I don't know what I'm doing in that office. I want to leave and never come back because I'm fed up with them. I always have to put up with one thing after another, always settle for sad shortcomings, with their nonsense, their pressure tactics, taking advantage of the fact that I won't say a word. I'm tired of their mistakes. Where on earth is their education? Their civic engagement? Their appreciation for knowledge? Or do they just think they know everything about what they already know? For God's sake, they're people who are nothing but accumulating knowledge and nothing more. They don't question anything, they use completely outdated language, they follow sad trends purely for petty political maneuvering. I'm tired of that office, and it calls itself a university when all I see is a smokescreen at the expense of equally corrupt politics. They're people who make a living by embellishing things when I don't see any examples. Where the hell are the examples? Where on earth are the citizens practicing their civic duty? I don't think they know what that means. I don't think they know anything about being with others because they only seek to change things. They don't know how to coexist, they don't know how to negotiate. I'm tired of putting up with them. I'm tired of them living their lives at the expense of me being unable to say anything, at the expense of cornering others. What on earth is wrong with these people? How on earth can the state allow a company like this, for God's sake? They may be very academic and all that, which they do brilliantly, but only for the people who aren't critical, who happen to be the same academics in the community. It's pointless to talk to them because they don't know anything about criticism; they only know how to keep silent, maintain groups, and give orders. They don't know what it means to be an academic, they don't even know how to plan an event that suits the people, but rather their community, the purpose of which is education. I hope, for God's sake, they find any excuse, for the love of God, let it be so, to get me fired because I have no reason to put up with their betrayal of the country. Why don't I associate with people who are for the country? Who strengthen it? Who inspire it? But I don't think even my friends will understand this conversation in any way; perhaps they'll grasp it, but that's one thing, and the ingrained practices are another. There are no citizens, no country, nothing, so where am I? Where do I stand? I am completely abandoned, naturally, by the system, which, because it believes I have no one else to consult, thinks I'll just let them manipulate me, that I won't get ahead, that I won't know what happened, when that was never the point. It's about opening oneself up to the diverse experiences that have occurred, along with everything that entails, in order to address them or remain grounded, through actions that safeguard one's space. It's there that one can operate, not through imposing or invasive methods. It's just a matter of luck that a beast will awaken, as happened with my boss when he thought I'd never make him see the significance of his abandonment of me in the other place. But I don't think he, being an educator, can even see that. For the first time, I feel I'm not dealing with prepared people, despite their academic degrees and all. I don't feel they're prepared; I feel they're clumsy. I have every right to speak this way. They claim to be prepared to serve society when they know the least about being in it. But the problem is that later, they'll surely voice their doubts to see if a grimace or something will indicate, for God's sake, some reference that has nothing to do with the grimace, even though there are scientific studies on the matter. Personally, I'm the only one who deserves to be in the community and hold a relevant position, but I definitely can't do it alone. It means taking on an entire system, and I'm not in the mood for that. I just know that their way of life permeates my work, it overwhelms me. The last thing I do there is work, because being a citizen, the foundation, isn't reinforced at all. They don't care about who's fulfilling their obligations, but rather who fits in with them, for God's sake. They're completely unaware, because they don't care, of what they fit in with, and then they go around complaining about why life doesn't treat them the way they want, when it's precisely through this social engagement that they sustain themselves, mobilize, and develop their visions. That's it. They don't care about their visions, about a foundation, about establishing themselves.

I keep writing, and I don't know why. At least I'm realizing what I can say to them, but I can't do more than that. For God's sake, I don't want to think about them at all. I have no interest in talking to them. They're not capable, not even in a million, of holding a conversation. I don't see them as capable of anything other than making the world the way they please, forcing things, and acting like they're the kings of discourse, when in fact they're not. There's no coexistence based on principles.

Coexistence here is based solely on conflict, stemming from the group dynamic of denying appearances—it's the last straw. I don't live in a society governed by laws, but by things I don't know where they get them from; comparing them to animals is ridiculous. They operate on the principle that nothing will be said so that everything is alright. I'm tired of having to adapt to something I absolutely shouldn't have to, for God's sake. I don't want them to think about me, I don't want them to. They'll only ask questions to control me without realizing it. I don't want to be with them; they're not worthy of me. To put it bluntly, I only want to be with citizens. I don't feel that even my friend has that civic spirit; she's probably up to something, I don't know what. I don't feel I can be with them. They live by the rules, but nothing more. I'm fed up with them, absolutely. I can't even look them in the face. And of course, they dwell on what wasn't done and what was done, always looking for the opposite, only to fail when they fail again. They just try to distance themselves from the situation, all because they don't develop according to principles.

It's absolutely disgusting to see my friend, who can't be with me, can't sit with me, without coming up with the excuse that it's because of work. She's simply dragged along by it, while I'm struggling to navigate it all. She doesn't take responsibility, she doesn't do anything about what's happening in her life. Instead, she abandons what she doesn't know how to do, and what she does know, well, that's all she can do, but without going any further. They are extremely limited in their approach; they don't develop their potential, only focus on rhetoric. I don't know what I'm doing in that office. I ask myself that every day. I wonder what I'm doing in my own country when everywhere I go, it's excluded, and I'm excluded too. Whether they care or not—and they should care, if they're even in it—they're hurting me. But all they know is their own interests, pure and simple domination. I'm tired of being disappointed. I wish I didn't have to see the people who claim to be from my country, who say this is their homeland, but their actions tell a different story. Just like my boss, who is the very image of someone who cares about the pain of others at the expense of his own reputation. A truly wretched man, an abuser of other people's suffering, and that's exactly what the people are fed up with. He also creates an internal tyranny that we all have to endure because of what he does. Definitely, there's no worse individual in the world, by God, than a tyrant, and we're all fed up with tyrants in my country now.

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