building a non anxious life
The story
I’m 49 years old, female, and I’m honestly fing tired of feeling like I’m carrying a boulder on my shoulders every fing day; let’s just say it loud and clear — anxiety sucks. every fing breath I take, every decision I make, every conversation I have — it’s like a tiny voice is nagging in the back of my mind telling me I’m screwing everything up. “what if they hate you? what if you say the wrong thing? what if you fail?” it’s exhausting. I’ve read every fing book, listened to every self-help podcast, tried meditation, journaling, therapy, meds — the whole f***ing industry is built on telling people like me to “breathe deeply and let it go,” but tell me, how the hell do you let go of something that’s wired into your goddamn brain? anxiety doesn’t listen to breathing techniques! I mean, ffs, you think I wouldn’t have figured that out by now?
I’ve been trying to build a non-anxious life, whatever the hell that means. moving to a quieter neighborhood, changing jobs to reduce stress — hell, I even got a fing cat to “calm me down” (spoiler alert: she’s a furry little terrorist). but guess what? the anxiety is still there. some mornings, I wake up and feel like I can’t breathe, like my chest is caving in, and no amount of herbal tea or “positive affirmations” makes it stop. it’s easy for people to say, “just stop worrying,” but have you ever tried to just stop worrying? it’s like telling a person with asthma to “just breathe” — yeah, sure, thanks for the tip! it’s frustrating to constantly feel like you’re broken, like you’re the problem; it’s fing unfair. how much of it is even in my control, huh?
the thing is, I’ve been to therapy (multiple times, different therapists), and every time I leave feeling like I’m just a fing project for them to fix. “try this exercise,” they say. “keep a journal,” they suggest. “catch your negative thoughts,” they advise. but what if I don’t want to spend every goddamn day “catching thoughts”? what if I just want to live without constantly analyzing myself to death? it’s not that I’m against therapy — I know it helps, I’m not an idiot — but the whole process sometimes feels like a job I didn’t apply for; a job with no pay and no fing days off. am I just supposed to keep “working on myself” until I die? because that’s how it feels. I’m exhausted from always trying to “manage” something that won’t leave me the hell alone.
and here’s the kicker — people always assume that if you’re anxious, you’re weak. that you can’t handle stress, that you’re not resilient enough, that you’re somehow “less than.” well, f*** that. I’ve raised two kids while dealing with this crap, held down a career, and kept a house running — tell me that’s not resilient! but yeah, I’ll admit it: I’m still struggling. I still cry in the shower sometimes, I still overthink every damn thing, and I still wake up some days feeling like the world is caving in. so what? does that make me a failure? or does it make me human? because, let’s be real here — who the hell isn’t struggling? we just don’t talk about it. we put on our “I’m fine” masks and go through the motions. but sometimes I want to rip that mask off and scream, “I’m not f***ing fine!” do you get it? do you know what that feels like? or is it just me?
Stories in the same category
Points of view
it's absolutely brutal how anxiety can just grip you and not let go, no matter what you do. It's like you're living under a constant storm cloud, even on sunny days, ya know? I've been there myself, trying all the breathing exercises and so-called magic fixes that never actually fix anything. It's super annoying when people think it's just about worrying less, like you've chosen to have anxiety, right?
Honestly, it feels like this endless uphill battle and you're just expected to keep climbing without a break. I mean, come on, people have no idea how exhausting it is to be constantly 'working on yourself' when all you want is some peace. I tried getting a dog for comfort, like you've got your cat, but she’s as needy as they come and not exactly stress-free either!
And you're spot on about the misconception that anxiety equals weakness. Dude, you're juggling so much, and you've managed all this stuff in spite of anxiety — that's hardcore resilient. It's totally human to feel overwhelmed, to feel like life’s a constant spin cycle that you can’t escape. We’re all dealing with our own messes, but most people just nod and say they're fine. You’re definitely not alone in screaming internally while you put on that brave face. Hang in there, you're doing better than you think!
your experience with anxiety is truly challenging, and it's understandable why you feel so frustrated 😞. anxiety's relentless presence in your life can certainly feel overwhelming, especially when every attempt to manage it seems futile. those breathing exercises and self-help tips can often feel like they're oversimplifying something that's far more complex.
the pressure to constantly “work on yourself” must be exhausting, like a never-ending job that you can’t escape. it's absolutely valid to feel frustrated about the perception that anxiety equates to weakness. you've clearly accomplished a lot despite these challenges, which reflects significant resilience.
living with anxiety is undeniably tough, and it's human to struggle with emotions and daily stresses. everyone deals with their own issues behind the scenes, even if it seems like they’ve got it all together. hopefully, sharing your experiences provides some relief. you're definitely not alone in your feelings. hope things improve for you soon. 😊
man, I totally feel you on this!!! anxiety just doesn’t let up, does it???? it's like no matter what tricks or strategies you try, it's still there!!! I've been in that spot where you're doing everything "right" but still feel like you're carrying the weight of the world!
people saying "just stop worrying" have no clue, right?? they think it's like flipping a switch or something?? like, if it were that easy, we’d have done it already!!!!! it's kinda frustrating how therapy and self-help stuff make it sound simple while you're still battling every day!!!
and yeah, that assumption that we’re weak because of anxiety is total BS!!!! like, living with anxiety and still handling life takes so much freaking strength!!! you're definitely not alone in feeling this way! hang in there, maybe there’s some light at the end of the tunnel???? 🤔
i hear you, but honestly, it seems like you're being pretty harsh on everything that's supposed to help!!! i get anxiety can be a pain, but saying nothing works might mean you haven't found the right thing yet;
in my opinion, therapy's not all bad. it's a process, and yeah, it can be annoying as hell sometimes!!! i used to think it was a waste too, but it helped me once i found a therapist who actually clicked with me. plus, gotta say, cats can be little jerks sometimes, and maybe she’s not the solution, but hey, they can be stressbusters in their own way, right? 😸
maybe you're being too hard on yourself??? it’s like, sometimes the more you fight it, the worse it feels, ya know? maybe taking a step back and trying different approaches could help??? just a thought.
i hear your frustration, but it seems like you're overlooking some aspects of managing anxiety. when you talk about breathing techniques not helping, it makes me wonder if you've had guidance on applying them effectively. even industry experts emphasize the importance of practice and consistency with these methods, which is key. you mentioned feeling like therapy is a project; that's a valid feeling, but therapy is meant to be more collaborative than directive. have you considered cognitive-behavioral therapy or other approaches that might suit you better?
i understand you feel like "the whole f***ing industry" is not effective for you, but each person's journey with anxiety treatment can be different. things like mindfulness and journaling can take a while to integrate into one's routine comfortably. i noticed you mentioned the usual "breathe deeply and let it go" advice. sometimes, it's more about finding the right person to help guide you through those strategies in a tailored way, rather than the blanket advice that can seem dismissive.
it's clear this has been a tough road for you, but there might be unexplored options that could prove useful eventually. don't lose hope; sometimes, finding the right combination just takes time and patience. 😉