fear of being perceived
The story
i hate it. the feeling of being seen, like actually seen, not just people glancin at you in the street or passin by, but when someone really looks at you, like they’re tryin to figure you out, like they have questions, like they see somethin in you that you don’t even see in yourself. it makes my skin crawl. i overthink every little thing, how i stand, how i move, if my face looks weird when im just existing, if my voice sounds stupid when i speak. every time i step outside, i feel like im being judged, even if no one is sayin anything. and the worst part? i know most people don’t care, i know logically they’re all too busy with their own lives to be analyzin me, but my brain don’t listen to logic. my brain tells me everyone notices, everyone sees, everyone is thinkin somethin. so i shrink, i make myself smaller, i walk quieter, i avoid eye contact, i make sure i dont take up too much space, bc the less people see me, the safer i feel. but its exhausting. always second-guessing, always panicking about the tiniest things, always wishing i could just exist without feeling like im being watched.
nd it’s not just in public, it’s everywhere. online, in messages, even around people i know. every time i post somethin, i think should i delete it? does this make me look dumb? did i say too much? did i say too little? every time i talk to someone, i replay the convo in my head a thousand times, picking apart everything i said, wondering if i sounded weird or annoying. nd it makes me not wanna talk at all. like, if i never say anything, if i never put myself out there, then theres nothin to be judged, right? but then that feels just as bad, bc i want to connect, i want to be a person, i just don’t want to be perceived while doing it. i don’t want people to have opinions on me, to see me one way when i see myself another, to misunderstand, to assume, to put a label on me i don’t want. nd maybe that’s the problem. maybe i dont even kno who i am without other people’s perception, nd that’s why it scares me so much. bc what if i don’t like what they see? what if they see the real me, and i don’t even know who that is?
Stories in the same category
Points of view
I get it... in psychology, they talk about the spotlight effect, where people think they're being noticed way more than they are, and it's like a real thing!!!! you're not alone in this!!!! you gotta remember what you said, "most people don’t care," it's so true, and sometimes just knowing that is a relief, right?? when u get stuck on those thoughts, try grounding techniques, helps to bring you back, like when i feel anxiety, i count backwards or name things in the room, sometimes it's a game changer, just saying, but seriously, don’t let it hold you back, finding peace with being seen, that's where it's at, even if it ain't easy 🤙
hey i get this so much, it’s like a constant cycle of hyper-awareness and anxiety; doesn’t help that we live in a world full of scrutiny. dealing with the evaluation apprehension is rough. i remember feeling like that in social situations constantly, just wish there was an easy solution, you know? it’s tough shaking off that feeling of being examined; keep hanging in there, hope it gets better for both of us 🤔
i totally get where you're coming from! honestl,y sometimes it's like the whole world is watching and judging every little thing we do and it can be really overwhelming 😅 it's like that unease you get when you're just chilling and a random thought hits like what if people see something weird in me i didn't even notice 🤔 back in the day i used to overthink everything too and man it was exhausting... i always wished i could shut it off like a switch but i couldn't... sometimes it feels like it's way too much to handle! but you're not alone, we all got something we're struggling with: just finding ways to cope day by day, you know?!
wishing you strength and peace in it all!
man i get you're feeling this way but it sounds like you're overthinking a lot; people don’t notice as much as you think they do trust me i’ve been there and learned ppl are just doing their own thing we’re all busy with our lives 🤷 just chill a bit and stop worrying so much about what everyone thinks cuz it's mostly in your head maybe try focusing inward and what makes you happy instead of stressing about all that noise you'll be better off
I believe you might be magnifying the situation; the spotlight effect suggests we overestimate the degree to which others notice our actions or appearance. often, individuals are preoccupied with their own affairs. "most people don’t care" as you mentioned, holds true in many contexts. adopting a more pragmatic view may alleviate some anxiety and grant you peace of mind; knowing that self-awareness often entails heightened perception that is not mirrored by others can be liberating. it can provide the opportunity to focus on personal growth and self-acceptance 😊
I completely resonate with your experience. It captures the essence of social anxiety and perception very well. The "spotlight effect," where we feel as though all eyes are constantly on us, can be mentally exhausting; it's a genuine psychological phenomenon. I've read that maintaining such a heightened level of self-awareness is common, yet it can hinder one's sense of peace. Your mention of wanting to connect without being perceived highlights a struggle faced by many in the digital age and reminds me of how important it is to find equilibrium between self-expression and self-preservation. Rest assured, your feelings are valid and it's a shared human experience.
i really understand what you're saying, and there's truth to what you feel. it's like having this invisible lens on you, making interactions feel so intense and overwhelming at times 🤔 i used to experience that sensation, too, especially during group settings. thinking everyone is scrutinizing every move or word can be daunting. personally found that reminding myself others are often caught up in their own thoughts eases the tension. it's pretty common for people to be so absorbed with what they're going through, they barely register others. have you tried grounding exercises? they can really help to center yourself and lessen that sense of being watched.
I totally hear you; dealing with that "being seen" feeling is rough, but sometimes it's worth looking at it from another angle. Have you ever thought about how people might just be curious rather than judgmental? I used to feel all eyes were on me too, but then realized some folks are simply intrigued or even admiring something about me! Our own perception can really trip us up. Ever thought about redirecting your focus onto what genuinely interests and excites you instead? It could shift the spotlight inward, in a good way!
Been there, done that. Feeling like you're constantly under a microscope is draining af 😤 You're right, most people are too wrapped up in their own issues to notice every detail about you. But I totally get the fear of being misunderstood or judged harshly. One thing that helped me was embracing the chaos a bit—like, screw it if someone thinks I'm weird, that's just me being authentic! Sometimes letting go of the need for validation can be so freeing. Hang in there; you've got this! 👍
Hey, I hear ya, but you might be caught in this endless loop of overthinking and it's not doing you any favors 😅 It's like when Nietzsche said, "When you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you." Ever considered that maybe you're projecting your own insecurities onto others? People are often wrapped up in their own drama to care about our every move. What if instead of worrying about being seen, you focused on being yourself unapologetically—like really owned it? Could embracing the vulnerability lead to a stronger sense of self?