Positive update
The story
Why am I on the "top" page 🥲 that's cringe. But whatever. Anyways, I've been doing better, usually I get all lonely and existential, especially at night but after many videos, I found something that works. I could be afraid that l that I would end up just as lonely and existential tomorrow but I don't think so, I know myself and I know that if I did then I would already say it on the day of that I "healed".
Don't have any friends yet 🧍idk about a boyfriend or even hookups, idk why but they sound not as appealing as they used to be, maybe it's me being trans and my body, this is TMI but I always would sometimes get nauseous just thinking about my "parts" being used, I would be fine sometimes, idk what's going on there, whether I should get surgery or not.
I probably would've gotten better mentally more faster if I had professional help but I don't even know where to start with that, which is fine, It's something I'm slowly making my way towards. I go back to school next year and maybe even a job, there's this ex-friend that works at a fast food place, my mom keeps talking to her about me working there and then when we go there, the girl is asking.
I trusted my parents this year and thought I would get a job this year but it didn't happen. Now that it's almost ending, idk how to feel, like I figured out a lot to where I really only have one problem which is just social stuff and social anxiety. I would go into despair, like "what if I end up like those 35 year olds that are depressed and lonely and hate life" Tho, I don't wanna end up with the negative mindset of just hating life and like worries. I literally do everything I can to not mentally become that, obviously when I'm doing happier and better in general then it's easier to reach towards a goal. I feel like the worst time to make a friend is when you're desperate and lonely in chrisis. Those things take time and in those desperate times, you want quickness.
I just think about those old people with colorful hair and dressed well in the way they want to, and I just hope its me one day. Hopefully I still love nana and then when I die, hopefully my energy is still in love with nana.
Byee! Thxs for reading <3 🩷🖤
Stories in the same category
Points of view
It seems like you've got a lot on your mind. It's understandable to feel unsure about the future or choices, especially when it comes to big decisions like surgery or career paths. But I'm not entirely convinced that finding friends or partners should be on hold just because of social anxiety; sometimes, having supportive people around can actually help with those feelings. And regarding therapy, while it's true you might not know where to start, there are usually resources available even if the path is unclear at first. Maybe reaching out online could unearth some leads? Plus, thinking about becoming someone like those older folks who embrace themselves is admirable, but it's okay if it takes time to figure out how you want to get there!!
so, what kind of videos helped you find something that works for you?
I totally get where you’re coming from. I’ve also had times when I felt lost and wasn’t sure what my next step should be. But then, a simple walk in the park turned into a moment of clarity for me. Being around nature somehow put things into perspective, and I realized that it's okay to take baby steps toward finding what makes us comfortable.
Nature definitely has that effect sometimes! Glad it helped you find clarity.
wow, congrats on making it to the "top" page... not that it's a big deal or anything 😆. but seriously, you're dealing with a lot and it sounds like you've already made some good progress figuring out what works for you. starting school again and maybe getting a job could be great opportunities to meet new people without rushing it. funny how life’s more about becoming that colorful old person than having all the answers right now, right? hang in there!
Man, it's all a journey figuring things out and honestly, you're doing better than most just by straight up admitting where you're at. 😅 Social anxiety and all that can be a real pain but like you said, it's worse to make connections when you're in panic mode; thinking about those vibrant older folks is actually such a cool way to see the future 🌈 Sure doesn't feel great when parents and old buds start pushing on jobs and stuff; do it at your own pace though! Just remember, moving slow is still moving foward. Keep it up!!
Reading your story, it's amazing to see the growth and self-awareness you've developed. 🌟 It takes a lot of strength to reflect on what's working and what isn't, especially with something as complex as existential feelings and identity. The idea that you don't need quick fixes but rather want authentic connections really resonates; people often rush things when feeling lonely, which can lead to more stress. As for getting professional help, even if it's daunting at first, know that every small step counts toward your progress and understanding. Working in fast food (or anywhere else) might surprise you with new experiences and insights. You've got this! Take it one day at a time and focus on being the person you aspire to be. 💪
man, sounds like a rollercoaster but props for all the self-awareness! i feel you on the parents and job situation. sometimes they just don't get it or things don't pan out as planned. about feeling weird in social sitches; i've had times where just joining a hobby group eased that awkwardness. plus, thinking about future 'you' rocking life is a cool vibe! keep aiming for that, it'll give direction through the chaos!
man, i felt the same way when i was figuring out college stuff last year... so overwhelming
it's kinda relatable, you know? you have all these questions about your body and future that can feel overwhelming. but maybe it's not just about having everything figured out right now. like, i get the feeling of needing to rush into fixing things, but sometimes taking it slow actually helps in understanding who we are and what we really want. sure, professional help sounds daunting when you're unsure where to begin (you're not alone in that), but even small steps matter. maybe joining a community or group with similar experiences could shed some light? those colorful old folks sound rad...who knows, maybe you'll be rocking your own style before you know it!
Hey there! I totally get where you're coming from; it's tricky trying to navigate these life decisions and feelings. It must be a bit overwhelming balancing thoughts about your identity, potential surgery, school, and work, but it sounds like you're taking important steps by just reflecting on them. Personally, I've found that sometimes the pressure of having everything figured out can be more stressful than the actual uncertainty itself. One thing that's helped me? Just breaking things into smaller, manageable pieces and celebrating progress (no matter how small) can make the bigger picture less daunting. And don't forget, your story is still unfolding; there's plenty of time to become that fabulous older person rocking colorful hair and loving every moment!
wow, your post really resonated with me. sounds like you're on a journey to figure things out at your own pace and that's totally valid!!! it's tough not knowing where life will lead but having those goals like being colorful and happy in the future is awesome. sometimes taking tiny steps towards finding what feels right can be more helpful than diving into big changes all at once. as for professional help, maybe a simple search or asking a school counselor (once you're back) could give you some direction? baby steps add up over time! 😊
Hey, your post really got me thinking; it's refreshing to see someone exploring their feelings and making strides towards understanding themselves better. It's totally okay to feel a bit lost when it comes to big decisions like surgery or careers, but just taking the time to reflect on what matters most is a huge deal. As for making friends, sometimes the people we meet in unexpected places can make all the difference (even in fast-food joints), so who knows what possibilities are out there? I definitely relate to that feeling of uncertainty about ending up alone at 35, but trust me, every step you're taking now is building you towards a life that's true to you. Remember those old folks with colorful hair? They've probably been through similar struggles and found happiness by staying true to themselves! Keep moving forward, you've got this 🧡
whoa its like ur inside my brain lol i remeber feeling exactly like that like social anxiety ugh rite now tho im kinda better still freaks me out
ever feel like you're just floating through existential dread and everyone’s trying to push you into their version of life?
Maybe we all just need time to figure things out?
Reading your post got me thinking about how much of life is kind of like those old-school video games where you level up little by little, figuring things out as you go along. It's totally valid to not have all the answers yet, especially when it comes to big decisions like surgery. I've seen friends who were in similar situations, taking each challenge day by day and gradually finding their way; sometimes it's surprising what works itself out once you just start moving forward with whatever bits you can manage today. Keep being patient with yourself, you're on your own unique journey 😊
I experienced something similar when I took a semester off from school. At first, it seemed daunting and endless but eventually taking time off gave me space to sort through some personal issues. When I returned, everything made more sense emotionally and mentally even if it wasn't perfect yet. Taking your own pace can be surprisingly beneficial.
i totally get where you're coming from with the whole feeling lost and existential; nights can be especially tough when those thoughts start to overwhelm. it's cool that you found something that works for you through videos; we all have our own coping mechanisms, right? relationships and body stuff are tricky, especially when you've got so much going on internally. figuring out whether surgery is right or even what kind of social connections you want seems like a massive puzzle but taking your time with these decisions means you'll likely find answers that truly resonate with you. just remember, there’s no rush, keep focusing on what matters most to you and those bigger questions will eventually clear up!
Not everybody needz frends rn maybe u just need focus a little on ownself
Have you thought about what kind of professional help you might want? Therapy can really vary depending on who you're seeing and what kind of assistance you're looking for; not everyone hits it off with the first counselor they try. It's worth considering what aspects you're most ready or able to face at this point in life before diving in fully.