fear of being perceived
The story
i hate it. the feeling of being seen, like actually seen, not just people glancin at you in the street or passin by, but when someone really looks at you, like they’re tryin to figure you out, like they have questions, like they see somethin in you that you don’t even see in yourself. it makes my skin crawl. i overthink every little thing, how i stand, how i move, if my face looks weird when im just existing, if my voice sounds stupid when i speak. every time i step outside, i feel like im being judged, even if no one is sayin anything. and the worst part? i know most people don’t care, i know logically they’re all too busy with their own lives to be analyzin me, but my brain don’t listen to logic. my brain tells me everyone notices, everyone sees, everyone is thinkin somethin. so i shrink, i make myself smaller, i walk quieter, i avoid eye contact, i make sure i dont take up too much space, bc the less people see me, the safer i feel. but its exhausting. always second-guessing, always panicking about the tiniest things, always wishing i could just exist without feeling like im being watched.
nd it’s not just in public, it’s everywhere. online, in messages, even around people i know. every time i post somethin, i think should i delete it? does this make me look dumb? did i say too much? did i say too little? every time i talk to someone, i replay the convo in my head a thousand times, picking apart everything i said, wondering if i sounded weird or annoying. nd it makes me not wanna talk at all. like, if i never say anything, if i never put myself out there, then theres nothin to be judged, right? but then that feels just as bad, bc i want to connect, i want to be a person, i just don’t want to be perceived while doing it. i don’t want people to have opinions on me, to see me one way when i see myself another, to misunderstand, to assume, to put a label on me i don’t want. nd maybe that’s the problem. maybe i dont even kno who i am without other people’s perception, nd that’s why it scares me so much. bc what if i don’t like what they see? what if they see the real me, and i don’t even know who that is?
Stories in the same category
Points of view
I get it... in psychology, they talk about the spotlight effect, where people think they're being noticed way more than they are, and it's like a real thing!!!! you're not alone in this!!!! you gotta remember what you said, "most people don’t care," it's so true, and sometimes just knowing that is a relief, right?? when u get stuck on those thoughts, try grounding techniques, helps to bring you back, like when i feel anxiety, i count backwards or name things in the room, sometimes it's a game changer, just saying, but seriously, don’t let it hold you back, finding peace with being seen, that's where it's at, even if it ain't easy 🤙
hey i get this so much, it’s like a constant cycle of hyper-awareness and anxiety; doesn’t help that we live in a world full of scrutiny. dealing with the evaluation apprehension is rough. i remember feeling like that in social situations constantly, just wish there was an easy solution, you know? it’s tough shaking off that feeling of being examined; keep hanging in there, hope it gets better for both of us 🤔
i totally get where you're coming from! honestl,y sometimes it's like the whole world is watching and judging every little thing we do and it can be really overwhelming 😅 it's like that unease you get when you're just chilling and a random thought hits like what if people see something weird in me i didn't even notice 🤔 back in the day i used to overthink everything too and man it was exhausting... i always wished i could shut it off like a switch but i couldn't... sometimes it feels like it's way too much to handle! but you're not alone, we all got something we're struggling with: just finding ways to cope day by day, you know?!
wishing you strength and peace in it all!