Im raised in a poor economy family. My parents like each other but sometimes they debate. Father used to drink and i found my mom with a bruise once. One time i grabbed him by the throat, not sure if he remembers that. Growing up i didnt have or asked much of them. I tried to be the one to keep the calm. When i started university i moved with my sister in another city, my mind was on my mom and dad if they were fine home. Sister is emotional too so i see her upset sometimes too. Thing are good now its not like we dont love each other.

Growing up in this “mist” of my emotions and others emotions, i think, it has made me scared of conflict, i dont like loud environments, loud people, debates to the point that sometimes i give up smth just to find peace.

In the same time i feel anger swelling inside.

Im 24 now, single guy, virgin, afraid of relationships. Ive had 2 or 3 girls that i know that they liked me or flirted with me but i didnt took the chance.

Trying to look good and smell nice and all bc im worried of judgment and in the same time im narcissistic, im better and smarter. Im right.

All of this caused me to be an ambivert, few friends. I like to draw or play electric guitar or go out on my own.

Thinking how to make money to see my family happy. They happy me no problems, me peace.

Interested in love but afraid of it.

Overthinking is the enemy but im me.

Couldnt care if i died today, but that would make my family sad so thats not an option either.

Im fucked

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