Why do I have these feelings?
The story
So today I was totally happy and excited with my swimming class but then at the same lane I saw a couple and the just for a while I felt a little bit sad, lonely or tense. This happened first at november’22 while I was being part of a great job and there I met a couple and everytime that I saw them together I started feeling sad. It was weird and I think that everyone notices it and that was one of the main reasons that I lost the job, it was a good one. Then, last year, after two years without feeling like that I had the same feeling but with two coworkers, it all started at a party and I saw this woman dressed pretty well and she was dancing and interacting a lot with this other coworker, that I never liked or had feelings. But then I started feeling sad whenever they interact with each other. And now, today I felt a little bit like before but not that much so I don’t know why do I feel like that? Of course, I’m gonna talk about this with my therapist but tbh I feel a little bit awkward to have those feelings. I don’t like them and I don’t know why. Am I the only who has ever felt like that? I think that maybe deep down I’m a little bit insecure but then the rest is like new to me, like why do I feel this way? Or maybe because I feel lonely or kinda unlovable or maybe because sometimes I think that I would never meet someone, I don’t know
Stories in the same category
Points of view
it sounds like you're really digging deep into how these situations make you feel and that's already a good step forward, figuring out why certain moments trigger sadness or insecurity can be tough to pin down sometimes. could it be possible that when you see others interacting in ways that seem intimate or special, it might amplify any feelings of loneliness or self-doubt? it's not unusual to have unexpected emotions crop up at different times, especially if they remind us of past experiences. trust me, you're definitely not alone in feeling this way and it's excellent that you're considering talking with your therapist about it. just remember, analyzing why we feel certain things is key to understanding ourselves better!
it's really normal to feel that way, seeing others coupled up can bring out all sorts of emotions. sounds like you're tuned into your feelings which is a great first step. maybe it's about wanting what they have, or even just feeling left out in the moment; you'll probably get better insight from talking to your therapist so that's good you're doing that. but for real, don't be too hard on yourself for having those feelings... they happen to lots of us and you're definitely not alone in this.
I felt left out, more like oh I’m lonely or oh I feel alone
man, you're definitely not alone feeling that way. i've been in those situations too where seeing happy couples just hits me with a wave of sadness or insecurity. it's like this trigger that makes you question yourself even if everything else in life seems fine. i think talking to your therapist is great, they'll help get to the bottom of it and maybe it'll be less about loneliness than you think. but hey, at least you're aware and want to figure it out! that's a pretty solid first step!!!
I can understand why you might feel that way when seeing couples interacting. Loneliness can sometimes creep up in unexpected moments, especially if you are longing for that same kind of connection yourself. It is interesting that these feelings seem to be tied to particular contexts like work or social settings. Perhaps there is something about those environments that triggers this response in you.
But why those environments? Work lmfao, It’s kinda pathetic and I’m a little bit ashamed to feel like that
It's not pathetic at all, even though it might feel awkward. Workplaces and social settings are spaces where we naturally look for connection (maybe without realizing it), so it's kinda normal to feel out of place when you see others getting it. It's less about the setting and more about how you're feeling in that moment, I guess.
this sounds pretty relatable, tbh. everyone has those random moments when emotions just hit outta nowhere and it leaves you questioning everything. 🤔 maybe it's a mix of watching other people being happy together and thinking about your own situation; that's kinda human nature, i guess. talking to a therapist is the right call. they can help untangle why these feelings keep cropping up. no need to feel awkward about it though, just getting to the root can bring some clarity; things like this are often more common than we realize 🌟
But I think that’s not healthy or ok to have these feelings, like everyone even notice when I feel weird or down (even when I know deep down that’s not true). I don’t wanna feel like that, I want quick answers sometimes going to the core it’s too slowly and I wish I could already know why something like this is messing some moments. Maybe it’s trauma who knows? It’s not easy to have many thoughts and feelings, like oh Why am I feeling like this again? or Fuck now everybody knows it or the classic I’m alone and I can’t truly enjoy my loneliness I don’t know, sometimes it’s exhausting
it really can be super exhausting, right? quick answers would be a dream... but unfortunately, emotions don't always work like that. it's human to feel overwhelmed sometimes and maybe it's not about being "unhealthy" or "okay." it's just part of processing and figuring things out. You're taking steps by thinking about it and seeing a therapist (that's important). maybe try not to be so hard on yourself in the meantime. 🌈
hey i get feeling a bit down around couples but maybe it's not as bad as you're thinking. sometimes we just overthink things and it ends up making us feel worse, you know?
And how can I stop being an overthinker?
easier said than done, right? 😅 but maybe try to catch yourself in the middle of overthinking. distract your mind with something else for a bit or practice being mindful if you can. it's not a quick fix but might help slow things down...
man, you're definitely not alone in feeling that way; seeing happy couples can trigger feelings of loneliness or insecurity for sure.
It sounds like you might be projecting your own insecurities onto others' relationships, which is quite common; have you considered if it's more about wanting something similar for yourself rather than actual sadness about their happiness?
And how can you stop projecting your own insecurities?
Identifying the triggers can be a first step to help manage it. Like, when you notice those feelings creeping in, take a moment and ask yourself what exactly is bothering you. Journaling can also help keep track of these patterns. Maybe once it's all laid out, it won't feel as overwhelming. Also, as you're already planning, discussing with a therapist can really help unpack this stuff.
Those feelings you're experiencing might just be your mind's way of signaling that there's some underlying stuff you still need to work through; it's natural for our emotions to spring up unexpectedly sometimes.
i think your reaction might be more common than you realize. maybe it's just a little reminder of something you're looking for too? it's not weird.
I think that deep down I crave a relationship even tho I don’t wanna admit it, but I’m patience, patience is the key.
patience is good, but it's also okay to want something more and acknowledge that. i think just being open to whatever comes your way can lighten that awkwardness a bit!
Yo, I feel ya. It's tough seeing couples when you're not in the best headspace. Reminds me of this time at a barbecue last summer, chilling with friends and then bam, everyone pairs off to do their cute couple things; left me standing there with my soda feeling like an extra in my own life. Totally sucked for a bit till I just focused on having fun with those who were around. Maybe it's less about what they have and more about finding your groove and folks to vibe with in those moments. You're def not alone feeling weird about it sometimes!
It’s not that I’m at the best headspace I think that my energy was focused on the others. But today went pretty well, no insecure feelings and finally more rational, centered and stable.
That's great to hear! Good that you're feeling more centered. Sometimes these things come and go, you know? Just keep taking it day by day, soon it'll all feel like a passing cloud...
One step a time as everything in life
Maybe you're just overthinking it?!
Totally! I found out tonight that this couple is taking the same schedule as me but today I was totally minding my own business, I even notice that they play with each other lol like splashing water and I found it cute. I even talk to her about some techniques that I need to improve, so today was a great day!
Sounds like progress! It's great you had a good day and could focus on yourself. Keep at it, maybe those feelings will fade away with time.
wow i get ur confused but i mean have u thought about talking to the people themselves?? maybe instead of wondering why ur sad just ask them lol honesty helps or try getting involved with different activities
Talking to them? Change my activities? Why?
i was in a similar situation once. at the gym, i always saw this couple who seemed super happy together and it made me feel weird too. ended up chatting with them one day and turns out they were just as confused about life stuff as me lol. talking helped put things in perspective for sure.
I somewhat agree with your feelings of unease when witnessing others' interactions, particularly when it feels like there's something missing personally. That said, it could also be an opportunity for self-reflection on what you want out of your own relationships. It's great that you're considering discussing this with a therapist; they can help dig deeper into these emotions and find some clarity.
And how do you do that? I mean, the self reflection
Hah, self-reflection can be a real trip, right? It often starts with just asking yourself some basic questions. What do I feel when I see these interactions? Why am I feeling this way? Sometimes writing it out helps too. Keep at it, and don't worry if it seems awkward at first!
This happened to me at a wedding once.
And how do you handle it?
Honestly, it took me a while to figure it out. I just tried to focus on my own happiness and remind myself that it's okay to feel these things. Talking to friends helped too.
dont worry about it so much ppl always feel insecure at times. its not really all that uncommon chill a bit
When I first started my job, I felt super lonely whenever coworkers paired up for lunch chats without me. It passed eventually though once I found my own group.
Have you tried exploring new hobbies?
Why? To meet more people?
Exploring new hobbies might help with meeting people, but it's also about shifting focus and finding joy in something different. It could give you a fresh perspective.
How? Can you explain it better, ty!
It's like giving your mind a new toy to play with! :) When you're focused on something new, your brain gets too busy to fixate on old patterns and feelings. Plus, finding joy in different activities might make you feel more balanced overall.
I wanna focus in new hobbies and projects by now
lmao i felt exactly the same when my friends got together its sooo annoying!
Have you considered whether this feeling might be connected to something from your past experiences? Maybe there have been situations where you've felt left out or overlooked before and they're cropping up now in different ways. It's worth exploring what lies beneath these emotions because understanding them better could help alleviate some of the discomfort you're experiencing.
How can they still matter if they’re past experiences?
They matter because they shape who we are, even if they're in the past. Think of them like a hidden script running in your background, influencing how you react to things now. It's not about living in the past, just understanding how it can affect today.
Today I discuss this at therapy and I’m so happy for it, some things can shape your perception and thoughts but they’re not a permanent thing
That's awesome to hear! Therapy can really help peel back those layers and give new perspectives. It sounds like you're on a great path, keep it up!
Yeah but some peels are exhausting and scary but they’re there for a reason too, or maybe not, maybe they’re there to get to know you better and improve yourself, integrate experiences, set boundaries and finally move on.
It's definitely a deep and exhausting process. Peeling back those layers can feel like opening a can of worms, but each layer you peel back is a step closer to understanding yourself better. Sometimes the scary parts hold the most insights!