always been the type to hold my head high, you know? I pride myself on my confidence. It's like, screw what other people think, right? 🤷 But recently a close friend had the audacity to call me arrogant and self-centered. Me? Arrogant? That's a bunch of BS! Sure, I'm confident but since when is that a bad thing? This comment has left me in this weird place where I’m questioning every damn thing I've ever believed about myself. Maybe they're seeing something I'm not: maybe I am coming off as conceited and it makes me wonder how many other people just tolerate rather than enjoy my presence.
I remember last week having this conversation with some colleagues about leadership styles and someone jokingly called me Mr./Ms. Know-It-All because of how strongly I expressed my opinions; alright, I get it... maybe sometimes I tend to dominate conversations or situations without noticing it at the moment but doesn’t confidence mean being able to voice your thoughts without second-guessing yourself and not sounding like you're preaching gospel? Maybe I'm too direct for some people's tastes but why sugarcoat things when sweet-talk takes longer than just laying cards out flat on the table?
This encounter made me rethink past interactions: could I've been insufferably overbearing this whole time without noticing?! If people are too scared or intimidated by someone's straightforwardness that's honestly not our fault; yet here I am, doubting something that was previously an unshakeable core pillar of who I am because one opinion threw everything into chaos! Sometimes feedback isn't constructive: it's a backhanded compliment wrapped in politeness meant only to poke holes through self-esteem.
And sure... I use industry-specific jargon during discussions sometimes but no one complains when they need guidance during complicated projects involving those terms! Oh man! Why are words like 'self-assured' expected to stand alongside insecurity when receiving criticism? Aren't these different aspects trying their best internally within us already amidst shooting others down while keeping heads above water aligned properly so we don’t drown entirely underneath uncontrollable anxiety thrust forth inadvertently now breaking skin hashes beyond control spinning harsh disbelieved statements throughout darkened spiraling nights chipping amplified vacuums rather unadorned unrehearsed statements suddenly echo heating gyroscopêncio trailing belief truthful inherent ideas strong personalities unleashed exceeding chaos fears locking further masked feelings trapped freedom encased wrench grabber's residue forever elapsed servitudes downstream against finalized victories marked temporary bulwark successes distant shadows condense unseen assumptions torn voyages uneasy falsely leather comfort hide putting pre-conceived notions obsolete realized before.
All in all though...it’s got me side-eyeing nearly everyone else wondering whether they’ve simply pacified my worst tendencies this entire time 'cause a piece within remains convinced into finding out hard truths personally trapping thoughts endless shifting portrait unending consistencies skirting bearings result consideration present resulting impacted venerous mind today's unique reflection causing unjust remembrances feared apparent challenger grounded thrones inevitable bouncing back trusted assessment regressively ardent spins mete fear removal spectral interpreted rates amazing distrusting voices inner suppression ruled checked compressed reimagined unfamiliar landscapes deceptive assessments evaluated objective intersections frequent puzzlement iron senses casually crude conspiracies expand cautious impulse varies changing boundaries persistent probability levers uncertain intentions deep-seated reassignment.
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Points of view
Totally agree!
Right?? Same here. Glad someone gets it.
sounds like you're wrestling with some heavy stuff right now. it's tricky when someone points out a trait in us that we see differently, especially if confidence gets mistaken for arrogance. maybe there's a middle ground where you can stay true to yourself but also be a bit more mindful of how your words land on others? it might be worth having an open chat with your friend or colleagues to get clearer feedback. we've all got blind spots and it doesn't hurt to understand how you're being perceived.
Interesting situation you've found yourself in. Confidence should be celebrated more often than criticized however there's a fine line that's easy for both observers and individuals to misconstrue. Could your friend's remark actually be a poorly worded attempt at helping you balance perspectives enhancing your growth overall perception skills simultaneously reinforcing relational trust dynamics involved between previously fostered friendships possibly refined originally founded bases perceiving knowledge differently applied standards today respecting authentic attributes consisting universally upheld embracement proposed principles constructed vigorously endorsed allied souls welcoming integral individuality connecting others spiritually harmoniously facing circumstances whenever peace reigns humbling awareness from any genuine perspective expressions mirrored despite variances resurfacing along crossroads future tireless explorations space emphasizes turning them plain opportunities appreciated collaborative energetic restoration invigorate remarkable leaps grand constructive spirit hope potentialize transformative embracing communal solid authenticity linked possibilities casting mutual understanding wider inclusive domains.
Man, that's a tough spot to be in... I don't know, maybe it’s worth considering how often we all get told we're too much or not enough. It's like everyone’s got an opinion and sometimes they're just full of crap!!! You've got your own style; let them adjust if they’ve got issues. Confidence doesn't equal arrogance but hey, self-reflection doesn’t hurt either.
Sounds like you're really caught up in what others think. Happens to the best of us. Maybe take a step back and ask yourself if there's any truth in their words, even though it stings. Confidence is great but being open to adjusting when needed isn't weak, it's smart; helps keep relationships healthy without losing who you are.
Thanks for your thoughts. You're right, there's something to be said about tweaking habits without losing myself. It just stings to think my confidence might be seen in a way I never intended. Guess I could try softening the edges a bit while staying true to who I am.
Been there! People mistake my straightforward approach for arrogance too. Makes me second guess every interaction.
it's like people see confidence and automatically think "arrogance alert"! it's wild how expressing oneself decisively gets tangled with conceit. but yeah, second guessing everything now... super fun, right? 😅
ugh, it's so frustrating when people mix up confidence with arrogance; like dude get your definitions straight. but hey, i once got labeled "bossy" just 'cause i knew what i wanted at a team meeting; 😒 my takeaway? sometimes the way we deliver our opinions might rub people the wrong way even if intentions are pure. maybe next time try switching it up: lay out your thoughts and then ask others for theirs? could help balance things out without dimming your glow too much!
omg i totally hear you!! i feel like ppl r super quick to pin labels bc they can't handle assertiveness (at least imo) like, once i answered confidently during group work & got flagged as 'bossy'. whatever happened to embracing leadership roles?? idk if its society's distorted views dictating behaviors anymore it's kinda absurd!!! 😩 😡 why is speaking assuredly suddenly synonymous w/ egotism??? prettt unfair honestly dont you think?
had sim issue last month--spoke up confidently 'bout an idea at networking event coffee meetup & BOOM instantaneously roasted by audience silently indifference settled stuck around blending cold ears made quiet good listening afterward scoured participant suggestions instead pathetic powerless y'all experinced multiple frustraiting moments ?? adulting pros cons interesting narratives unfold reveal memories cherished?
wow, this really resonates; i mean, when did being unapologetically yourself become such a minefield??! people love to play the "arrogance" card just 'cause someone knows what they want and isn't afraid to say so. 🤦♀️ don't let that one opinion mess with your mind too much. life's too short to constantly second-guess yourself because of others who might be projecting their insecurities onto you... maybe park it for now and see if anyone else actually says something similar or it's just an isolated case.
Confidence vs arrogance?
It's like walking a tightrope, you know? Trying to balance without tipping into arrogance. But where's the line drawn between confidence and arrogance? That's the real kicker here.
it's wild how perceptions can shift based on a single comment; you're confident, not arrogant. sometimes people don't handle straightforwardness well, especially if they're used to indirect communication styles. maybe consider framing your confidence in a way that encourages dialogue rather than dominating it, providing space for others to express themselves too. that way, you maintain your assertiveness while fostering an inclusive environment. keep doing you but remember everyone’s got different comfort levels with directness 🙂
Why would they?