fear of dying
The story
I'm scared of dying in my sleep, knowing that it can happen at any time. And you wouldn't even know because you won't wake up if it happens,
you lay in bed and close your eyes, ready to go to bed and wake up the next morning but the fear sometimes lingers with me. Which sounds stupid when you say it out loud because it would be the most peaceful way to go right?
but at the same time, i feel like to me it's the hardest way. Not the aftermath of it, but just knowing it could happen and what others would think. You don't get to say goodbye, you can't give a last message. What would my online friends think? that i ghosted them but in reality i died?
It's the being afraid of dying before living life to my fullest. What if i die before getting to live as a guy? before i come out. If the last thing they know me as is a girl when all i want to be seen as is a guy. Is that just part of the fear? the fear of dying, but also the fear of leaving things unfinished. Like there’s still so much you haven’t gotten to do yet? I know i will die someday but it's always a feeling that stays because what if i don’t get the chance to be me before that happens?
It’s just one of those thoughts that makes everything feel a little more real than i want it to feel. Sometimes i'm stuck staring at the ceiling trying to distract myself with the thought that i will wake up. But my brain just circles back like it’s looking for an answer that doesn’t exist. Because you won't know if you don't wake up.
Am i just afraid of dying young? and is there a way to ease this feeling a little?
Stories in the same category
Points of view
Bro, chill out. Worrying about dying in your sleep is like stressing over a comet hitting the earth—it's way too random to be worth losing sleep over. 😒 And honestly, if you focus more on living life instead of fearing death, maybe you'll feel less anxious? Also, people may still see you for who you truly are even if they're not told directly. So why waste energy on fears that ain't gonna help you live fully and as your true self?
i totally get where you're coming from; those thoughts can be so consuming sometimes. it's not dumb at all to think about it, especially when there's so much you want to accomplish and express before anything happens. i've had similar fears about missing out or leaving things unfinished too; it's like this endless loop our minds put us through. maybe focusing on small steps towards your goals can offer some sense of peace even if the fear doesn't completely go away? sometimes just sharing these thoughts takes a bit of their power away, you know?
Man, I get it; those thoughts can really spiral out of control. 😕 But have you ever thought about how you define "living life to the fullest"? Maybe it's not just about big milestones but also appreciating the small stuff day-to-day that represents your true self? It's tough, but focusing on those little things might help ease some anxiety; what’s been something small yet significant in your recent days?
Nothing much really, i guess i made a new friend? But i also haven't talked to my best friend in a while so i miss her.