craving friendship
The story
I crave friendship so badly that to the point that i don't know how to express that.
It's a kind of loneliness that follows me everywhere. Seeing people hangout with big groups and other people makes me very envious and probably even jealous because i don't have someone to do that with.
I have 3 irl friends that i hangout with sometimes. I'll call them N,B, and E.
N i know from high school and has never been mean to me. We usually watch movies together,
B and E i've known since i was about 5. We are in a trio but they are the duo in the trio. They often keep me out of the loop, so i usually dont know who and what they are talking about when they tell me a story, because E tells the stories to B but only to me when the 3 of us are together.
We were once hanging out and bought sweets to eat, the two of them shared but didint share with me. Eventually when they gave me the bag i wanted to grab one but it was of course empty.
The little things they did to annoy often got to me, B used to grab me by the neck and push me down as a joke even tho i had told i didin't like it. I don't really know if i should even concider them friends? i guess i do because i don't have a load of people i talk with, i dont even talk to them via text, we only talk when we hangout. And i guess in cling onto that.
My best friend hasnt talked to me since she went mia in february, i could never hate her for that tho. She means the universe to me and i hope she will eventually come back.
There are often days when i wonder if i'm hard to love or that i'm being dramatic, the silence feels unbearable tho. Having no one to talk or hang with because even tho i don't want to admit it i am a loner.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
man, that sounds frustrating as hell; if B and E can't even share sweets with you, that's just plain rude. who does that? i'm not saying ditch 'em all at once but maybe start looking for people who actually care about including you. it sucks to feel like the third wheel in a trio: been there, felt that. have you thought about joining any clubs or groups where you could meet new people? sometimes change can bring around better connections if you're willing to step out a bit.
i really want to but i don't have the time to do it, im in college doing an apprenticeship which is basically work so im there all the time
I'm really sorry to hear you're feeling this way. It sounds like N is more respectful of your boundaries than B and E are, which makes me wonder: do you think the dynamic would change if you tried hanging out with N more one-on-one? Maybe focusing on quality time with one friend might help improve your sense of companionship.
That's a good idea! Focusing on a more positive relationship could help uplift things for sure!
omg i totally get what you're saying. my situation was a bit similar cause i had two friends that left me out all the time, too. it sucks so much seeing them connect while you're kinda just there like an afterthought you know? i used to think they're my friends but it's just hard when they dont even consider ur feelings.
Man, I feel you. It sucks when you think you're friends but realize you're the third wheel. Had something like that happen back in middle school with what I thought was my "group." They'd always go out and do stuff without telling me, and then I'd just hear about it later like it was a joke or something. It's tough not to feel left out, ya know? 😒 Maybe try finding some new hobbies or communities where people actually get you and want you around!
feeling like you’re on the outside looking in is tough and it’s easy to question your own worth when friendships feel one-sided or superficial. honestly, friendship shouldn’t feel like a game of trying to fit into their dynamic. it's kinda like wearing shoes that don't quite fit right – annoying as hell and leaves blisters. i had similar experiences where i felt more of an accessory than a friend, so i get the frustration. sometimes it helps to find people who genuinely want to hang out with you for you. take it from me: letting go of those who consistently dismiss your needs can be liberating, even if it feels scary at first.
Maybe you should try expanding your social circle instead?
Ugh, that's rough. 😕 It’s like you’re stuck in this awkward limbo with people who don’t really value your presence. Honestly, if someone’s grabbing you by the neck as a "joke", that crosses a line; respect should be non-negotiable. It's not worth holding onto these half-baked friendships just because you're scared of being alone. Friendships should lift you up, not leave you feeling sidelined or unheard; maybe it's time to prioritize what you need in relationships and put yourself first for once...
Wow, it's crazy how some people can be so thoughtless in group dynamics; sometimes reaching out to others who respect and value your presence brings a fresh wave of positivity into your life!
bro i get it, kinda went through something sorta similar ages ago. had these buds who always made their own plans without me, they'd forget or "forget" lol. eventually got fed up and started doing things i liked by myself. not saying it's easy tho.
I'm kinda taken aback by how B and E treat you. Seriously, their behavior is petty and not at all what friendship should look like. It sounds like they're more of an inconvenience than a source of support; makes me wonder if it’s even worth the effort to keep them around just because they’re familiar faces. Have you thought about focusing more on yourself for a bit? Sometimes taking space allows us to reevaluate what we really want in friendships, and who knows, maybe you'll find better connections that way; don't beat yourself up over it.
I used to have a friend group where I was often the odd one out, too. It hurt being overlooked, especially during something as simple as sharing snacks or inside jokes. At some point, I found other hobbies that helped me meet new people who appreciated me for who I am.
I totally get how you're feeling. It reminds me of this time in high school when I went to a party with two friends, and they just kind of left me out like I was a ghost. I stuck around because the alternative was being completely alone, which felt worse at the time. It’s tough finding genuine connections amidst all that noise! One thing I've learned is sometimes it's about quality over quantity. Have you considered setting aside some specific time once in a while just for activities you enjoy where other people might also join? Maybe even something simple and low pressure, like studying in a common area or grabbing coffee somewhere busy. You never know who you might meet by chance if you're open to it!
hey!!! im hearing ya but looks like you got some ppl even tho theyre that bad at times hanging w n maybe help but wow b and e sound awful maybe talk bout setting boundereees huh??
I kinda feel like there's this pressure to maintain friendships just to avoid feeling completely alone. But you know, sometimes the company that feels more like a burden than a blessing isn't worth holding onto. I've been in situations where I stuck around in friend groups because I thought anything was better than nothing, but looking back, it felt like I was making a compromise with my own happiness. 🤔 Have you ever thought about whether spending time by yourself might actually be better than hanging out with B and E? It’s not easy stepping away from folks you're used to; maybe focusing on what genuinely makes you happy outside of these friendships could change your perspective.
sounds rough what you're going through. feeling like a spare part in your own friendships can totally wear you down over time; might be worth figuring out what kind of friends actually make you feel good about yourself, yeah? maybe it’s time to think less about the quantity of friendships and more about the quality. those "friends" don't seem to get that friendship means respecting each other's boundaries; maybe find ways to meet people who genuinely vibe with you even if it's just small steps for now. life’s too short to hang onto those who don’t have your back;
that's tough but friendships can change over time too...
Man, that sucks, I totally feel for you. It's like you're trying to hang on to these friendships 'cause they're what you know, but it seems like they're not giving back the same energy, ya know? I remember this one time when I was younger, and people I'd considered close didn't even bother including me in plans. After a while, I figured I'd stop letting them be my main source of company and realized sometimes it's fine enjoying your own vibe until you find people who get you. Have you thought about finding groups or clubs with common interests at college? Even if it's just once in a blue moon for your crazy schedule... sometimes a change in routine can introduce you to some unexpected cool folks.
it's rough when you feel like you're the third wheel in your own friendships. reminds me of a time i had a buddy who'd always leave me out of his plans but still expected me to be around whenever it suited him. it's frustrating as hell! maybe try to focus on finding people who make you feel appreciated and seen. if that's not possible for now, honing in on personal goals or hobbies might help shift that energy someway positive. with college and work, it’s tough... but sometimes prioritizing yourself is the best way forward even when it feels selfish at first.