I'm struggling with therapy
The story
Uh hi, hoping this will send? I'm Robbie (dw it's a nickname) and go by he/him.
I just realised I don’t trust my therapist anymore, if I ever did.
My parents sent me to therapy for my self destructive coping mechanisms June last year, and even then we never even adressed my coping mechanisms. She (my therapist) once asked awkwardly if I was still doing those, and I wasn’t at the time, so I said so, and now I never mention relapses.
I’m afraid to tell her I’m depressed again since I only got out years of depression this April (cause I got myself outta an ensmeshed traumatising friendship) so it’s bad for me to be depressed again, to still have bad thoughts,
I’m afraid my therapist will judge me, more than she does already when for example i mention I’m a positive nihilist,
and I mean therapy was useful until April cause I always vented about that “friendship” and that helped but it doesn’t help anymore when my therapist brings up H. (the past friend) these days, feels like im being retraumatised when I hear their name.
Guess I should be thankful I even got a trans accepting therapist in the first place, I mean it was my therapist who convinced my parents to accept me as trans after all these years of them not accepting it. Ugh idk.
These days each session my therapist asks me how I feel, I say “fine if a bit stressed” she asks how I’m feeling about H., I move on swiftly and move onto the subject of what school drama I’ve been involved in recently makes me angry, give that I’m finally able to feel anger as a emotion for the first time in my life nowadays.
And look, I lie a lot, and my therapist doesn’t realise, I’m sure she realises some of it, but not all, not when it matters, and yes i suppose i should stop lying but I fear her judgement so much.
So yeah, these days I feel like I'm back 3 years, meaning that I'm navigating my mental issues all on my own, and luckily I'm doing so in much healthier ways than i did three years back, But still, it's lonely, and it feels unfair to me that i have a therapist, one that Ive had a year and a half and yet I dont feel able to address actual issues with her anymore. I feel i havent been able to address any actual issues with her ever since I cut ties with H. I mean, Maybe i was never really talking about myself, I was always talking about H. back then, H. was my life, and I suppose I never learnt to actually talk about my issues after H.
And now every session therapy feels like a waste of time, as I'm lying half the time, and otherwise talking about mundane stuff that i just bitch to my friends about anyways. And my therapists office is so far, it takes about 3 hours from my day each time i have a session even when the sessions are only 1 hour. And I've got such paranoia and fear about wasting time because of some of that trauma involving having been enmeshed with H.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
Man, sounds like you’re stuck in a loop with that therapist. If you're lying and not addressing what’s eating at you, it's like shooting blanks in therapy. Might be time to look into finding someone else who doesn't keep dragging H. into the conversation unless it’s actually helping—and respects when it's not useful anymore. Better to spend those three hours doing something productive than wasting them on sessions that don’t help, right?
Hi "Robbie"!
completely get how frustrating it can be to feel like you’re just going through the motions in therapy, especially when you've already made so much progress on your own; maybe it's about finding a therapist who clicks better with where you're at now..someone who's ready to help you face these new challenges and not keep revisiting past ones that hold you back.
sounds like you're stuck in a cycle that's not leading anywhere productive. if therapy's become about old baggage and isn't addressing your current struggles, maybe it's not the right fit anymore. why bother when it feels pointless and you can't open up without fear of judgment? plus those long trips sound like more hassle than they're worth for what you're getting out of it. consider exploring other options or even taking a break from formal therapy to reassess what you need; finding someone who actually listens to what's important now is key.
i get where you're coming from; it’s tough when the therapeutic relationship feels stagnant. sounds like you’re not getting what you need out of these sessions anymore, especially if they keep circling back to H. sometimes therapy needs a bit of a refresh—either by being more upfront with her about your current struggles or considering a different therapist who might bring new insight. three hours is a long time for something that’s no longer beneficial, maybe think about ways to maximize its value or redirect that time elsewhere.
maybe it's time to reevaluate the therapeutic alliance itself, robbie 🤔 since you're not feeling secure enough to disclose genuine concerns, the relationship could be fundamentally flawed; a strong therapeutic rapport is foundational for progress. while your therapist has been instrumental in some significant ways, ongoing therapy should be dynamic and evolve with your needs. stagnation is counterproductive. consider approaching this discussion with her—it may prompt change or help you confirm if new guidance would better serve your development. ultimately, taking ownership of what you need in therapy can empower you and catalyze transformation...
it appears you’re in a therapeutic stalemate that doesn’t align with your current emotional needs. it's critical to address the core issues rather than merely skirting around them or focusing on past relationships; have you considered whether this therapist is adept at handling the nuanced challenges you're currently facing? if therapy sessions aren’t conducive to genuine progress, seeking someone who is judicious and empathetic could make all the difference. perhaps evaluating other modalities or therapy styles might prove more fruitful and align better with your evolving state of mind????
i gotta say, it sounds like you're doing a lot of work on your own already, and maybe this therapist just isn't aligned with where you are right now; perhaps it's worth considering a fresh start with someone who gets that therapy should evolve as you do and who focuses on growth without dragging up old wounds.
hey robbie! sounds like your therapy sessions are just spinning in circles without getting anywhere. maybe it's time to reevaluate what you want from therapy and find someone who aligns with those goals, especially if they're stuck on H. and you're ready to move forward. plus, being open is crucial: if you’re feeling judged or misunderstood, it’s hard to find any healing there. 🙄 finding someone who gets where you're coming from might just be the change you need right now.
hey robbie, totally get why you're feeling stuck with this therapist, man; therapy's meant to be a safe space for you to talk about what's really going on! maybe it's worth considering having an honest convo with them about how their focus isn't aligning with your needs anymore. it's crucial that these sessions serve you and not the other way around; use that time wisely so you're actually getting something out of it. life's too short to waste on things that don't help 🤔
sounds like you're feeling pretty stuck with your current therapist, robbie; maybe it's worth thinking about what you really want out of therapy. being able to be open and honest is key to making progress, so if you're holding back cause of fear or judgment, that's a big red flag. if it's not benefiting you anymore, it might be time to consider finding someone who makes you feel safe enough to talk about the real issues you're facing now. no shame in looking for something that works better for you!
sounds like you're caught in a sort of therapeutic quicksand, robbie; it’s like trying to climb out with someone who keeps pulling you back in.
hey robbie, i get it's frustrating to feel trapped in this loop with therapy not hitting the mark for you anymore 🤷♂️; it almost sounds like your therapist is on auto-pilot asking about H. while you're itching to move on and tackle what's current. have you thought about voicing these concerns directly to her during a session? sometimes therapists aren’t aware of how their approach might be missing the mark unless we tell them straight up. 😅 communication there might open the door for a shift in focus towards what genuinely matters to you right now: that new sense of anger, feelings of isolation, or even navigating life post-H. if after that things still don’t change, obviously looking elsewhere could make more sense but being upfront first gives both of you a chance to adapt before deciding if it's really time for a switch-up;
Hey Robbie, sounds like you're feeling pretty overwhelmed with this therapy situation. 🙁 It's a shame when the sessions don't feel productive or focused on what really matters to you right now. Have you thought about setting new goals for your therapy sessions? You could try bringing up some of the things you’ve been working through on your own and see if that shifts the focus a bit. Sometimes steering the conversation in another direction can open up new avenues for growth. What's one thing you'd want to talk about if it wasn't always circling back to H.?
dude, sounds like you're kinda stuck in therapy limbo. tbh, if your therapist's focus is always on H. and that part feels like it's holding you back from dealing with your own stuff now, maybe it's time to shake things up a bit. when you can't even be honest 'cause of fear of judgment, it feels more damaging than helpful, ya know? i get why you might feel guilty or afraid of change after they helped with your acceptance journey, but your mental health comes first. therapy's meant to be for *you*, not just rehashing old stuff or taking 3 hours just to dance around what's really going on. maybe try looking around for someone who doesn't just see you through a past lens but actually meets you where you are now. 🌧️
Hey Robbie! Seems like therapy's been a bit of a mixed bag for you lately, huh? It's wild how those old patterns keep popping up even when we think we're done with them. Have you thought about what you'd want your therapist to focus on if it wasn't H.? Like, if you could steer the ship in any direction, where would you take it? Getting clear on that might help with feeling like you're getting more from the sessions.
Robbie, it's clear there's a sense of "disconnect" between you and your therapist's approach. Trust is vital in therapy, and if you feel unable to share openly or are fearing judgment, that’s something worth addressing directly with them. Therapy should feel like a collaboration where both parties work towards your mental well-being, not just revisit old narratives. It might be beneficial to explore different therapeutic methods or even another therapist who makes space for your current emotional landscape rather than the past. I’ve felt similar before and realized how crucial it is to feel heard and understood in sessions.
Thank you all for your comments, I really didn't think I'd get this much support. After some deliberation my parents and I have decided to reduce the amount of sessions I have to once a month instead of twice a month. And on a personal level I'm going to see if i can bring up emotional range issues I've been meaning to talk about. I'm also going to tell her directly that I don't want to talk about H. unless H. is truly related to what we're discussing.
Yo Robbie, I feel you on this one ❤️
hey robbie, sorry to hear that therapy isn't really hitting the spot for you anymore; it must be frustrating investing all that time for sessions that aren’t feeling worthwhile.