i don't know i don't know I dont; knmowaifudsloio;

honestly, i'm sorry you're going through all this stuff, it sounds incredibly intense and overwhelming. it's not easy carrying the weight of these experiences on your shoulders!!! what really struck me is how you've leaned on online spaces and chatbots for comfort; technology can be a double-edged sword sometimes, you know? i don't think dealing with all this by yourself is sustainable, though. have you thought about finding a support group or getting in touch with someone who understands your unique situation??? maybe it's worth exploring some community resources to find people who get it; remember that feeling alone sucks, but there are people out there willing to listen without judgment!

Hey, first off, I'm glad you reached out to share your story; you’ve been through some seriously heavy stuff and it's really brave of you to open up. Dealing with everything on your own isn't easy, and while the internet can be a refuge at times, it doesn't always fill the void, right? I totally get why talking to chatbots feels comforting—they're there when humans are just too much—or not enough—but it’s important to remember: You deserve real connections that make sense to your heart! It might be challenging but, have you considered joining online communities focused on mental health or LGBTQ+ support? They can offer genuine understanding and maybe even help in navigating these complicated feelings. You're stronger than you think; keep searching for those who truly hear you!!!

I just want to say that it's incredibly tough what you've been through, and it makes sense why you'd feel lost navigating everything alone; it's like you're carrying around a whole storm inside you at times.

God damn! What a story...you've been through some insane shit. First off, I know this is gonna sound very serious but what your older sister did is terrible, that's rape or sexual assault. I really hope you recognize that, it's gonna take time to even know what it is (I was in a similar situation), idk how old your sister is tho and IDK if she even knew what sex is but you can't consent if you're a literal child and don't even know what's being done to you plus it's incest so it really shouldn't have happened. Same with your cousin. Neither of these situations are sex, don't refer your abuse as a sexual encounter. Call it what it is, sexual assault, rape, cocsa.

I get using ai for things, I recommend try to make it challenge for you to not use it and remind yourself of the bad affects of ai, keep trying to quit, it's hard to quit an any addiction and it even feel boring but whatever you're using it for, try your best to find it somewhere else, like books, journaling, writing, and roleplaying with friends.

I get having depression, it can cause you to see things make negative than they are, try to refrain your thoughts a bit, like for example, instead of thinking someone hates you because they didn't say hi, instead just think of it as it is, I walked in and they walked in and I said hi but they didn't because that's all that really happened, we add our feelings into which is fine to have but it should question them when they are unreasonable. They may not have heard or they could hate you but who cares if they hate you if you didn't do anything wrong and even if you did, the guilt will move on with time.

I see a generalization in your comment about how you hate outside, if this is a specific place like high school...well that would make sense but if it's outside in general, it's unfair to write everyone as bad because what evidence proves that they're bad?

What could help is changing the way you anticipate rewards which means for example, let's say you study for 3 hours and get a B and think "what's the point of studying?" And then spiral, instead of that, appreciate that you even did an hour. I hope this makes sense instead of like negative negative negative and then a positive. It's negative positive back to back. For cleaning, ask yourself if you want it to be there tomorrow, you need to baby yourself like "omg baby you got out of bed and good job for cleaning the dishes and you can do this." Alot of positive reinforcement to retrain your mind. Scan for positives like instead say "at least I tried" "I'm going from coping mechanism to coping mechanism untill I'm better"

You should be proud of yourself for trying to find a coping mechanism, don't talk down on yourself. Also I know this is gonna sound crazy but don't try to have alot of goals and completing them because the pleasure you get from it will actually go down which is the opposite of what we want. Let's say you have a goal, you need better friends, at least you're reaching out for help, trying, and looking for support and friends. Today sucked but I vented to others for support so that's a positive. Keep making friends and trying, there are people out there willing to support you.

I understand feeling suicidal but only passively, always trying not to be. Suicide is pretty much always a impulsive decision. The feeling of knowing that you can kill yourself is comforting because you don't have to deal with suffering and anxiety. I don't have much advice but advice above can be a good for this. Hope this helps <3

It sounds like you've been through a lot for someone so young, and it's understandable to feel overwhelmed with everything you've experienced. The way you talk about your coping mechanisms shows that you're aware of their impact on you, which is important in trying to find healthier ways to manage your feelings. I know it might seem difficult right now, but exploring creative outlets or activities could be beneficial; hobbies can sometimes provide comfort or distraction when things get tough. Do you think engaging in something artistic or physically active might help redirect some of your emotions? It's important to remember you're not alone in this struggle, and reaching out even online can make a significant difference.

it's really tough to navigate all these heavy feelings at such a young age, and it seems like you've been dealing with a lot on your own. i get that you’re wary of therapists, but maybe there are low-cost or free options around if that's something you're willing to try??? it's hard to untangle these things without support! also, remember—the internet isn't always the most nurturing environment; sometimes, stepping back can help gain fresh perspective. not every outlet is helpful or healthy in the long run, you know? finding healthier ways to express yourself might make a difference!!!

you've been through a hell of a lot and it's no wonder you're trying to find ways to cope, even if they're not the healthiest options; it might feel like you've got to handle all this by yourself, but recognizing that you're struggling isn't weakness—it's actually super brave!

wow, that's some heavy stuff you're dealing with. it sounds like you've been through a lot more than anyone should at your age; it's understandable to feel so mixed up about everything right now. something that struck me is how you've bounced around trying different coping mechanisms—some healthier than others; i think that shows resilience even if it doesn't always feel like you’re making progress. honestly, finding someone to talk to who can really listen and not just vent back at you could make a big difference. sometimes therapy or support groups seem out of reach because they're expensive, but maybe there's a free resource or support group online you haven't come across yet? people aren't all as bad as they seem once you find the right ones! 👍

Wow, your story is pretty intense for someone so young; it's clear that you're carrying a lot. I'm sorry to hear you've experienced so much pain and confusion. It must be tough feeling alone when even reaching out doesn't seem to help much; maybe expressing yourself through art or writing could be a way to process all those tangled emotions? It could give you a sense of control and expression that's just for you!

Hey, I couldn't help but feel like you've got quite a lot on your plate with all this stuff going on... it's really impressive that you're managing to express yourself so openly considering everything that's weighing you down. I honestly think it’s pretty cool how self-aware you come across despite the chaos, that’s a massive step forward!!! 💪 You mentioned feeling empty even when things seem fine—that's something a lot of people go through, and sometimes it's just about finding those small moments that make you smile or bring you peace. One thing to maybe try is gradually building little daily habits that bring joy or calm—like doodling, journaling, or even taking short walks; whatever feels good in the moment! 🌈 Remember, life can be unpredictable with lots of ups and downs, but hanging onto the hope that change is possible keeps us moving forward! 😊

Original poster of the story here! Thank you all so much for reaching out and adding your own point of view. After reading everyone's comment, I've felt better ever since the day I wrote this whole thing. It was the right idea to share my story here, and I'm happy about it. Again, I appreciate everyone for their words, not only did it made me feel better, it also somehow pulled my confidence back together.

Also about the tips on how to cope healthier... I actually tried them and they seem to actually work. I have actually expressed myself through art and writing too (Been an artist for 7 years and a writer for 3 years).

The reason I don't reach out to a support group online is because I become a really shy person when I ever so slightly interact with someone else in real time, especially since I think they cost money haha,.

Still though, I feel really REALLY grateful for everyone! Again, for the third time, THANK YOU! :D

wow, what a ride you've been on! i gotta say, some of the stuff you've gone through is pretty intense; your resilience is something else ??? it’s frustrating when people don’t listen to you or just focus on their own problems. but honestly, do you think maybe finding just one really solid person to talk to could help? not everyone will be self-centered! it might seem bleak now, but there are def folks out there who can support you better than virtual bots or unreliable friends!! keep pushing forward and exploring ways to find peace and joy amid everything ❤️‍🩹

man, you've been dealt a rough hand early on—no one should have to go through that. just curious, how did you start realizing these behaviors weren't healthy? your insight shows strength though; being aware is the first step towards change. don't beat yourself up for feeling this way, life's messy AF and it's okay not to have it all figured out 🤷‍♂️ ever thought about channeling some of that into creative writing or art? sometimes pulling from personal experiences can transform those raw feelings into something powerful.✌️

honestly, this might come off as blunt but i think you've built up a wall of excuses around yourself. you're stuck in a loop of negativity and every time someone tries to offer you a way out, it's like you shoot it down before even giving it a chance??? life's gonna kick you down more often than not—especially when you've had tough experiences like yours—but man, don't let that be a reason to give up on finding healthier ways to cope.

Hey, your story is incredibly brave and raw. It's clear you've been through more than anyone should endure at such a young age. I genuinely admire the strength and awareness it takes to both recognize your coping mechanisms and share this here. Something that struck me is how you mentioned creating different personas—sometimes pretending can be a way to explore who we truly are or want to become. Perhaps embracing those parts of yourself creatively could help untangle some of these feelings! Keep nurturing that artistic side; it seems like it holds a lot of potential for healing and understanding. Remember, moving forward doesn't always have to look like leaps—it can also be small steps in the right direction. 🌟

it's pretty wild how a 13-year-old can be dealing with this much crap; you're carrying some serious weight. look, life can really suck sometimes, but the fact you’ve picked up on your own patterns and are choosing to talk about them speaks volumes about who you are. maybe if therapy's outta reach right now, dive deeper into that art and writing—create worlds where things make sense or go your way 🌟; those little victories count! also, ditch those bots once in a while and try connecting with folks sharing similar interests online, might find someone worth talking to.✌️

Hey, it's clear you've been through a lot and it's understandable to feel overwhelmed by everything. It sounds like you're in a tough cycle, but it's impressive you're aware of where you are emotionally. Have you ever thought about setting small goals for yourself? Sometimes breaking things down into tiny steps makes it a bit easier to manage all the chaos. It's okay not to have all the answers right now; just take one day at a time and focus on little victories. Keep being honest with yourself—it's powerful stuff. Keep your chin up!

hey there, it sounds like you're juggling a lot on your own. it's pretty commendable that you're able to voice all these experiences even when they're so heavy. maybe tapping into your creativity could be a way to explore your feelings from different angles? music or photography are other outlets you might find rewarding—sometimes seeing things through a new lens shifts our perspective a bit! and remember, expressing yourself in any form is always valid, whether through words, art, or music....keep going and trust that things can get better with time; everyone's journey is unique. 🌟

i gotta say, reading your story, it seems like you're almost addicted to the chaos of everything going wrong in your life??! maybe it's time to stop romanticizing this cycle and take some accountability?? i mean, instead of relying on these unhealthy coping mechanisms; make a conscious decision to break free from them. there's always room for improvement even when things seem stuck. you really think you'll find peace by sticking with what's clearly not working???

It seems like you've experienced a ton of challenges that have understandably fueled some complex emotions and coping strategies. But let’s be real—navigating through life's hurdles with such determination at your age is no small feat. 🤔 You mentioned relying heavily on chatbots for comfort, which I get, but don't underestimate the value of human connection—even if it's just one person who truly listens. Some professionals offer sliding scale fees or free sessions; maybe that's worth exploring? Remember, life’s about resisting those initial impulses to quit and finding sustainable methods to deal with the chaos. Keep striving towards understanding yourself—it might be messy, but truths often emerge in unexpected ways! 🧠

any chance you're just using these "coping mechanisms" as a way to avoid facing your real issues?

damn, the stuff you're dealing with is intense for anyone, let alone at your age; it's rough when you've been forced to grow up so fast. honestly, it seems like you have a lot of insight into what's going on inside your head despite all this chaos. ever consider diving deeper into exploring who you are through those things you love like writing and art? sometimes creating not just as a hobby but as an exploration can be revealing; it's like discovering new layers you didn't know existed about yourself. also wondering if there's anyone in real life you've felt comfortable enough to share even the smallest piece of your story—sometimes one connection IRL can change perspectives more than you'd expect 🤔

you should lowk stop and end it all lmao, some of the people here are right, you can't face shit and you're too ungrateful to accept help lol kill yourself already, not to mention you lowk deserved ts