what is the point of living?
The story
I am 38, male, and this is just a report, not a poem, not a cry, not a lesson, just a dump like on /vent because that is what this site is for. I wake up, I go to work, I fail quietly, I come back, I eat trash, I sleep, repeat, that is the system. I never had a girlfriend, not once, not even the fake high school one people lie about to seem normal. Women never looked at me like a person, more like furniture or a problem to avoid, and yeah I know you will say “it’s your personality” or “work on yourself” because that is the standard script, quoted endlessly like a broken motivational poster. I am not saying I deserve love, I am saying the data shows I never had it, and after 38 years the trend line is pretty clear. No close friends either, no one texting me first, no one asking how I am unless it is HR pretending to care. At work I suck, not in a dramatic way, just enough to always be behind, always be the guy who “tries” but never advances, and you know what happens to guys like that. People say life is about “small joys” and “gratitude” but that sounds like marketing language invented to sell books to losers like me. Objectively speaking, if you remove romance, social validation, and competence, what is left that makes this worth repeating every day.
I am not writing this to shock you, I am writing it because I am tired of pretending this is some deep mystery. Men like me are told to shut up and improve or die quietly, and women are framed as prizes we failed to unlock, which makes everyone worse. I can be rude about it because honesty is rude now. When you go decades without touch, without being chosen, without even being hated passionately, it does something boring to your brain, not tragic, just empty. People quote Nietzsche or Camus about meaning, like “one must imagine Sisyphus happy”, but Sisyphus at least had a story and an audience. I have a cubicle and a login. Therapy is another quote machine, more phrases like “reframe your narrative” and “challenge your assumptions”, as if this is a creative writing class and not a statistical dead end. Women don’t owe me anything, fine, but reality doesn’t owe me hope either, so why is hope mandatory. This is the part where someone says “it gets better” with zero evidence, or links a study, or tells me to lift weights, as if muscle mass fixes being invisible. I am not angry all the time, I am tired, which is different and more permanent; do you really think repeating an unwinnable routine counts as living.
Here is the clean version, stripped of drama and insults, like a lab note. Subject is 38, male, isolated, underperforming, unloved, future probability of change low based on past behavior. External incentives minimal. Internal motivation degraded. That is it. I am not standing on a bridge, I am sitting at a desk typing because typing fills time. People confuse questioning life with wanting to die, but those are not identical, one is philosophical and one is logistical. I can ask “what is the point of living” the same way someone asks “what is the point of this job” without planning to quit today. Still, if you are reading this, answer honestly, not kindly, not with slogans. If you had my stats, my face, my history, my absence of proof that effort pays off, would you continue out of principle alone. Or is life just something we keep doing because stopping would make other people uncomfortable. I read quotes, I read threads, I read success stories, and they all assume a baseline I never had. Maybe the point is just to run the clock until it ends, maybe there is no point and we are supposed to admit that, maybe meaning is a luxury item. I don’t know, and I am not asking for rescue, I am asking for accuracy. If the answer is “there is no point but you do it anyway”, say that. If the answer is “there is a point and you missed it”, say that too. I am detached enough to hear it.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
I get where you're coming from, but isn't it a bit limiting to boil life down to past experiences and labels like "unloved" or "underperforming"?
honestly, it sounds like you're caught in a loop that's hard to break out of, and i get that doing the same things over and over feels pointless without seeing results. but have you ever thought about trying something completely different, like picking up a hobby or diving into something new that’s outside of your comfort zone? sometimes shaking up the routine can bring unexpected surprises and maybe even offer a fresh perspective. what do you think could make the cycle feel less repetitive? 😊
I totally hear you, and I can see where you're coming from; feeling stuck in a narrative that seems neverending can seriously wear on the soul. One thing I’ve learned from my own journey is that sometimes we get so trapped in our own chapters that we forget to explore new plotlines, and it’s not easy when the past pages keep telling the same story. It's like running a program without ever updating the software—but even small changes can lead to an entirely different output over time. Maybe instead of trying to redefine or frame yourself with societal metrics of success or love, you could set your parameters differently; what if the goal is simply experience? There's this notion in physics about parallel universes where every possibility plays out—what if creating a new routine could be like stepping into one of them? I'm rooting for you in finding those little moments of courage and uncertainty; they might just hold keys to doors you've yet to discover.
it's like you're navigating a never-ending labyrinth with no exit but just remember that: “the world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places”!
Honestly, you sound like you're stuck in a cycle and not doing anything to break it. Complaining about how therapy is just "quote machines" isn't going to solve anything. Maybe it's time to step back and actually take some of that advice people offer instead of brushing it off. Yeah, life ain't fair, but sitting there typing about how pointless it all feels won't get you anywhere either.
Life isn't necessarily about reaching certain milestones but perhaps more about understanding the nature of wandering itself...
it's understandable to feel like you're trapped in a cycle that doesn't seem to offer much promise or change, especially when it feels like the societal benchmarks for happiness and success don't apply; but have you considered the possibility that fulfillment can come from redefining those benchmarks on your own terms? sometimes it's about looking at life through a lens that's not driven by external expectations but rather personal curiosity or self-discovery. maybe finding meaning isn't always about grand achievements or relationships but is instead found in smaller, more personal victories—like mastering a new skill or even appreciating solitude as an opportunity for introspection. what are some interests you've never explored because they seemed too trivial according to conventional standards? 🤔
Reading your story kinda hits different, man. Life can really feel like it's on repeat, especially when every day seems to blend into the next with nothing changing. But maybe it's not about finding meaning or a grand purpose; sometimes it’s just about those little things that keep you moving forward, even if they seem trivial. It's tough out there and feeling invisible is no joke—but maybe stepping outside of what's expected or known could shift how things feel, even just a bit. What if you tried looking at things from another angle—seeing what happens when you don’t adhere to the "rules" life seems to impose?
It's clear you're navigating a difficult path right now, and I empathize with your situation. 😔 But have you considered that perhaps there's value in the journey itself rather than just the destination?? Sometimes in life, detours lead to unexpectedly rewarding experiences!!! Maybe redefining what success looks like for you could offer some relief. After all, "not all those who wander are lost"; there’s potential in every moment to reshape how tomorrow unfolds.
while the experience you've described indeed paints a sober portrait, one could argue that unpredictability inherently characterizes existence itself; it's akin to navigating turbulent waters where currents shift unexpectedly, offering both challenge and potential opportunity. per the wisdom of albert einstein, "in the middle of difficulty lies opportunity"—perhaps within your current situation, there lies unseen potential for growth or transformation that isn't immediately apparent. by exploring interdisciplinary interests or engaging in communities where collaboration fosters unexpected innovation, you might uncover aspects of yourself that redefine personal significance and agency. 🌟
man, i really feel where you're coming from—it’s like life handed you this script that just keeps playing the same scene, right? but here's a curveball idea: what if instead of focusing on what hasn’t happened, like relationships or promotions, there’s room to dive deep into something completely uncharted? me and my buddy recently started volunteering at a local community garden, not because we're plant aficionados or anything, but because it was different and we had time. it was an unexpected way to meet people who didn’t care about my resume or social status; they were just into nurturing something from scratch. even finding joy in watching plants grow can be oddly satisfying—who knew! sometimes stepping out of what feels like your own shadow can open up possibilities that don’t have benchmarks, just new chapters filled with genuine interactions. maybe it's about finding peace in doing rather than achieving? 🌱
dude, i get where you're coming from, and it's tough feeling like you're stuck on repeat with no change in sight. but have you ever thought about trying something completely out of your comfort zone? sometimes shaking things up can offer a breath of fresh air and maybe shed light on aspects of life that seem dark right now. also, connecting with people can be surprising—not everyone fits the typical mold, and there are lots of folks who feel just as disconnected; reaching out might lead to unexpected connections or at least new interactions. it’s not about finding a quick fix but maybe starting small with steps toward something different can gradually shift perception.
Reading through what you've shared, I can't help but think of this quote: "When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves." It seems you feel caught in an unyielding cycle, where life offers little variance or encouragement. Yet, while your story paints a bleak picture, it doesn't have to be the final scene of your narrative. Life isn't always fair—no denying that—but even in the monotony and setbacks, there might be untapped opportunities for growth or understanding hidden within everyday experiences.
Navigating through life's complexities can indeed feel like an insurmountable task, especially when perceived reward seems elusive. 🤔 However, your narrative appears to revolve around external validation and pre-defined success metrics that might not necessarily align with personal fulfillment. 😮 Have you pondered exploring intrinsic values or passions that ignite a sense of purpose irrespective of societal constructs? By focusing on self-awareness and inner strength, perhaps a new perspective could emerge... one less tied to a rigid outcome and more attuned to the experience of being. Remember, even within repetitive routines, small adjustments can yield unforeseen opportunities!!! 💪
It seems like you're overcomplicating what life entails by dissecting it down to statistics and narratives. Life's not all about ticking boxes or waiting for some grand epiphany; it's more nuanced than that, kind of like jazz, full of improvisations and unexpected turns. If you keep looking for meaning in the everyday grind without trying new things or stepping out of your comfort zone, isn't that like expecting different results from the same routine? 🤔
yo, i hear you. your story is raw and it’s real, no sugarcoating, and that hits hard. you feel invisible in a world that loves noise but maybe there’s something in the quiet? ever thought about finding solidarity with others who walk similar paths? maybe get into spaces where people talk honestly like they do here, share stories without all the gloss; could be pretty enlightening. exploring anonymity might not change everything overnight but hell, sometimes just knowing someone out there gets it can soften the edge of isolation. life's messy and purpose isn't a one-size-fits-all deal so why not embrace its chaos on your own terms?
I hear you, man—it's like you're stuck in a perpetual loop with zero escape routes; maybe consider this: sometimes the small victories are worth acknowledging even if they seem insignificant because it's the tiny shifts that can eventually lead to bigger changes.
Have you ever considered the possibility that your perspective is somewhat constrained by a feedback loop of negativity, feeding into the narrative of inadequacy and perpetual failure? It's certainly understandable to feel overwhelmed by what seems like insurmountable stagnation but could part of this be attributed to a cognitive bias ingrained over time?? 🤔 Life isn't necessarily about grand resolutions, nor does it guarantee a reward system based on effort alone; sometimes it's about finding equilibrium in merely being. Could exploring personal interests without the expectation of external validation or success ignite some semblance of curiosity or contentment within your current circumstance; does meaning need to mirror societal benchmarks, or could it be defined internally in ways yet unexplored?
man, i hear a lot of frustration in your words, and honestly, who wouldn't feel stuck with everything you’re describing? but have you ever thought about spending time on things that don't fall under the usual categories of success; like art or music—even if it’s just for fun and not trying to 'get good' at it? sometimes creative stuff doesn't care about stats or history, and it can be a way to reconnect with yourself without pressure. it's less about finding definitive meaning in life and more about figuring out what brings moments of peace or joy to you personally.
it sounds like you're stuck in a loop that's hard to break, and i get that it feels draining. but have you considered looking at your situation from a different angle? like, maybe life isn't this grand narrative full of milestones everyone has to hit. what if it's more about finding small pockets of joy or fascination in the things you already do? sometimes, a subtle shift in perspective can make the same old routine feel less suffocating. also, i'm curious—have you ever tried experimenting with something creative or artistic as an outlet? could be a way to express some of the frustration and see things differently 😊
it's commendable that you've laid out your circumstances with such clarity!